Xinxing Improvement with Hardship

Cai Hong

PureInsight | October 24, 2019

[] A few days ago, I suddenly had a serious stomachache and could not help crying. Apparently, it was because I ate a rotten peach. However, I knew that my Xinxing should be improved. Looking inward, did I have an attachment of fear or an attachment to any food recently? My stomach still hurt a lot after I found those attachments. Even all fellow practitioners in our Fa study group sending forth the righteous thoughts for me still didn’t help.

I suffered for several days. Some fellow practitioners came to visit me and share experience with me on how to improve my Xinxing based on Fa.

Fellow practitioners A and B came

Fellow practitioner A said, "Your stomachache is a pseudo morph. Does that mean you should increase your capacity? Apparently, you ate a peach. Peach is heart-shaped. Does that mean we should improve Xinxing?” I thought, “You can only say something well but not do something well. In our cooperation, you always throw the difficult part at me. How could you talk about my problem?”

Fellow practitioner B said, "Do you have the attachment of not being able to be talked about by others? Because we study Fa at your home, you cannot follow our suggestion. If you really want to find your attachment, you may listen to the fellow practitioner’s suggestion from your Fa study group or your relatives. They know you so much.” I thought, “You could talk a lot. Did you check yourself?”

My sister who has been a Dafa practitioner as well came later. Fellow practitioner B suggested my sister to talk to me about my attachments because she has been very close to me. My sister rolled out her tongue; opened and shut her mouth, swallowing every word.

Fellow practitioners C and D came together. However, I still refused to share experience with them. I thought that they had so many attachments, how could they give me suggestion?
It was group Fa study again. After Fa study, the fellow practitioner E shared how he looked inward to cultivate his attachments including the attachment to his cellphone. His sharing was lively and vivid. Then I asked him about what attachments I should eliminate.

He said, "You have attachment of showing off. You also have attachment to the fellow practitioner. If someone comes late for the Fa study at your home or if someone is not diligent, you will get anxious." I was mad immediately and said, “I want the fellow practitioners to come early, so we can do more Fa study. If we cultivate diligently, we may improve quickly. How could it be an attachment?”  He said, "It’s not wrong for you to hope we improve. But you are too anxious!” I was about to argue but realized it was not right for a cultivator to argue too much. Then I stopped it.

After they left, I lay in bed but could not calm down. How could he say I had attachment? Why was it an attachment to hope our fellow initiates to improve? After about one hour, I memorized part of the lecture from Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan, “As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important.” Then I changed my mind quickly. I have been unbalanced for such long time just because the fellow practitioners mentioned my attachments. What attachment was it? It was the elusive attachment. I could not accept that they pointed out my attachment. I also had the attachment of competition and showing off. I knew I was wrong.

Master said in Zhuan Falun, “But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” Master, my understanding has been bad until it irritated me psychologically. It took me so long time to calm down and find my attachments. I must eliminate my attachments.
Looking back in the past few years, I had the following attachments:
First, the elusive attachment. I could not accept the suggestion from our fellow practitioners many times. Even if I did not express my points, I was not convinced. More often, I argued with them. Then they did not do sharing experience at my home after Fa study.

Second, I often compared the fellow practitioners’ weakness with my strengths. As a result, I believed I have been the perfect one. I also believed I was much better than the others.  It was a terrible attachment. In fact, I should compare the fellow practitioners’ strengths with my shortcomings to improve myself based on Fa. Then I could improve faster.

Third, I often checked the fellow practitioners against Master’s lecture but did not check myself.
When I eliminated these attachments, my stomach got well and I could eat anything.
Thanks for Master’s arrangement to improve my cultivation.

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