PureInsight | May 3, 2004
[PureInsight.org] Teacher said:
A Dafa disciple should put the Fa first in everything he does--whenever you evaluate something you have to consider the Fa first. You probably remember something I've said to you often: a Dafa disciple should consider others first in everything he does. Whenever something happens or whenever a situation comes about, even if it's a minor thing, my first thought is of others, for it's already become natural for me--I just think of others first.
(From "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
When practitioners are exchanging insights on cultivation, everyone talks beautifully: "We must follow what Teacher has taught us, and attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism." But may I ask how many of us have truly attained such a realm?
I'd like to share with everybody a few things that I have witnessed lately which I have found rather shocking.
One day, we came to practitioner A's school dormitory at 6:00 P.M. to study the Fa together. This was the first time for us to study the Fa together in his dormitory. He said to us when we arrived, "Please go ahead and start without me. The cafeteria is now open, so I'll go have dinner first and join you later." Then he left [without asking if we already had dinner]. I felt A was rather inconsiderate and selfish. It occurred to me that a practitioner had come from a different city this morning, and had spent a whole day doing Dafa work. Therefore, he has not had the chance to have dinner yet. But practitioner A just left for dinner without asking any of us if we already had dinner. I produced some snacks from my bag and offered them to this practitioner from out of town, but he wouldn't take it. He said politely he was not hungry yet. When practitioner A came back in a little while, he joined our group Fa study without saying anything. I couldn't help remembering how I had treated my friends years ago when I was not even a practitioner. If people visited me at lunchtime, I would bring my lunch from the cafeteria and share it with my visitors. If there wasn't enough food for us, I would buy additional food from outside. But practitioner A just went to have dinner without asking if anybody else needed to eat, not to mention bringing some food back to share with us. His lack of consideration truly shocked me.
During the lunch break of a recent large group Fa study, many practitioners took out their lunch and started eating. I shared the food I had prepared with everybody. The practitioner next to me was having green bean fried rice. I noticed his lunch box was small and exquisite, so I praised its design and said it was practical and cute. After I returned from a stroll, I saw that he was eating a bigger lunch box. I asked him if it was the same box that I saw earlier, he said no, it was another one. I was shocked to see him eating the second lunch box because I knew practitioner B sitting next to him had driven practitioners from his area that morning to attend this group study and had not eaten anything yet except the couple of snacks that I offered him. How could that be enough for lunch? I couldn't hold myself back and told the practitioner who was eating his second lunchbox that practitioner B had not eaten anything yet. Instead of sharing his lunch box, he explained that he only prepared vegetarian food in a rush this morning so he thought that it was not good enough to share with others. In my humble opinion, it's not important what he had to share with others. What's important is whether or not he has thought of his fellow practitioners or others. What's important is whether or not he has thought of asking if other practitioners had lunches before thinking about himself. What's important is whether or not he is willing to share his food with others.
These two things clearly exposed egoism in these two practitioners. I asked myself if I had the same attachment. Looking at myself, I knew I was no different from those two practitioners. When sharing cultivation experiences with fellow practitioners, I often started each sentence with "I believe", "I feel", or "I want to do this and that." I rarely had the patience to hear anyone out, thinking everyone was full of human notions and at a very low cultivation level. I rarely tried to put myself in their shoes, or tried to silently complement and harmonize their ideas, not to mention thinking of us as one-body and validating the Fa cohesively. I was mostly concerned about showing off my talents. When I called fellow practitioners, I would tell them what to do and how to do it. Sometimes I would even order them around, such as ordering them to come pick me up the next day for some Dafa work. I seldom thought about other practitioners' schedule and availability. I acted really bossy. It might appear that I was trying to enhance the Dafa work in our area, but in essence I was using Fa-validation work to prove my talents and capabilities. Despite trying to improve my cultivation practice, and having the intent of doing Dafa work well, everything I have attempted was actually done selfishly.
After I noticed the selfish mentality in my fellow practitioners and me, I suddenly became aware that we have been most fortunate to obtain the most precious, fundamental Dafa of the cosmos. Having thought about Teacher's forbearance for our sake, His infinite grace, and His teachings in the recent years to untie the knots in our hearts and to encourage us to improve, I wanted to cry for I knew I have failed to live up to his expectation. On many occasions I had conducted myself inappropriately although I knew what Dafa required of us.
I have been studying the Fa, yet why am I unwilling to assimilate myself into the Fa wholeheartedly? I know everything Master says is true, but why do I still follow my own notions stubbornly? I will enter tranquility each time I study the Fa, yet why do I behave like an everyday person as soon as I walk out of the door? Teacher said:
If you hold on to humanness with one hand and won't let go, and you hold on to Buddhahood with the other hand and won't let go, just which one exactly do you want? When you can truly let go the situation will definitely be different.
(From "Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
Judged from every aspect, I am attached to selfishness.
If every Dafa practitioner truly respects Teacher and Falun Dafa in a sense that we all conduct ourselves with Teacher's Fa and discipline our speeches and actions strictly according to the Fa, the persecution against Falun Gong practitioners in China would have ended a long time ago. Every problem we encounter is the result of our attachments, especially selfishness. It is precisely because of their stubborn attachment to selfishness that the old forces continue to persecute Falun Gong and its practitioners.
I have learned from these two incidents that the attachment to egoism is a giant obstacle on our cultivation path. I believe that as we are eradicating our attachment to selfishness, we are completely denying the law of the old universe and helping to create the new universe. We mustn't let our Teacher down repeatedly or fail his compassionate salvation and immense sacrifices for us. I really have to strive to meet the standards of the Fa from now on in order to help guarantee the absolute purity and righteousness of the new universe.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2003/11/5/24375.html