PureInsight | December 21, 2023
[PureInsight.org] In the past few days, I have noticed that my daughter is no longer as obsessed with her phone as she used to be. Now, she only uses her phone for assignments or occasionally when she is tired of doing homework. Sometimes, she does not even want to use it at all.
She was not like this before. My daughter is in the fourth grade this year. When she was younger, I did not allow her to play with cell phone. During that time, she loved reading, memorizing ancient poems, and often studied the Fa with me, memorizing Hong Yin. When she was in the first grade, she could read Zhuan Falun fluently. When the online classes started during the pandemic, I was busy with work or going out to save people every day, and I could not supervise her at home. She started playing with the cell phone. At first, she just chatted with friends, but later she began watching various children's videos and became more and more engrossed. She did not listen to me when I tried to stop her. As long as she was not studying, she would pick up her phone without playing with other toys or reading books. I was well aware of the dangers of phones and fear that inappropriate online content might harm children, but I felt helpless.
Not only did she watch short videos through the phone, but also she downloaded a small game from her grandma's phone that she became addicted to. During the entire summer vacation and an eight-day holiday in October, as long as she did not have homework, she begged to go to her grandma's house. She would not eat the meal or correct her homework as long as she played a game. She even played a video game during the mealtime and could not stop until she finished a game level. She often played until very late at her grandma's house. I know the negative effects of games and how addiction works, but no matter what I said, it did not work. I could not forcefully take the phone away from her, and we often clashed over it. I felt powerless.
Lately, Master has released several new scriptures, and the Minghui editorial department has been publishing many articles. The discussions about "human heart, human thoughts, and human sentiments" among practitioners have attracted lots of attention. Many fellow practitioners who have learned Master's new scriptures have been looking inward. One day, I kept pondering over the words "human heart, human thoughts, and human sentiments". Isn't the apparent meaning of "human thoughts" just one's ordinary concepts? Since the day I began practicing Dafa, I am no longer an ordinary person. I should view things from a cultivator’s perspective instead of an ordinary person’s. Why am I still thinking in a human way after over twenty years’ cultivation? Why do I assess the problem from the standpoint of "human mind"? For example, regarding the issue of cell phones, I treated them as if they were fierce floods and savage beasts. I did not want my child to touch them and worried that she would be hurt. It was counter-productive. The more I worried, the worse it got. The more I tried to control her, the less control I had. My attitude toward my child became increasingly harsh. I kept warning her daily about how phones and games would ruin her. I lost my patience and compassion. However, my child did not listen but often argued with me.
One day, I suddenly realized, "Did I take the phone too seriously and over emphasize its dangers? I know that the cell phone was invented by extraterrestrial beings to destroy humanity. Nowadays, life is inseparable from phones; everyone is controlled by them, not to mention of the negative effect on children. Teachers, parents, and schools cannot do anything about it. Because of cell phones, human beings cannot even engage in normal communication or activities. It is a problem that humanity cannot solve. However, Dafa is omnipotent. Why have I been treating the phone issue as such a major problem? Haven't I put it too seriously? There is nothing that Dafa cannot resolve.
I have not been overly concerned about my daughter’s academic performance, believing that her future and destiny are prearranged. I was relatively laid-back about those matters to let it be. Since I was always busy with my own work, group Fa study and truth clarification during the weekends, consequently, I devoted less attention to my child. She did not take my suggestion regarding phones. I felt helpless because I could not constantly scold her. One day, I realized that my approach was incorrect. Let it be did not mean letting her drift. It was not the righteous thoughts of a cultivator but irresponsible for me to leave her problems alone. I should be responsible for my child's growth because she came for Dafa and salvation. I have a responsibility and obligation to guide the young disciple. This is my responsibility as a Dafa disciple, not just as her mother.
After I understood this problem, I insisted that she join our group Fa study that evening. She was reluctant because the game had a hold on her. I was very strict and firm that day. I could not allow her to play as she wished. It was not forbearance as a cultivator, but rather indulging in demons. I was so tough that she had to go for the group Fa study. She was like a different person in group Fa study and read everything fluently.
Since that day, my daughter has gradually changed, and her phone addiction has lessened. Previously, she would play games even while going to the bathroom and on the way home. Now, she takes a book when going to the bathroom, no phone. She does not insist on going to her grandma's house during lunch, and even if she takes a short break between studies, she can put the phone down quickly. After I changed my mindset, my attitude toward her changed, and I spoke to her more gently with a consultative tone. Surprisingly, she became more obedient. Sometimes, she was very sensible. I do not need to worry about her in many ways. It was poles apart.
My understanding was Master removed the bad things because I changed my mindset. Dafa is omnipotent. If we encounter any challenging problems, it is time for us to change our mindset.
Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/286131