PureInsight | July 28, 2008
[PureInsight.org] There is an
ancient Chinese saying, "Spoiling someone because of love is harmful to
that person." This is not difficult to understand. But if someone says
"spoiling someone is equal to killing him," some people may find it too
extreme to accept. In fact, these remarks could be right. Here is a
story recorded in Yuewei Caotang Notes (Vol 7 Number 24).
There used to be two brothers, the elder one was called Zhang Eryou,
and the younger one was called Zhang Sanchen. When Eryou passed away,
he left behind a child. Sanchen looked after the child and loved him
very much. Later, Sanchen purchased land for him and helped him start a
family. To do those things, Sanchen almost exhausted his money.
However, because of this excessive spoiling, his nephew became very
arrogant. Out of lust, he had affairs with women in many places. In the
end, he developed a strange illness and died from it.
These events touched Sanchen deeply, although some neighbors praised
him for doing the right thing. However, when Sanchen was ill, he fell
into a coma and had a vision. He said to himself upon recovering,
"This is very strange. My brother Eryou wanted to sue me. He said I
killed his son. This is really unfair!"
Several days later, Sanchen's illness improved. His mind became clearer
and he said to his family, "It is indeed my fault. My nephew was not
someone who had no future. But I only aided him in his material life
and did not educate him. As a result, he had many affairs with women
and died with a severe illness. If it was not me who killed him, who
else it could be?" Sanchen was very full of regret and he died soon
In Yuewei Caotang Notes the
author continually wrote, "I used to be an examiner and there was one
person I met who asked me to write the epitaph for his stepmother. He
said, 'My mother has two children and my stepmother has one. My
stepmother treated all three the same way, no matter whether it was
related to meals, clothing, or reprimanding their mistakes.' This was
Sanchen was a nice person, but the lesson he learned was a very big
one. Let us all learn from this serious matter and educate our children
with consideration and in an appropriate way.
June 18, 2008
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2008/6/18/53387.html