Looking Within as an Earnest Disciple

A Dafa Disciple from Mainland China

PureInsight | June 6, 2014

[PureInsight.org] During the early stages of the persecution, a few fellow practitioners and I felt that there was some interference amongst us. When we discussed together we often felt bewildered, as if some formless pressure was pushing down. Our states of mind were restless and unstable. We often found opportunities to study the Fa and discuss together, and in that kind of environment we came to understand the importance of helping each other. However, we were still hounded by the evil. Each of us had our gaps exploited and we were persecuted by the evil at different levels. Each of us experienced many different things.

After looking within, I found a deeply-rooted heart of selfishness that was obstructing me. I was attached to my ego and I didn’t have many friends either. Only after I realized these problems did I find that many things were brought about because I hadn’t cultivated well.

I am always very emphatic when I interact with ordinary people putting people off-side in regards to dealing with me. Sometimes ordinary people would tell me that I had high endurance, which only confused me. Later I realized that they were saying that I endured the same way as them – using human emotions.

At one time, I felt particularly bewildered. I looked within and determined that I wasn’t compassionate leading me to ponder what true compassion really was. Compassionate Master continuously took care of me, allowing me to see what it was that made me uncompassionate, and then I began to understand. I had to save sentient beings, but without truly understanding their pain, I could not understand just how pitiful they really are. Whether a cultivator should save sentient beings or stay attached to ego and self-interest is a question of principle. Many thanks to Master, your disciple finally found the error of his understandings.

Interacting with ordinary people has always been difficult for me and constantly end up offending others. Using the words of ordinary people, I have bad human-relationship skills. I want to save people, but people don’t like responding to me. What should I do about this? I could not understand the intents of others, so I decided I might as well make an effort to understand myself. But actually, if I have studied the Fa well, I would naturally know to look within and cultivate myself.

I learned how to perceive the feelings of others. Every time I clarified the truth and others weren’t willing to listen, I would first endure and not get angry. I would search for my own problems as well as for what might be obstructing the other person. I began to realize a lot of times that it was the old forces obstructing me and blocking me from seeing what is obstructing people. After I use the Fa to correct myself, I then gain the wisdom to undo whatever is preoccupying the world’s people. In actuality, I am in fact undoing my own preoccupation. With power and strong righteous thoughts, it only takes a few sentences to undo the evil obstructing people from being saved.

However, I do not always find my own attachments so easily. Sometimes, I would find myself wandering about for a long period of time, really testing my willpower. Master is compassionate and would use various methods to enlighten me. Sometimes I would unconsciously be very stubborn, and it would take a couple of falls before I realized this. However, when I finally awakened I understood what it meant to be a compassionate being at a certain level. In a flash, Master would open up my wisdom, allowing me to see everything clearly. I would weep incessantly; as if only in this way could I learn my lesson. I should be compassionate towards all sentient beings.

I have clearly come to understand Master’s expectations, compassion, and greatness. Master, your disciple thanks you!

Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/128104

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