Some Experiences of Looking Within

A Dafa Disciple, Sunshine

PureInsight | May 31, 2019

[] I had a new department manager who got angry very easily. I didn’t cultivate myself and always thought of being better than him.

One day, I suddenly realized that I should look within. Maybe it was my own problems instead of the new department manager’s problems because I kept seeing him being angry. However, I had no idea what my problem was. I felt cultivation was so hard and didn’t know how to continue.

Nonetheless, when I started to think of my own problems, a practitioner happened to walk pass, referring to a machine, “Why so stubborn?” I know this was Master enlightening me.

One day, I felt as if a very sharp weapon was piercing my body and extremely painful. Even though I couldn’t see other dimensions, I had a very sensitive body. I had one day off after my night shift. I slept for the entire day. It seemed that I had a cold. I was unable to stand up to do the standing exercise. I took a week off but I didn’t take any actual rest. I knew I had to do something.

I noticed that I had a deep-rooted hatred in my brain. I had huge hatred when recalling practitioners who hurt me. I didn’t even hate those evil policemen. Why did I hate my fellow practitioners? Fellow practitioners are also Master’s disciples. Isn’t hating them a sin? I felt very strange to have such “hatred” in my mind. Recalling past experiences, one time a practitioner came to me and hoped to help me, I was however angry at him for no reason. A voice in my mind said, “How could you move me like this?” I felt very surprised when hearing this voice and clearly knew it wasn’t me. However, this “not me” still controlled me. I couldn’t remove or change it. I recalled one sharing article online called “not truly sad”. A practitioner didn’t act in a truthful way. When other practitioners point out his problems, he tried his best to hide.  Other practitioners were all deceived and thought he cultivated well. One practitioner who could see other dimensions saw a god in a level called “not true”. Because the practitioner who acted untruthfully didn’t reach the god’s level and the god was unable to change the practitioner, the god was crying. The untruthful practitioner eventually passed away.

The untruthful practitioner didn’t save his sentiment beings. This article really touched me. I re-read it once in a while. Today I read it again. You can only change what you have realized. For what you haven’t realized, you could never change anything. Practitioners’ cultivation states correspond to his sentient beings in higher dimensions. I now start to think how many attachments I still have.

I started to cultivate myself truly and discard the hatred. As stated in The Ultimate Goal of Communism, the evil created hatred and planted it into people’s mind. I needed to dismember such hatred. I started to listen to How The Specter of Communism Is Ruling Our World and understood many things that I had ignored in the past. I started to truly cultivate myself. I didn’t let go any single unrighteous thought. One day, I had some bad thoughts about one practitioner. When he walked toward me, I had bad thoughts about him again in my mind. I realized my problem as soon as I had that bad notion. I needed to cultivate myself instead of picking on other people’s problems. Master said in A Dialogue with Time in Essentials for Further Advancement), “Divine Being: These problems have already become very serious. It would be good if they could manage to search within themselves for the things that they have been able to find in others”. I recalled that when I first came to the printing house, I did a lot of cleanings. Two machines are vital to the printing houses. I cleaned them very often and carefully. Now I didn’t clean those two machines that much. Was it because I have a harder job now? Was it because I became busier? Was it because I became tired of myself? I had a lot of negative thoughts.

I decided to change this. I stood up. I still felt very painful. However, I still found a towel to clean the two machines. Surprisingly, all my pains suddenly disappeared. I felt very scared. Beings in other dimensions were watching me in that moment. The pains which bothered me for one week were all gone.

Now the environment has all changed. The new manager stopped being angry and became very easy going.

The environment in the past was all caused by my own problem, which is the hatred that did not belong to me.

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