PureInsight | December 1, 2021
Greetings, revered Master!
Greetings, my fellow practitioners!
I am at the age of 24 and come from Michigan, U.S. It was such a fortune that I started to practice Dafa with my mother when I was aged two. I would like to share my experience of removing attachments in my work environment.
Resentment Roots in Looking Outward
Upon finishing nursing school studies, I worked at Children’s ICU in a hospital. However, the work contract lasted only five months. During that period, I did my best to work under pressure in such a fast-paced environment.
In the last few months of my internship, I was assigned to a new mentor. She spoke bluntly to me. I was often criticized by her. She ever told me that I need to speed up and improve my skills; otherwise, I may have to find another employer.
In order to upgrade my work skills, I kept in mind supervisor’s advice and opinions. Every time I finished my work, I would identify the areas that need improvement. In addition, I would get work plan for the following day ready. Meanwhile, I learned from friends how to improve work performance.
The interaction with my supervisor was a Xinxing test. Every time my work was reviewed by her, I felt uncomfortable. I tried to handle this with smile. However, in fact, I made a complaint in my mind, “Why was she so critical of me? My approach was ok, but just different from hers.” Even I reckoned that the way she criticized me was not tactful enough, so I felt upset.
Once I made a mistake and was criticized harshly. How wronged I felt! In lunch break, I was unable to take a meal. I could not help but to run outside and cry. It was too hard to tolerate her and meet her expectations. When she pointed out my shortcomings, the resentment began to spread in my mind.
Finally, I was advised to find a job elsewhere to update fundamental knowledge and nursing skills. I was shocked and felt that I was a loser. My efforts put into the work were not acknowledged. As a result, my resentment was aggravated on a daily basis. However, I still looked outward.
A few months passed. Fortunately, I started to look within and review my practices. I realized that I did not take that as a good opportunity to give up human attachment. When working with my supervisor, I behaved as though I were an everyday person. I reckoned that I was treated unfairly. I had to confess that I made a complaint to Master. Why did Master not help me when I was criticized by my mentor? I felt truly sorry for such an incorrect thought.
Master said in True Cultivation from Essentials for Further Advancement, “You fell here from a holy, pure, and incomparably splendid world because you had developed attachments at that level. After falling into a world that is, by comparison, most filthy, instead of cultivating yourself to go back in a hurry, you don’t let go of those filthy things that you cling to in this filthy world, and you even agonize over the most trivial losses. Did you know that in order to save you the Buddha once begged for food among everyday people? Today, I once again make the door wide open, and teach this Dafa to save you. I have never felt bitter for the numerous hardships I have suffered. Then what do you have that still can’t be abandoned? Can you bring to heaven the things deep down inside that you cannot let go of?”
The resentment roots in looking outside. Instead of truly accepting my supervisor’s opinion, I found her critical of others. Even I started to blame the way she criticized me. She should speak to me pleasantly rather than bluntly.
Master said in To the European Fa Conference, “Some students have, throughout the course of their cultivation, always looked outward, sought external solutions, and looked for things outwardly, focusing on things such as how others are not treating them well, saying displeasing things, acting too much like ordinary people, always being hard on them, or never accepting their ideas. As a result, you have stopped doing anything that Dafa disciples do to validate the Fa, and have even stopped cultivating in a fit of anger. Do you really not realize for whom you are cultivating? Do you really not understand that those unpleasant things are helping you to cultivate, remove your human thoughts, and get rid of your attachments? Didn’t the course of your life change into that of a cultivator the day you took up cultivation? Isn’t it true that nothing you come across is by chance? Aren’t you traveling the path to divinity? Do you really believe that cultivation is only appealing and you can only elevate when what graces your ears are pleasing things and when Dafa disciples only say things that resonate with you?”
At the beginning stage of that job, I felt like I was in a dead end. No matter how hard I totally followed my mentor’s instructions, I did not make progress in my work. Now I realized that there are clear links between cultivation state and work performance. Because I did not genuinely accept my mentor’s opinions, I was unable to make progress steadfastly and rapidly. That is to say, I did not align with Master’s Fa teaching at that moment.
Later, I started to dispel resentment when I came across interpersonal conflicts or barriers. I feel thankful for Master’s hint.
Remove Attachments and Believe in Master’s Arrangement
It took me four months to search for jobs during the peak of CCP virus in 2020. I applied for a position A in a childcare institution where my friend worked. In the application process, I experienced rollercoaster-like mood fluctuations and several rejections.
Before I got an opportunity to attend an interview for position A, my application was rejected by human resources. I felt depressed and cried a lot and my eyes were swollen the next day. Again I began to make complaints to the former supervisor, perhaps she did not make a good comment on the work recommendation.
However, my status changed next day. They reconsidered my application for position A, which made me happy. A couple of days later, I was notified by an email, “Position A was cancelled, so this email turned out to be a system error.”
When frustrated, I felt upset. When notified the good news, I was delighted. My main spirit was affected by emotions. Obviously, this was a Xinxing test, where I would be tested if I could stay unmoved in frustration. Thus, I decided to remove the attachment to the work and listen to Master. However, I still found it hard to do so.
Master said in Zhuan Falun, “In spiritual practice you have to go through ordeals, and they serve to test whether you can become free of your emotions and desires and the sway they hold over you. Being attached to those things will impede your progress.”
Finally, I went through position A application. In the meantime, it was likely to attend a job interview on nursing adult patients. I was struggling working with adults, but very attached to position A, which was about nursing children. I had not received the application outcome for position A.
When I began to prepare for position B interview, I was like an ordinary person who is only concerned about one’s personal gain. I looked forward to enjoying my passion for work, but I could not tolerate the work that I disliked, such as position B. My personal likes and dislikes could be clearly viewed in job applications. I like working with children, because they are tiny and cute and I will suffer less physical pains. Therefore, my laziness and attachment to comfort were detected. Then I started to refine my character and to have noticed that position B gives me opportunities for professional development. When I attended position B interview, I tried not to think about anything but to believe in Master.
On finishing the interview, I was advised that Position A has been fulfilled by another nurse who was more experienced. This was the third time that I had been frustrated in workplace. However, I kept unmoved and was full of kind thoughts. I fully understand why that nurse was employed, because she had sound knowledge and years of work experience. Patients can benefit more from her care. Now I felt confident with my future, as I believe in Master instead of following my desire.
Master said in True Cultivation from Essentials for Further Advancement, “You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful—the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain.”
Then I was nearly free of feelings and emotions, though I still felt a bit sorrowful.
Through Master’s mighty compassion, I gradually removed the attachment and witnessed a miracle. In the early morning the next day, I woke up by my friend’s call. I was told that position A was offered to me. The manager particularly requested to add this job to employ me!
Master’s arrangement is the best of all. In the past, I did not take those Xinxing tests seriously and could not renounce attachments as soon as practicable. Nor did I hold 100 per cent faith in Master and Dafa. Nevertheless, when I raised the level of faith, I was able to be on the right track arranged by Master. Once again, I feel grateful for compassionate Master.
Cultivation is extremely serious. Whenever we identified the attachments, we should not be swayed. Through Fa study, I can discern the attachments and my Xinxing progress. I still have many attachments to give up, such as fear, comfort, jealousy, desire and human sentimentality. The Fa-rectification cultivation period has been prolonged, due to Master’s enormous compassion. Dafa disciples should grow more diligent, eliminate our last attachments and fulfill our mission to clarify the truth and save sentient beings.
My cultivation level is limited. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, my fellow practitioners!
(2021 Online Fa Conference for Young Dafa Disciples)
Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/269696