Love with a Debt of Gratitude

Texas Practitioners

PureInsight | February 17, 2003

[] In Chinese, the term used to describe the perfect marital relationship is made up of two characters, debt of gratitude and love. Today, many people consider debt of gratitude as a rhetorical supplement to love. In fact that is not the case. Love comes after debt of gratitude.

The inner meaning of debt of gratitude is broader than that of love. People might have developed various yuan[predestined relationships] from situations occurring in their previous lives. Debt of gratitude also originates in this way. Love itself is not enough to nurture and sustain a marriage. Only when two people really care about the debt of gratitude between them and "treat each other like honored guests" (a saying describing the perfect relationship between a couple), can family life be happy and harmonious.

Unfortunately, many modern people only care about passionate love. When the passion is strong, two people can make promises to each other that their love will last to the end of time, unshakable like the mountains and deeper than the sea. When the passion grows weak, however, people will pursue a new relationship in an attempt to recapture that original intensity of passionate feeling. It does not occur to them that this short-lived passion is irrational and selfish.

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