PureInsight | October 16, 2016
Before 2015 Christmas, I overcame a tribulation of Life and Death.
1. To find my fundamental attachment
One day, I suddenly felt back pain and chest ache. My heart almost stopped. When my heart started to get painful, I knew it was not karma elimination but the arrangement by the old forces. Immediately, I refused to accept it in my mind and memorized Fa in Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference, “ ‘I'm Li Hongzhi's disciple, I don't want other arrangements or acknowledge them’--then they won't dare to do that. So it can all be resolved. When you can really do that, not just saying it but putting it into action, Master will definitely stand up for you. ” Soon after, I didn’t feel that pain but very tired and wanted to go to bed. Then I realized only two kinds of people went to bed during the daytime: one was exhausted people; the other was sick people. Which one did I belong to?
For a practitioner, one should practice instead of going to bed if one felt tired. Going to the bed meant I accepted the arrangement by the old forces that I was sick. I endured the pain to meditate by sending righteous thought and looking inward. I found lots of attachments. Then I begged Master to remove my attachment as soon as I found one. In the meanwhile, I reminded myself, the persecution on my body shouldn’t influence the three things - Fa study, sending forth righteous thoughts, and truth clarification. Doing the housework and taking care of granddaughter should be the norm. The old forces would impose persecution on my easy mind. Although my back pain made me not able to stand straight up; my uncomfortable heart made my legs shakes when I held the baby, I never talked to my family members about my problem and thought, “Ignore them!” However, my back was still painful every day. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts and found many attachments including fear, resentment, jealousy, showing off, impatient, lazy, party culture etc. I asked myself why there was still pain on my back after I found so many attachments? It seemed like I haven’t found the right one. What was it? One day, I read a practitioner’s sharing on Minghui website. The words "fundamental attachments" impressed me so much. It seemed like my fundamental attachment wasn’t myself as I thought before. I should find my own fundamental attachment this time. Master said in “Towards Consummation” from Essentials for Further Advancement II, “Some people think that Dafa is in keeping with their own understanding of science; some people think that it agrees with their own code of conduct; some people think that it speaks to their own dissatisfaction with politics; some people think that Dafa can salvage humankind’s degenerate morals; some people think that Dafa can cure their illnesses; some people think that Dafa and Master are righteous, and so on and so forth. It isn’t wrong for human beings in this world to yearn with these attachments for beautiful dreams and wishes. But a cultivator definitely shouldn’t be that way. You may start on the path of Dafa with those thoughts, yet over the course of cultivation you need to regard yourself as a cultivator. During the course of cultivation, however, through reading the books, studying the Fa, and diligently making progress, you should clearly recognize what your thoughts were when you first came to Dafa. After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven’t gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa. ”
So why did I start practice Dafa? I recalled some moments before my practice. In my twenties, I went to see fortune-tellers often about my career and salary because of the pursuit of fame. After practice, I knew most fortune-tellers had Spirit Possession. One day I had a nightmare during nap time. I was taken to the underworld and a voice said, “Her lifespan should be 18 years. How could she be brought here so late?” I was scared and told my sister after waking up. My sister said our neighbor aunt Zhao was able to extend lifespan for people; we may get help from her. Aunt Zhao claimed to be possessed by safflower python and lots of people came to get help. Then I did burn paper and lit incense as she told me. When I was 33 years old, I did again. I got help from her often and could see some low level spiritual beings. I always felt death was not far from me since I always felt scared.
In 1998, I was attracted by book Zhuan Falun’s profound connotation and finished reading it in one night. I realized human can become a Buddha. Those people I found previously were possessed by the low level spiritual beings. I was so lucky to get this book and know the truth. Then I practiced Dafa firmly.
I found my fundamental attachment was to fear of death after careful Fa study and looking back. When I confirmed with myself about my fundamental attachment, my body pain disappeared immediately. I knew I was right. I experienced trouble for not paying attention to cultivation details. My cultivation was to take advantage of Dafa’s protection. Was it real cultivation? I always felt my three things were done ok. Now I could say I did three things as a human because I didn’t find my fundamental attachments. It was also the problem of trusting Master and trusting Dafa. It would be horrible if I couldn’t find and eliminate it.
2. To clean up the fundamental attachment - selfishness
In Be Clearheaded from The Essentials of Diligent Progress VOL. III, Master said, "If you, as a student [of Dafa], do not follow Master’s requirements, it is definitely no simple thing. The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn’t follow Master’s requirements, he must be following the old forces’ arrangements."
Through it, I realized the old forces had arranged the following:
I was born in an environment which increased my attachment.
I was the youngest one at home so I didn’t have much house work but enjoyed life with better food and more fun. As long as I insisted, I could get whatever I wanted.
My study life gradually strengthened my attachment.
I was a good kid, good student with excellent results from elementary school to university. Since I always got the first place in the examination, I could always hear compliment and see teacher’s satisfaction. These subtly strengthened the attachment to self. In the meanwhile, the party culture infiltrated my mind layer by layer.
3. Working experience was to prove myself
After working at several places, I eventually got the general manager position at a large national joint-stock company. At that time, I was the man of my world without considering other people no matter at home or at work. The self-attachment was getting stronger and stronger.
The old force strengthened my fear. I had to get help from low level spiritual beings which obeyed the principles of the old cosmos in the ordinary world. They paralyzed my main consciousness and re-arranged my life. I knew the fake self was composed of bad thoughts, karma and bad ideas. I had to eliminate them completely to clean up my fundamental attachments.
Then I sent forth righteous thoughts as long as I had time every day to separate the true self and the fake one. I also cultivated myself solidly by digging my attachments in my mind. Every day, I had to recall the whole day experience to find attachments. Plus I increased Fa study to clean myself. Doing three things made me integrate into the whole because the whole was so powerful.
Finally, let me end with Fa in Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students, “
"Disciple: I feel that the old forces arranged for us some critical junctures and want to keep us down, but as long as we pass those tests and overcome those ordeals we will be able to let go of our fundamental attachments and thereby do better.
Teacher: Yes, if you weren't attached to anything the old forces would have no excuse and could do nothing to you.”
Thanks Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/153916