PureInsight | November 22, 2021
[PureInsight.org] On May 13, 1993, my son was born. Despite my poor health and family's financial hardship, the birth of my son brought me hope. I devoted all my energy into caring for him.
When he was three years old, we moved into a new apartment. At that time, the door was made of wood and glass, and the gaps in the door needed to be filled with putty. When the putty was still wet, my son dug it out. I told him that he could not play with it, but he did not listen and kept playing with it a few times. He cried and stopped digging out the putty when I got angry and spanked him. A few days later, he asked me a question, "Mom, is it illegal to hit people?" I replied to him, "Son, it is illegal to hit people, so we do not hit people!" He then asked, "Is it illegal that you hit me?" I was shocked and hugged him in my arms. I said, "Mom spanked you, do you hate me?" He said, "I hate you." I gave birth to him at the age of 29, and I took him as my precious baby. I rarely ever spanked him. I could not understand how he could have hated me when he was so young. Where did this hate originate from?
When he was six years old, I was lucky to have found Falun Dafa. From then on, I understood the true meaning of human life. I kept studying and memorizing the Fa and doing everything in accordance with the requirements of Dafa. He stayed by my side and listened when I was studying the Fa. In 1999, the second year after I had practiced, the evil Chinese Communism Party (CCP) began to undermine Dafa and persecute Dafa disciples. My son told me that Master had suffered to support me in going to Beijing to validate the Fa. I went to Beijing three times and was illegally detained three times. My child had endured a lot during the persecution. Despite all the CCP's propaganda against Dafa, he remained firm in his opinion that Dafa was good. My son was naturally kind, and everyone who knew him said he was good. Not only was he filial but he also had never been in a fight with anyone. Whenever his relatives and friends experienced difficulties, he tried his best to help.
After growing up, he graduated from university. There was something that puzzled me since he started working. Everything had been going smoothly for him. He bought a car and a house. He just needed to look for a good girlfriend. But whenever things did not go smoothly for him, he would say, "I have nothing in my life. Life has no meaning. I want to jump off a building." He also said that he preferred to be depressed rather than confident. I thought it was because he had played too many computer games. After a period of observing and communicating with him, I found that this was not the fundamental reason. Later, what happened broke my heart several times.
After he started to work, someone introduced him to a girl five years younger than him. After the girl found out that I practiced Falun Dafa, she broke up with my son. My son could not accept it and smashed the computer. I tried to calm him down, but he angrily kicked me out of his room. I sat in a corner at home, looked at his room, and begged Master to help him. I kept reciting Master’s poem “Nonexistence” from Hong Yin.
“Live with no pursuit,
Die not caring about staying;
Clear out all wild thoughts,
Cultivating to a Buddha is not hard.”
That was the saddest moment in my life. I saw him being controlled by external factors, and he was unable to be rational. He even walked to the window in each room and looked painfully down at the street. It seemed as if he was contemplating jumping out the window from our 25th apartment floor. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts, and he gradually calmed down. However, he remained restless. Later, I persuaded him to watch the "Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party". When he saw the fifth commentary with a scene showing Master, he immediately calmed down and said, "Such a great Master!" He then gradually got over the pain.
In March 2019, he went to the hospital to pull out his wisdom tooth, but he still had a toothache and was upset all the time. He was dissatisfied with me and was rude to me no matter how I helped him. At first, I remembered to forbear. He felt better when his dad came back. He told his dad that I was not good at helping people. His words irritated me. I was very sad and said, "No matter what I do, you will not say that I am good." He yelled at me upon hearing what I said. I hurriedly stopped speaking. After a while, his father went out, and I called my son over. I told him that I was very sad and asked why he was always so upset with me. I hoped that he would not treat me like this. After saying that, I cried. However, I did not expect that he would also cry and even shout at me at the same time, "What do you want me to do? You want to mess things up? You won't let me live?" I hurriedly begged Master to save him. I grabbed his arm and said, "Son, mom is wrong. I will look within. I will change as long as I find my attachment. I will listen to Master's words, do not worry." He cried, "I know I should not have a bad temper like this, but I cannot control it!" After hearing his words, I became clearheaded—there had been something controlling him all this time. It would influence my son whenever it had a chance to torture us.
From 2016 to 2019, our conflicts continued. At the beginning, I was very dissatisfied and really wanted to sever my relationship with him. But, I immediately remembered that I was a Dafa disciple. If I could not be kind to my own son, who could I be kind to? I held onto one thought: Regardless of the fate of my son and me, I will listen to Master's words. I will treat him kindly and resolve all resentment. It was not possible to achieve this all at once as sometimes I wanted to continue arguing with him or even wanted to leave him forever. However, this non-stop conflict with him was finally resolved through constantly studying the Fa and looking within. In this way, I found my attachments each time. I increased my kind thoughts and kept improving myself. He also gradually became much calmer.
On July 16, 2019, he was in a bad mood due to work. As soon as he became emotional, I remembered scene after scene of his past tantrums with me. Regardless of the past, I knew that the evil factors that had caused me to think badly about my son needed to immediately disintegrate and disappear. I said in my heart, "I'm not fooled. No matter what grievances he has with me in history, I will treat him kindly. I know that all of these are the old forces' arrangements put in place to destroy us. I will never be fooled if the arrangement is to ruin us. We are all here to obtain the Fa, and we will never accept any factors arranged by the old forces in history. We only recognize what Master has arranged for us. I am kind to my son and will always treat him kindly."
On the evening of July 17, I had a clear dream. I dreamt that my son was the reincarnation of the Dragon King’s son, and our predestined relationship was arranged by the old forces and not by Master. I subconsciously wanted to forget this dream, but I could not forget it. I told my son about my dream. He said, "Are you talking about the Dragon King's third son, who was killed and had his tendons pulled out by Nezha?" I said, "It is just a nonsense dream." He said seriously, "It is impossible for you to casually have such a dream." I did not dare say anything. I had often dreamt of riding on two wheels, as if I reincarnated as Nezha, since I obtained the Fa. (Note: Nezha flies on “Wind-Fire Wheels”).
I cried three times over the following three days. I thought about how before I found Dafa, my organs were weak due to a neurological disorder. Furthermore, I had ailments from head to toe: cerebral vasodilation, headaches, severe otitis media, severe dental caries, gastric ulcer and stomach cramps, poor spleen, appendicitis, cholecystitis, accessory inflammation, athlete's foot and rheumatism. The most serious issue was having frequent cramps. When sleeping, I would suddenly have to sit up in bed due to painful cramps. I also had a strong fear of going into water. For example, I did not dare get on a boat. Every time I took a shower, whenever the water directly hit the top of my head, it made me feel like I was drowning. Sometimes it felt extremely scary.
The old forces were aggressive with their arrangements in utilizing my son's deep-seated resentment from his past life and desire for revenge on me. The old forces even manifested a scene in my mind of my son jumping out of our apartment window many times when he lost his temper. They even showed me the scene of my son's miserable death after jumping from the building. I reached the limit of my ability to forbear, and, at that moment, I felt it was too painful to live in the world. The old forces had exploited our historic grievances to the extreme. The old forces wanted to use all this and everything about me and my son to destroy my will. It was Master and Dafa who saved us, allowing me to rectify the evil thoughts in my mind and kindly resolve the thousand-year-old grievance between my son and me.
In order to better understand the distorted arrangements, I found the original version of “The Appointing of the Gods,” and read the part about Nezha in detail. I saw the part where Nezha died. The pain seemed to reappear in my body, my tears flowed.
After I read that part, a passage of Master's Fa came to my mind, “Before I came here I knew that the old forces would arrange all of this, and within the arrangement I chose what I wanted. But when it comes to a lot of fundamental things, the old forces aren’t able to change them. Even though things were set in that way, after the Fa-rectification began, the old forces still changed more than eighty percent of what was determined before history. I can’t acknowledge that kind of behavior, with their using me to satisfy their selfishness and disregarding the safety of all beings and the colossal firmament. That’s one of the reasons why I purge them. Another reason is, I set out to do Fa-rectification because I knew that all of this was no longer good enough, that no matter how much wisdom the beings inside it have they still couldn’t change the fate of disintegration, and that only when things were fundamentally changed could they be saved. But everything old wouldn’t understand my doing things that way. Yet I could accomplish it, and whether they could understand it or not, saving beings is what’s critical. So I have been breaking through all the obstacles and going all-out to resolve all of the numerous problems. In the process, the beings at different levels have seen that everything I do is the hope for truly saving everything. Having done it to this point, all the beings have also seen that everything the old forces wanted to do can’t resolve things, since those things have no roots.” (Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference)
Several years ago, Shen Yun performed a program featuring Nezha. I remember very clearly that in Shen Yun's program, it was not the Dragon King's third son who was killed, but an evil dragon that harmed people. That was Master’s arrangement in history. This arrangement, however, was altered by the old forces. They arranged for Nezha to kill the Dragon King's third son. However, that was not recognized by Master. Moreover, Nezha and the Dragon King's third son were just characters arranged in history by the old forces, and they might have been relatives before they were arranged to play those roles.
Right after I finished writing the first draft of this article, I lay down at night and saw a life approach me. He looked very kind, but disappeared in a blink of an eye. My knowing side filled me in: The consciousness of the Dragon King's third son is here. I immediately told him in my mind: We accept Master’s benevolent solutions and do not recognize the old forces arrangements. We should treat each other kindly. Moreover, we are all here to obtain the Fa and cherish everything that Master has given us.
Thank you, my compassionate and great Master!
Chinese version: http://big5.zhengjian.org/node/254027