PureInsight | May 12, 2003
[PureInsight.org] The terrible fight started with the slicing of bread. They argued fiercely over how thick the bread should be sliced, and then over their differences in religion, life styles and beliefs. Finally, they personally attacked each other, enumerating each other's faults and cursing each other. The fight between the married couple, Steve and Dana, escalated until they both were livid with rage. Dana handed their six-month-old baby girl to Steve and stomped upstairs. In less than ten minutes, Dana heard the baby crying, and went downstairs to find that Steve was short of breath. He had previously had episodes like this. So when Steve said, "Call 911, I might not make it," Dana thought he was trying to make a scene. Even after calling 911, Dana was still thinking of things she could have said during the fight, and decided that she would use them in their next confrontation.
Who could have known that less than an hour after the ambulance arrived, he would be dead of a heart attack? He didn't even have a chance to say another word before he died.
That slice of bread that Dana thought Steve had cut too thick remained on the table.
Dana came to my clinic for depression. It was raining outside, and she was extremely miserable.
"Doctor, could a person get a second chance at life? If I had another life with Steve, I wouldn't act that way anymore. I would cherish him."
She kept thinking of nice things about her husband after his death.
"I really regret what I have done!" Dana said, as she sobbed uncontrollably.
She admitted that she was harsh, demanding and said too many unkind things. She also admitted that she always had to have things her way, became irritated easily and blamed others for everything.
Now, Steve had departed without saying goodbye. He was gone forever. She never said "thank you" to Steve while he was alive. Although she wanted so much to say these words to Steve now, he could never hear her say them. Dana's regret was beyond description.
After Steve passed away, Dana suffered from depression, and, on top of that, developed systemic lupus erythematosis, a type of immune system disorder. I decided the root cause of Dana's sickness was her sadness, regret and self-reproach that manifested in her body as sickness karma. Dana became increasingly confused and frightened by the strange disease, but she did not know how to end her suffering. She looked for a cure everywhere, but her symptoms worsened.
Thinking that, at the very least, traditional Chinese medicine could give her temporary relief; Dana decided to see a traditional Chinese medical doctor.
During the treatment, I asked Dana, "Have you learned anything from these tribulations?"
Her answer surprised me. Dana replied, "I began to understand myself."
"I have never tried to change myself in my whole life, but I always wanted to change others. I found that what I liked the least in others was actually my very own problems. I called Steve lazy, but actually I was equally lazy. I called him greedy, but wasn't I also greedy? In hindsight, I saw my own flaws when we fought continuously. The most evil and vile parts of my disposition exposed themselves in the fights. When I lost my temper, I lost control. I let my anger run wild and criticized others without reservation. Steve could not win the arguments, so he must have kept his anger inside. He left first – he wanted me to stay to get rid of my flaws. If I have a chance to reincarnate as a human in the next life, I shall absolutely be a good person." Dana shared her feelings calmly.
I told Dana about cultivation. When I told her about Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance, her eyes lit up. She listened closely to these principles that she had never considered before.
I explained the root cause of illnesses according to the principle that goodness is rewarded and evil is punished, as well as the karmic relationships in samsara (reincarnation). Suddenly, she suddenly stood up and exclaimed, "Ah, now I really understand!"
"I need to have a peaceful and tolerant heart."
I think a rainbow appeared in her heart.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2003/4/7/21105.html