My Fall With Grace

A Western Practitioner

PureInsight | July 26, 2004 Hello, Revered Master. Hello Dafa Disciples.

You might have heard about a practitioner in Canada who fell from a tree. Well that's me. Many practitioners have repeatedly asked me to write my experience and I thought that the Canada Fahui would be a good opportunity to do this.

It started the morning of September 9th, 2003. I reported to Sunnybrooke Hospital, only to find out the day's work had been cancelled by the Hospital's Grounds Keeper. Since we were already there, I thought to show my supervisor a hazardous 100 feet Spruce tree that was threatening to fall onto a populated area with a high probability of striking a building. Upon examining the tree, we discovered the split in the trunk had progressively worsened. Thus, the decision was made to remove it immediately.

I ascended removing branches along the way after reaching about 70 feet. I cut down a 35-foot tree-top. Then I swung out, descended on my rope and started working on the second stem. Things were different in that the debris now had to land on the other side of the fence, in the Veterans' compound where the grounds keepers were working. Thus I lowered the small pieces on a lowering rope for safety and to prevent damaging the fence right below me. When I reached 57 feet or so, I cut my notch and let a 20 foot tree top fall. The final remaining stem I planned to bring down in even smaller pieces due to the fact of the workers crossing directly below in the drop zone. The situation then changed as the grounds workers left for lunch and my ground crew was waiting for me to finish and do the same. I decided to reach over, cut and drop the third stem's top. I checked that all was clear then cut the wedge and let it fall. As it tilted in the direction it was to fall, my safety rope pulled free from around a stub on the first stem falling into view and revealed what I hadn't been able to see before due to my helmet restricting my vision. My safety rope was tied around the falling stem. The falling tree-top, weighing around 300 to 400 pounds, was going to pull me to the ground from a height of approximately 60 feet. My immediate thought was to cut the rope with my chainsaw.

As fate would have it, my personal chainsaw had broken the Friday before. It had fallen off the locking clip, which seemed impossible, as there was no sensible way to explain how it had fallen. The new one I was given did not idle hence it wasn't running. If it had been my chainsaw, I would have been able to cut the rope as time seemed to have slowed down, which gave me time to respond. After weighing my options, I decided to jump into an adjacent tree in the direction I would be pulled, this seemed like the best course of action to avoid landing on the fence below. At that time I was not afraid, I knew I had attained the Fa, and I felt very calm and assured as everything was in Master's hands and that all would be fine. The other tree branches could not hold me with the weight of the top dragging me down as they snapped under the pressure. While falling through the air, my mind was clear, calm and trusting. I hit the ground

I landed well, missing the obstacles that littered the ground around me including the 46-inch chainsaw clipped on the right side of my belt. Miraculous is the word that best describes the way I landed on my left side even though the 40-pound saw weighed down my right hip. I felt no pain upon impact after falling almost 60 feet. I immediately tried to get up saying to my coworkers I was OK. They insisted I stay put. I sat up and struggled to remove my gear so as to stand up saying I was fine and I really felt well and not hurt. Again my grounds man stopped me from rising.

After 20 years of climbing, I fall out of a tree for the first time and it happened on the grounds of the Sunny Brook Hospital, which had been the place affected by SARS in Toronto. People had nicknamed it "SARS central". A male nurse was watching from the hospital window a few minutes away. Having seen all this, called 911 and rushed over to me. He asked me not to move and asked me where I was hurt. Somehow my thinking turned around at that second and then I noticed my arm was numb and difficult to move. I looked at it and said, "Yes". At that instant, as soon as I said "yes", I was hurt.

The Worst Turned Into The Best
Many severe injuries manifested. My diaphragm and spleen had ruptured; my internal organs had shifted and filled my chest cavity, collapsing my lungs. This was my first omission. I should have held firm on that first thought of a cultivator. Thankfully Master turned the worst into the best. Even before it received the call, an ambulance was already heading toward me. In about ten minutes after my fall, I was ushered into an available operating room in the busiest trauma center in Ontario. Again, miraculously, nine top surgeons were all just finishing their break when I was brought in. They immediately started to operate. My hip and arm bones were set in about twenty minutes. My spleen was removed and diaphragm repaired. My other injuries, a fractured pelvis, broken ribs, bruised lungs and damaged nerve in one arm were left to heal on their own.

One Body
I woke up in a heavily sedated state. Nevertheless, my first thought was, "I am a practitioner", and my mind became very clear. Even in that drugged state, I reaffirmed I was a practitioner. I thought of calling other practitioners. I knew that they had to be near me. I felt a kind of oppressive force like there was a negative field in that hospital maybe related to the SARS events of a few weeks earlier. It was as if the evil forces related to SARS were still present in that environment. I suddenly recalled a practitioner's number, which I had to always look it up before. Thankfully, when I needed it, there it was. I phoned a non-practitioner friend and gave him the practitioner's number to call.

Again I felt strong. The doctors were commenting on my miraculous recovery and I felt I was ready to go home. But the doctors wanted me to stay for observation. The next day, a test presented itself as a surgeon came to my bedside stating that my aorta was torn and they wanted to do an open-heart surgery. From deep inside my being I knew I was fine and that they should not operate and I told them this. But part of me was trying to measure risk bringing in thoughts like, it is too soon to operate and my lungs would not be able to sustain the operation. This was my human side's fear bringing in these thought making me at least in that instance, vulnerable. They insisted, proceeding to tell me how they would operate, explaining that there was little chance of survival if they did not. I said again that they should not operate and that I would be fine.

They went ahead and operated without my permission. The surgery just worsened my condition. The surgeons cut around my shoulder blade and under my arm spreading the ribs collapsing a lung to get at the aorta. Upon seeing it, they saw it was healed already. The doctor later told me that my body structure design is one in a million because of how the flesh around the aorta sealed the tear completely. How could an ordinary person explain it? He said normally one is dead in seconds. During the operation there had been other complications, as the one lung left for me to breathe could not sustain the body with the damage it had incurred. Maybe it was those thoughts of mine about my lungs not being able to sustain me through surgery becoming a reality. So my heart stopped and they had to manually massage it to get it working. They decided to stop the operation.

Things got worse as they put me on all kinds of alien machines. At one point, I had thirty machines connected to my body. The next complication was a severe case of pneumonia and then they induced a coma on me. With this my cultivation experiences in other dimensions began. They were all very vivid and I was fully aware who I was and that I was a Falun Dafa disciple. Many things happening in the human level were experiences and reflected in other dimensions. Before describing some of these, let me talk about the support I received from practitioners.

Right after learning about my situation, many practitioners had come and spent long hours by my side supporting me with righteous thoughts and reading to me around the clock. This 24-hour presence met with interference at the beginning. Their thoughts and the interference from the hospital staff trying to keep them away from me was reflected in various situations I experienced in other dimensions.

Pure And Righteous
In other dimensions I sensed I was in a battle with the evil, which was trying to keep practitioners away from me. I knew they were not letting them close to me, but that could not stop us. I was still meeting with them for reading. I went to them many times to listen to the Fa. There was pressure to stop this and practitioners told me about it in other dimensions and I experienced it the following ways. Each time we wanted to meet the hospital staff would obstruct by putting us in difficult surroundings and limit the time. I had to go further and further to meet with them and was exposed to cold weather elements.

The turning point came about on the third day. This time my fellow practitioners and I met to read on an open balcony at night exposed to the bitter cold and wind. As I looked down at my arms and chest, I could see they were swollen up so much at least double their normal size. In addition, practitioners told me that I had severe pneumonia. These are things I should not have been able to know as I was in a coma. One practitioner told me that the evil beings were trying to keep them away but that, as cultivators, we have our own ways to deal with that. One other practitioner moved toward me and wrapped her long winter coat around me at that moment. I felt it as feathers on an angel wing sheltering me from the cold. They began to read Zhuan Falun to me. My heart became pure, my mind righteous, my voice rose proclaiming strongly "I am a Fa-rectification Dafa Disciple! I am here to help save sentient beings and you, evil beings cannot stop me. As soon as these words came out, from deep within the core of my being, arose the most powerful force I have ever felt. Radiating from every pore it grew more and more intense. As I tensed my body, I felt a shift in my surroundings and I let the full force loose. As I let it out I could hear the hospital building creak and grown under this immense force and felt it shake to its foundations. With these righteous thoughts the tide changed.

One practitioner was reassuring me saying, "I am you, you are me." I saw him becoming me and promising to take care of my mother. My mother, a new practitioner at the time might have been worried about me and this was weighing on me. I felt this pressure removed from me. Months later, when I was out of the hospital I told this practitioner about this experience and asked if it meant anything to him. He explained how he had gone to group study and said to everyone there; M.'s problem is my problem. Those righteous thoughts and his thinking of others first were strong enough to reach me in other dimensions. In some instances, I caught a glimpse or sensed practitioners who came to support me without a question in their hearts, and saw their level shooting up. It made me very happy.

A Lesson in Compassion
One other experience in other dimensions I had was another instance of how other practitioners' thoughts were affecting me in other dimensions. One time I found myself tied in a crucified position surrounded by millions of people all judging me and accusing me of things I knew I had not done. I felt so sad for them saying such terrible things about a cultivator and I felt my compassion for them grow. They were building this ivory tower with me on its pinnacle making it higher and higher. As their torrents of insults rose my heart seemed to widen with compassion for all of them. With this the tower grew so tall reaching to the sky that I seemed miles above the earth.. Then a practitioner appeared in front of me questioning my worthiness, was I a good practitioner, was all of this my doing. My attachment to what other practitioners thought of me seemed to be hit upon and suddenly my heart narrowed and so did my compassion. I felt my focus change to proving my worthiness. With this search in mind, I leapt from the tower, flying down looking for things to prove myself. As I was descending, Zhuan Falun appeared with a two-inch tall practitioner standing on it. After a few words he then began to read me the Fa. As I listened my mind became calm and rational, my emotion subsided and out of that, clarity compassion again surfaced. I started thinking of these practitioners judging me and felt compassion for them and the attachment to what my peers thought of me dissolved. Suddenly, I was surrounded by practitioners all embracing me and they were so happy for me. The group of practitioners parted one side so the practitioner who exposed my attachment could usher in my family who all had beaming smiles. I have never seen them so happy. All of them were saying how wonderful practitioners are, and Falun Dafa is good. Tears began to run down my face, I was so happy for my family. Previously, they had a wrong understanding of Dafa and the concept of cultivation was too foreign to them. Moreover my brother had been poisoned from hate propaganda on the Internet, which then had spread throughout the family. I was so relieved as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Months later when I was out of the coma, the practitioner who exposed my attachment said he did indeed voice a similar opinion. In retrospect, my attachment had played a role in drawing out that criticism and its reflection in other dimensions as I experienced, it showed me the power of compassion and made me aware of how important it is to have righteous thoughts about others. As for the practitioner who appeared two inches tall standing on Zhuan Falun, reading the Fa to me, he explained that when he read to me in the hospital room, so the reading would not go to my assistant consciousness the idea to ask Master to please have the reading go to my main conscience had occurred to him. Of course, that is exactly what happened. More than once he thankfully appeared on Zhuan Falun at times when I was irrational and distressed, or going through a test and needed it. As for my family, when I came out of the induced coma, and each came to see me, the first words they said to me were, how wonderful practitioners are. My brother, who was poisoned before, had actually turned around and even read Zhuan Falun to me and used expressions like he is in the Fa now. Again tears of joy ran down my face. Thank you Master, thank you Dafa Dizi.

Fearful Visions
With all the visions I saw, it felt as if I had lived many months in other dimensions. During these experiences my attachments were revealed. One in particular that was hit hard was my fear. When afraid, I was far from the Fa. The world where I was then seemed distorted and warped, and those in the world could not see how incorrect the state of things is. I longed for the Fa, I remember trying to reach Zhuan Falun but it was just out of reach, and a thought came to my mind at that time that if I got a chance to again learn the Fa I would study as much as possible. Without the Fa there was disorderly chaos and misery and in the FA all was perfected. The stronger my fear, the worse things got. When I let go of the fear, I would finally be able to concentrate and look inside, and try to recite "Lunyu." When the fear was let go, I could remember the Fa and the Fa strengthened me, all things in that world returned to righteousness.

A Place To Rest
One time I was rising up towards the heavens. I seemed to be passing through layers; it was like going through thresholds or vales. At a certain level, I stopped and experienced being physically stuck and felt how attachments were literally like threads, some woven so thick it was similar to cloth gluing me to the substances at that level. As I struggled to free myself, I saw a practitioner who was free and others who were all, to various degrees, covered. I could not force myself out of it, until words of encouragement from this practitioner who was free telling me to look inside and let go somehow caused me to be free again and rising along with this practitioner. Then, we passed another layer where odd looking beings were surrounding a circular hole that looked like a window in the sky, working all kinds of controls and levers they were so intent on what was below them and so feverishly manipulating things, that they did not see us at all. We went higher and passed more layers entering a very beautiful world, with trees so huge they must have been thousands of years old, with rolling grasslands, meandering streams and an ancient forest bordering an open field. It looked unspoiled and we were with other practitioners there. It was very peaceful and welcoming.

Months later when the practitioner who encouraged me came to see me she said she wanted to apologize. She told me that once when she was by my bedside seeing me surrounded by machines, holding my hand she asked me in her mind to go up with her where my body was whole and complete. She was visualizing bringing me up when a nurse had come in and asked her to move away. She was apologizing for letting that nurse interfere with her bringing me up. I relayed the experience I had and told her that we actually managed to get to that wonderful realm. So there was no need for apologies.

After I came out of the coma, I could not speak due to some damage caused to a nerve and I could only listen. It would be a couple of months before I could communicate so not to forget all I experienced, I would keep going over everything in my mind making sure I would remember.

Suffering for Lack of Compassion
During my two-month torment, one nurse in particular treated me very badly in the human and other dimensions. She also treated other practitioners badly. When practitioners would read to me that nurse would interfere and drug me constantly. She should not be treating a Dafa disciple this way I thought. Any time someone was there, she would sedate me and when I was unconscious I was put through agonizing torments in other dimensions. One time, I was tied up in a tree, which was set to slowly burn. My impulse was to fight back but I resisted it, as the thought of being a practitioner would emerge. There were others in the burning tree and I thought I must be free to save these people, then I became free. So, the answer that ended those terrible ordeals always was righteous thoughts, and thinking of others first. It was months later that I realized this: I had labeled her as evil. Instead of thinking that it might be a karmic relationship or sending righteous thought to eliminate the evil that was using her, I felt no compassion for her at all. Those months of trials showed me, compassion was always the answer. It was my selfish narrow views that caused the suffering. Often in the hospital I was stuck on selfishness, concerned with my own suffering and what I wanted. I had even pulled out the tube from my throat numerous times thinking it was a righteous thing to do as I am a Dafa practitioner and I should not be in the hospital. But looking back, I was not acting as a practitioner as I did not consider how others could be affected by this act. As a practitioner I should always think of others first

Greatness Manifested
Practitioners came to support this particle of Dafa as one body. First one practitioner knew unquestionably what she was to do so she organized a schedule so that there would be a righteous field around me at all times when I was unconscious. She would read to me for hours and at one time she even read for 18 hours in one stretch. Such selflessness is remarkable. Practitioners cleared the field in the hospital that had been a SARS central a month earlier. Their unwavering righteous mindset that I would be fine, comforted my family and showed the quality of Dafa disciples. They were like an island of calm in that sea of grief in the waiting room. When the doctors would say their dire prognoses my family and friends would break down to then be lifted by the compassionate reassurance of practitioners that I would be fine. The righteous field was so strong that even my friends who lived far away also knew that I would be fine. The doctors and nurses had never seen anything like our practitioners before, staying there around the clock sending righteous thoughts and reading to me. They all got to know the truth about Dafa and some were very interested and wanted to read the book. The goodness was recognized even by the minister who requested to keep Zhuan Falun in her chapel.She was very impressed with the practice and practitioners. So much time was spent there by the practitioners that a deep understanding and respect developed by the hospital staff, my friends, and family.

Practitioners have told me how this had affected them. I think we all learned a lot. I spent three months in hospitals. Practitioners continued to come even when I could read myself. They came bringing Chinese chicken soup made with essence of their compassion, which gave me so much strength. I was practically running around the hospital. Staff and patients alike marveled at my quick recovery. Sometimes when it was difficult with the staff and family focusing on the physical limitations, practitioners would visit and it was like a light was turned on inside me, and my resolve was solidified. All the grace you showed helped me through. I would like to thank all of you, and I would like to also thank Master for the merciful recovery and everything that he has done for me.

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