PureInsight | September 26, 2005
[PureInsight.org] This topic of mine is caused by a fellow practitioner who wants to divorce his wife. I'd like to share some of my experience here. In the past, I was very similar to this practitioner's wife in terms of smoking, drinking, prolonged chatting, playing video games, and things even worse than that. I was addicted to those mundane things and couldn't break away from them. Later on I met my future husband, who had started practicing Falun Dafa years ago. It was his righteous thoughts and righteous actions that have changed me.
When we first met, I also read Falun Dafa books, but I did merely for the sake of maintaining our relationship. After we got married, his job kept him very busy. Every day he had to get up very early and he came home very late. After he got home, he had to cook the dinner, do the dishes and the laundry… I, on the other hand, stayed home all day but would do no housework at all. I would spoil myself at home by playing video games, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and getting into many other bad habits too shameful to tell. Even so, I looked down upon him. I often yelled at him, and was bad to him. But he never complained. He was never angry, let alone yelling at me. He just treated me nicely regardless of how badly I treated him.
One day I told him I was moving out, and that I was going to such and such bad things outside. He gave me 90 percent of his savings and told me that a person should just marry once. He told me many principles of being a human being, and added that, if I became bored outside, I could come back anytime, and he would always live by himself without looking for another woman. And moreover, he said he would send me money every month to support me. I ended up staying. There were many similar incidents. Each time something like that happened, he never became angry. Instead he treated me kindly and kept telling me how a human being should conduct himself. He was always nice to me like this. I feel, the "nice" was compassion and being responsible. I indeed have felt it from him. It was not sentiment. Sentiment is selfish and won't last long, while compassion is eternal, and can melt away any elements that are not upright.
Gradually I felt I should treat him better and stop being bad to him, because, after all, he had given so much to me. I started to try to hold down my bad moods and try my best to hold my temper. When I had some time, I would read Falun Dafa books a little, and try to follow Falun Dafa's requirements to restrain the bad elements in me. Gradually, I found I had changed. I stopped losing my temper easily and stopped doing whatever I wanted. I stopped drinking and smoking and playing video games. I had new views on life. I found I became so relaxed after I got rid of those bad elements and wasn't controlled by them any more. I was so happy to find myself. I'm truly grateful to Dafa, Teacher, and my husband.
For the past three years, I've changed into an almost totally different person, indeed. Now I still do very limited amounts of housework and cooking, but I have indeed changed. I've learned to understand others and consider others first, and much more.
Here I'd like to share something with my fellow practitioners: As a man, one should understand the word "responsibility," let alone your wife has committed the rest of her life to your care, so you should take this responsibility. Moreover, as a Dafa practitioner, I think the word "responsibility" is not enough, and there should be "compassion." A practitioner should use compassion to melt away any elements that are not upright, and use the righteous field cultivated from Dafa to melt away any fields that are not righteous. If you were always compassionate to her, kind to her, and not hope for anything for return, if you were always like this, I think even a rock would cry. It would be moved by you and start doing better from within. It was like this that my husband has influenced me to a better way of life. Don't be frustrated. I believe you will be able to change your environment. Be sure not to go to extremes, as it will only harm you. The sentient beings are waiting for us to save them! Waste no time in becoming diligent!