PureInsight | August 24, 2009
Experience Sharing at the 2009 Washington, D.C. Fa Conference
[PureInsight.org] I obtained Dafa after I came to the United States in 1997. Under our great Master’s merciful protection, I have walked my path of cultivation over the past twelve years. Looking back on my cultivation journey, I realize that upgrading my cultivation after each step means to melt into the Fa and be diligent because of the great burden Master bears. Therefore, I doubly cherish the great mercy and Buddha's infinite grace from the beginning of heaven and earth. Now I will share my experiences on the road of Fa-rectification cultivation over the past seven years in Washington DC. Please kindly point out if anything that is not within the Fa.
1. Letting Go of Self and Walking My Own Path While Validating the Fa
In 2002, my family of four moved to Washington DC. Local practitioners told me that several Dafa practitioner-run medias urgently needed reporters and hoped that I would join in that capacity for a number of reasons, including that I did not work, could drive, and could speak English. What held me back was my lack of self-confidence, thinking that I was introverted and was not amiable to being in the spotlight. I was not good at communicating with strangers, had not done any interviews, and knew nothing about producing television programs. Therefore, I excused myself by claiming to be busy with other projects. Later on, I realized that it was not accidental that I came to Washington DC. I should blend into this cultivation environment, be immersed into the D.C. practitioner’s one body and let go of myself. After taking the plunge, I realized that it wasn’t as bad as I had imagined.
The first report I did was about a mainstream society activity. Arriving at the event, I suddenly and unexpectedly felt sad and wanted to cry. Attending that evening’s banquet were several hundred government officials that could not be contacted for clarifying the truth about Falun Gong and the brutal persecution. A deep feeling of mercy filled my mind and I wished in my heart for an opportunity to talk to them. I felt deep compassion that came from a pure heart and benevolence without thinking of repayment. It was midnight when I got back home. I worked hard and rewrote and corrected my writings in the hope to produce a good news report. It was early morning when I finished the television news and newspaper report. That night, I learned that many things that appeared complex and difficult were manageable. I experienced the wonders and mighty powers of Falun Dafa.
With righteous belief in Master and Dafa, I became familiar with the media operations and improved from knowing nothing to being a seasoned reporter. I have walked on the road of Fa-rectification cultivation for seven years. When we let go of self and think only of helping Master save sentient beings, Master will give us wisdom.
One time I attended a Washington-based forum. The theme was the rise of China. In attendance were several hundred people, including media reporters, diplomats from a number of countries and U.S. policy makers. I couldn't help thinking that I must tell these people about the real China. At that time, the Nine Commentaries (Jiu Ping) had been out for one year, and more than six million people had quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. When the question and answer session was announced, I raised my hand immediately. Although I sat in the back row, I was the first to ask a question. I briefly introduced the Nine Commentaries that was published by the Epoch Times and its reason for publication and then asked: “A moment ago, an expert said that the CCP is facing several crises, and one of them is an unpredictable crisis. Then, does quitting the CCP and its affiliated organizations occurring in China belong to this crisis?” Several of the speakers, avoided this topic, but some showed quite some interest. Anyway, they had to acknowledge that this was a good question. Unexpectedly, afterwards other reporters also raised questions about the crisis the CCP was facing.
Another time, the Polish president visited the White House. At that time, two fellow practitioners hoped that they could present the Polish version of the Nine Commentaries to that president but missed the opportunity. By chance, a reporter from the New Tang Dynasty Television (NTDTV) and I were on site during a conference where the Polish president spoke. We asked his opinion about the wave of quitting the CCP and its organizations in China. After that, a Polish television reporter interviewed me and asked me why I asked that question. I said because this is happening in today’s China and your president said, “Today in Poland and tomorrow in China.”
Another time, a western practitioner made an appointment with the Washington DC town council president and interviewed him about a bill that just passed the legislature. Arriving in his office, I thought that it would be great if I had a chance to clarify the truth to him about Falun Gong and the persecution. After the interview, he asked about Falun Gong. This gave me the opening to tell him about Falun Dafa and the brutal persecution, the atrocities happening and that the CCP was persecuting fellow practitioners in China. After hearing that, he showed his anger at the CCP’s brutalities.
With giving up attachments, the road widens, and becomes increasingly smoother. I find more chances to meet people from all walks of life. This is a powerful tool that supplements our fellow practitioners’ face-to-face truth clarification. Professional and timely reports also make a good impression on everyday people and increase the approval rating of the media Dafa practitioners run. Some Dafa activity coordinators sent the Epoch Times newspaper to other countries' embassy officials in the United States and to businessmen who attended the different Dafa activities. This lets more people in the mainstream society know about our media. During all these years, I made many friends because of my interviews. So many people know the truth to varying degrees and there are so many people who have come to watch Shen Yun Performing Arts.
(2) Believing in Master and the Fa Helps Me Surmount All Ordeals
With being able to do things ever more smoothly, I developed the attachment of just doing that kind of work. I always wanted to attend more activities. Thus, I spent less time on studying the Fa and sometimes, it was difficult for me to concentrate when studying the Fa. I became lax in my xinxing cultivation, which created a loophole and was taken advantage of by the evil. One day in October 2003, when I was walking on the street holding my one-year old baby, I unexpectedly fell down. The baby was thrown far away and his head hit the road heavily. My legs were excruciatingly painful and I couldn't move. Several kindhearted passersby came to help us.
The baby was fine, but my right anklebone was fractured. The lower part of my legs were swollen and turned black. At that time, I felt great pressure. On the one hand, I endured the severe pain. On the other hand, my media reporting activities were affected and I grew very anxious. The greater my anxiety, the lesser the changes for the better, and soon, two weeks had passed. My family member who was not a Dafa practitioner urged me to go to a hospital. A fellow practitioner also suggested that I see a Chinese medicine doctor. I was of two minds and so I went to a Chinese medicine hospital. The Chinese medicine doctor told me after taking an X-ray that he had never seen such a serious bone fracture. He suggested that I go to a hospital and have surgery immediately. The fog in my mind finally lifted, and I decided that I would just believe in Master and Dafa.
After returning home, I decided to stand up. I tried and fell down repeatedly. I told myself, “I came for the Fa. It is my responsibility to help Master rectify the Fa and save people. How can I save people if I can't stand up?” Finally, I could stand up. However, because the anklebone was fractured, the bone dislocated as soon as I moved and I felt excruciating pain. I tried my best not to experience the pain and just gritted my teeth together. Then, after a while I could walk, a little better the more I tried. Through this, I was actively validating the Fa. This continued for more than one month. This helped my family member, not a Dafa practitioner, witness the miracle of Falun Dafa, but I also was given a very profound lesson.
Although I have cultivated for many years, facing this sudden tribulation, I now realize that I was not clear from the perspective of the Fa at that time. But, I was certain that I believed in Master and the Fa completely. At the same time, I realized that cultivation is serious. Only when cultivating well are we qualified to validate the Fa. Otherwise, if our cultivation is not on an even keel, we are far away from saving people.
(3) Looking Inward Unconditionally at Work
In 2005, I began to work as a full-time reporter in a non-Dafa media center, which has quite some influence on Mainland Chinese. As I had stated in my resume that I was a reporter at the Epoch Times, almost everyone knew that I practiced Falun Gong. On the first day, a colleague asked me to look at his area. He had hung Master's picture on the wall. I said silently to Master in my heart, “Master, please feel relieved. I will do well in this environment. Let the predestined people understand the truth and see the beauty of Dafa.”
About 80 percent of my colleagues are Chinese. Many did not know the truth about Falun Gong and the brutal persecution. I could feel it from their attitude towards me. I tried my best to watch every one of my words and actions while at work, always looked within and displayed the demeanor of a Dafa practitioner at all times.
When I met a co-worker who sat across from my cubicle, he told me that he was from Changchun. I told him that I’m also from that city. He was very happy to chat with me. Alas, the minute I told him that I practiced Falun Gong he became mad and trembled. He told me that he saw us when interviewing in many places and then he became foul-mouthed. Realizing that he lost his senses, I was certain his mind was closed at that time. I silently sent forth righteous thoughts towards him until he calmed down. After that, another colleague told me: “I asked him to apologize to you. Seeing that she cultivates Truth-Compassion-Forbearance, and not just by saying the words, I must tell you that you can't push her around like that.” Later on, I told him many facts about Falun Gong. His attitude changed and he apologized.
Another time, a colleague told me that one of our colleagues bad-mouthed Falun Gong and thought that I was also strange. This colleague defended me. I realized that it was not accidental that I heard this. I looked within and realized that I hadn’t participated in any group activities she organized. One reason is that I do not like eating or drinking. Moreover, I thought that what everyone talked about is useless and wastes time. But, I hadn’t considered it from her angle. A few days later, she organized our Christmas party and I put my name on the list. She was surprised. I realized that it must have been my attitude that created her wrong understanding of me. During lunch, my colleagues spoke of the pain and persecution they suffered during the Great Cultural Revolution. On leaving the restaurant, everyone felt bewildered. Originally, it was organized as a happy holiday event, then why did everyone discuss this topic? I was very clear. Dafa practitioners' thoughts also affect everyday people in their environment. Listening to the misery they had suffered, I thought that perhaps this was giving them a foot in the door to hear the truth and thus come closer to Dafa. That most likely was the reason that they experienced these pains. I reminded myself that I cherished these valuable lives. I must not be the catalyst that prevents them from being saved because of my conduct.
In an annual evaluation, our team received a low score. The team leader blamed everyone, including me. I was a little upset. I thought, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Now, you blame me when there are problems.” I was upset, because the low score would interfere with my clarifying the truth. They might think now that I am not a good employee. Later, I calmed down, and looked inward. I discovered that I had a strong attachment to showing off, fame and fighting. So, I told the team leader that I was responsible for the low score and I needed to improve. The next day, the team leader baked a cake for me. A few days later, the supervisor told me that he would increase my salary, and not to tell anyone. Because of this, I finally understood that we should look inward unconditionally. If we do so, we will find our attachments, and will be able to purify ourselves and save people.
I had been validating the Fa full-time after the persecution began. I was used to a busy schedule. When I came to the non-Dafa working environment, I found that non-practitioners work was so easy. I had a lot of time for studying the Fa. I felt good at the beginning. But later my workload increased and I didn’t have time for Dafa related work. A few days later, the supervisor asked me if I wanted to change my working hours, to start early in the morning and get off early too. I was happy to accept that position. I know that it was Master’s arrangement, because Master saw my wish. Now, I start work at 4 a.m. and leave at noon. I again have sufficient time for doing Dafa related work. It has been like this for several years and I let go of the attachment to comfort.
In 2006, the CCP’s harvesting of organs from living Falun Gong practitioners was exposed. Practitioners in Washington D.C. held a series of activities. My task was to report on the activities. I needed to go to the activities right after I left work and had to write many reports. I could not sleep for several days, and my regular work all of sudden became heavier. Sometime, I was not done when it was time to leave the office. I felt stressed out. One day, I was very tired physically and mentally and started to complain. But then, I thought of fellow practitioners in China. They are imprisoned and suffer sleep deprivation for long periods of time. Yet, they are doing well in such a harsh environment. How can I complain about my situation? Shouldn’t I have some suffering and lessen their burden? After I adjusted my thinking, I no longer felt tired. Once I let go of my attachment, the miracle happened. My team leader told me that because of mishaps in coordinating, I had been doing a two-person job. Now, since they realized what happened, they corrected the problem. What a relief! My regular tasks were reduced drastically. Now, it takes no more than two or three hours to get my work done. This was really just like, "After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!"
It caused quite a few arguments in my office when a fellow practitioner shouted at the Chinese envoy during a White House press conference. Even my team leader, who is always nice to me, said, “We cannot let Falun Gong work here.” Then, he realized that he shot off his mouth and told me, “I was not talking about you.” But I was still very upset and felt that this was rather unfair. I had worked so hard to clarify the truth. But now all my efforts were in vain and I thought about quitting. But then I thought, “Even if I quit, they still don’t know the truth. Shouldn’t I try my best to save them? What should they pay more attention to? A fellow practitioner shouting during a White House press conference or the CCP’s harvesting organs? Which one should be condemned?” I found that my heart was moved by those who still don’t know the truth, and I almost walked on the path arranged by the old evil forces. I realized that the problem is not with a fellow practitioner’s action, but with those who don’t know the truth. After I adjusted my thoughts, although I didn’t do anything openly, the environment changed. My co-workers started asking me about the organ harvesting. Some asked about Falun Gong and the supervisor smiled when seeing me. I realized that my environment actually is created by my heart. No matter what I hear or see, I need to look within and base all my actions and words on my purpose, which is saving people. Only if I can do that, will I not get confused. A few days later, I was transferred to a different news group, and was assigned to an important task. I knew the supervisors trusted me and the negative impact of the shouting incident was eliminated.
After a few years, many of my coworkers held a positive impression of me. Many of them asked me for the facts about Falun Gong. Some of them borrowed Dafa books and some of them learned the exercises. They had noticed that I do so many things, but still was energetic.
Master said in “Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference:”
“When I teach the Fa infrequently though, what worries me most is not the hardships or ordeals you face, which you know to be plenty hard. They are not the hardest thing; after all, however trying hardship may be, it's over after you get through it, and at that point things are clear to you. Rather, to quietly cultivate in bleak loneliness, unable to see hope, is the hardest of all. Doing any form of cultivation entails undergoing a trial such as this and a path with such features. Only if one can persevere and continually forge ahead does it amount to true diligence. It's easy to talk about, but putting it into action is tremendously difficult. That is why it's said that always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank.”
From Master’s words, I realized the damage I caused due to my slacking off. I became involved in coordinating the work at the Epoch Times. When fellow practitioners blamed me, complained about me, when I handled difficult conflicts, when I learned about the financial problems, when we were short of manpower and when I lost hope and felt stressed out, I wanted to give up. Two months ago, fellow practitioners shared their understanding. We all believed that we needed to do well in the Epoch Times work. I corrected my thinking after that. Although we are still short of manpower, we collaborate with each other well and encourage each other, instead of complaining about each other. Over the following two months, our financial situation improved and we came out of the red. We realized that what Master wants us to do is to strive forward diligently in the bleak, lonely and hopeless environment. If we can do that, we can make the environment better because Master and the Fa can help us.
Fellow practitioners, we have been waiting for today for millions of years. Let us strive forward diligently together and form one body. Let’s cherish this precious chance and fulfill our vows. Let’s walk the rest of the journey with righteous thoughts and not betray Master’s benevolent salvation.
Thank you, Master. Thank you everyone.