PureInsight | March 4, 2019
In order to complete a project, two coordinators invited two older female practitioners to my home. Because I was living in the region temporarily, there were a lot of practitioners I hadn't met before, and I didn't know a lot of practitioners. Upon seeing these two fellow practitioners, I was very happy. There is no need for introductions between fellow practitioners; when they arrived we got to work immediately. We exhanged experiences while we worked and had a good time; three, four days passed by very quickly. Through the efforts of the five of us, we smoothly completed the project.
While sharing with the practitioners, a lot of my attachments were exposed. Especially when sharing with the two older practitioners, the attachment to "self" was extremely apparent. Before they had said much, I had already said a lot. But I did not say anything about my shortcomings, nor was there anything about me looking inside. Everything I talked about was from the past—how I had strong righteous thoughts, how I coordinated well with others, how often I sent forth righteous thoughts, how well fellow practitioners from my region treated me. I talked about how I clarified the truth during my hearing and was released unconditionally... Basically, all my feats of righteous thoughts and actions. Afterwards, I did know to feel regretful, but I had indeed said those things. It was the attachment to self that was acting up. Those events are all from several years ago. Sometimes they come out on their own, but I don't realize it, and even think that it's pretty good. It had already become thought karma. Sometimes I think, after so many years of persecution, I have no shortcomings. No matter how pressuring or trying the environment was, I never wrote a guarantee to stop practicing. I felt elated about this, to the point that my heart wasn't even still. In fact, without protection from Master, we cannot even guarantee our own safety, much less talk about cultivation. I know myself that everything is the work of Master, it’s just the attachment to self that was coming out. "Attachment to self" also reveals itself out in showing off my children. When the topic of my children come up, I will unwittingly talk about how smart and filial they are, etc, in the end saying how much I put in for them and how well I educated them. This persistent attachment to self makes me very ashamed to face Master. Today I'm further looking within and exposing these things through writing about them in order to eliminate them and reject them, thereby not giving them a foothold.
This was even a part during the conversation where when practitioner B said she was a retired teacher, upon guessing correctly what grade she taught, I said abruptly, "You see, I can just tell!" Later practitioner A informed me about this. I was also very surprised. After saying those things, I hadn't known, and was even unable to realize the issue. This means that the attachment is too strong. It had already gained controlled my mind so as to affect my speech; that is so scary! I will now emphasize getting rid of this attachment by watching my every word and thought. As soon as a thought appears, I will check to see whether it is showing off or putting myself on a pedestal, and correct it in a timely manner. I can't continue to hold onto it without letting go! At the same time, I must emphasize sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate this attachment. "Attachment to self" is strongly connected to the attachment to showing off. It is also easy to look down on others, thus developing jealousy.
I really gained a lot from this small gathering of practitioners. When we study the Fa together in the evening, fellow practitioner A never misreads a single word. When reading two lectures of Zhuan Falun straight, she is able to sit in double lotus without budging. This older practitioner doesn't say much, but everything she says is on the Fa. She also has a very nimble mind. She knows whenever someone says things that stray from the Fa, and is able to recall Master's requirements from the Fa. But when I study the Fa I don't hold myself to requirements; I don't like double lotus, so I pursue comfort and just do single lotus.
Both fellow practitioners are veteran practitioners from before "seven twenty" (July 20, 1999), but they did not say anything about how well they used to do. As to all veteran practitioners who have remained firm and maintained being diligent to this day, who has done a small amount of things? It’s just that they're not attached. Through comparing myself with fellow practitioners, I found that my xinxing lagged far behind in many areas. Yet in front of fellow practitioners I was showing myself off. I really am so ashamed! This small gathering with fellow practitioners was really a meticulous arrangement by Master. It was for me to see my shortcomings and to expose this enormous attachment so as to cultivate it away. I had known about this attachment in the past, but I didn't know how serious it was. Today I am bringing it out and exposing it to the body of fellow practitioners to eradicate it and not give it a place to hide. Only by cultivating myself well can I have a strong field of righteous thoughts, can I cooperate better with fellow practitioners, and can more things be accomplished with less effort. Before I finished writing this sharing, I saw, to my surprise, that Minghui.org had published Master's new lecture. I now have a clearer understanding of the importance of cultivating myself well. The Fa Rectification is now at its final stage. This further increases the importance of Dafa disciples' personal cultivation, otherwise one will not be able to keep up with the Fa-Rectification. Master said in 2018 NTD and Epoch Times Fa Conference, “And so cultivation should be first and foremost for you—for every Dafa practitioner involved in the media. That’s because how well you cultivate yourselves determines your power to save people as well as the effectiveness of your work. This is for sure." As a disciple, I will definitely heed Master's words by working hard on my cultivation, strictly emphasizing xinxing improvement, and letting go and walking out from the whirlpool of the attachment to self, and meeting the standards for a cultivator. My wish is that Master has more consolation and less worries.
Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners! Please correct anything inappropriate! Heshi!
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/247757