PureInsight | November 21, 2025
[PureInsight.org] During my twenty-seven years of cultivation, I had always thought that I did not have any fundamental attachments. At the beginning, when I stepped into Dafa cultivation, it was with the thought that Dafa could heal illnesses. But after reading Zhuan Falun once, I understood that Dafa is cultivation, it is for people to return to their true selves. So, when I compared myself with Master’s teachings on fundamental attachments, I thought that I did not have such human attachments. Therefore, whenever I came across Master’s lectures on the fundamental attachment, I would just skim past them, never truly searching within to see if I had any fundamental attachments.
Yet in recent years, during cultivation, I have often felt that there is some issue—something I could not explain clearly or figure out. I always felt as if there was some kind of barrier between myself and Dafa. But what exactly was the problem with me? I could not understand no matter how much I pondered. I repeatedly asked myself, but could not find any clear answer.
Since moving into my daughter’s home last year, I have often felt that in this new environment, there are constant frictions with her family. Especially in my relationship with my daughter, it was always complicated to handle. My daughter often said to me, “When you look at an issue or a person, you always first look for the other person’s problems. Especially toward familiar people and matters, you don’t pay attention to their good points, and instead you magnify their shortcomings. Then, the more you look, the more unhappy you become. Why can’t you look more at other people’s good points?” Hearing my daughter’s words, I calmed down and thought: That’s true! I asked myself, why can’t I look more at others’ good points? What is the root cause? Why do I often exaggerate when I speak? Following this line of thought, I searched further. Before cultivation, the first half of my life was extremely bitter. Growing up in a special family environment, I constantly blamed myself for having bad luck, having lost the love of my biological parents when I was young. Living with my foster parents, I developed the habit of only seeing their faults, without cherishing the good things I received from them. I resented heaven and earth all day long, harbored resentment toward them, and at the same time, in order to please them, I developed the mentality of trying to curry favor. I never had a single day of true happiness.
After beginning cultivation, in terms of improving my xinxing, I worked hard to restrain myself. I tried not to dwell on past rights and wrongs with my family, and only wanted to remember the good things they had done for me. I thought that only by cultivating myself well could I truly be worthy of my deceased relatives. Because of this, I came to view the suffering I had endured before cultivation with a much lighter heart. Yet, in my mind, past events would still come up unintentionally, and in my heart I would still feel somewhat indignant, still resentful of my difficult fate. Especially when similar situations arose—others would receive care from those around them, while I received very little, or even none at all.
Since moving into my daughter’s home last year, I have often seen her family of four living a carefree life, with my daughter receiving affection from all the relatives around her. My heart would start to churn again. Why is that? How can others live such a happy life? Why is my life still so difficult? Why do I live amid constant complaints? Thinking back to issues I have encountered in Fa-study with fellow practitioners over these years—upon closer reflection today, weren’t they also caused by me always looking at others’ shortcomings? Weren’t fellow practitioners’ incorrect behaviors arranged by Master for me to use as opportunities to cultivate myself? Yet how many such chances for improvement have I missed? Fellow practitioners are like mirrors that can reflect my own shortcomings. But why could I only see their shortcomings, often feeling indignant in my heart? Sometimes I would even rather avoid and escape, instead of seizing the opportunity to look inward and cultivate myself.
Reflecting on my past behavior and comparing it with Master’s lectures, I searched within: Isn’t my habit of looking for others’ faults just like the old forces? The old forces only want to change others and not themselves, and are destined to be eliminated by the Fa-rectification. Isn’t my mindset of looking outward, trying to “cultivate others,” exactly what the old forces want? Haven’t I unknowingly walked the path arranged by the old forces?
Then why did I end up walking the old forces’ path? I searched deeper. When I saw others’ faults and felt indignant, why did I also feel resentment in my heart? Before cultivation, I resented my birth parents for being so heartless as to abandon me and give me away. I resented my foster parents for their lack of love, which deprived me of childhood happiness. After starting cultivation, I resented my family members for not supporting my Fa-study and practice. I resented my daughter for lacking filial piety. I resented my husband for not understanding me. I resented fellow practitioners for not being able to communicate harmoniously with me. So much resentment—wasn’t it all born of human attachments? I searched deeper still: Why, after twenty-seven years of cultivation, do these human attachments still exist? What have I been struggling so bitterly for? Then it suddenly struck me: Isn’t it all because I have been longing for a happy and blissful human life? What is “longing for a happy human life”? Isn’t it the attachment buried deep in my heart for so many years? Isn’t this my fundamental attachment? No wonder, after twenty-seven years of cultivation, my path has been full of stumbling—sometimes diligent, sometimes not. No wonder I have been unable to handle people and matters with the mindset of a cultivator. It was precisely this fundamental attachment that was blocking my diligence, preventing me from truly looking inward unconditionally, from truly cultivating myself well.
Today, I have uncovered this attachment in my heart. I want to expose it, to cultivate it away. When sending forth righteous thoughts, I send a powerful thought toward this attachment of “longing for a happy and blissful human life”: “I don’t want you, this human attachment. I am a Dafa disciple. I only want what Master has given me.”
Here, I also want to say to my daughter: Thank you! Thank you, Master, for arranging for my daughter to help me uncover my fundamental attachment. And thank you as well to my daughter, to all the ordinary people around me, and to fellow practitioners. After I uncovered my fundamental attachment, the bathroom in our home—which had been leaking for a long time—suddenly stopped leaking. I knew then that I had found the right issue. Thank you, compassionate Master, for not giving up on this disciple who has not lived up to expectations. Today, I was able to discover my fundamental attachment, and it is entirely the result of many years of memorizing the Fa. From now on, I will certainly cultivate well, eliminate this fundamental attachment, and be ever more diligent. I must continue to memorize the Fa, cultivate my xinxing, do the three things well, fulfill my vows, and save more people.
Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/298580
