PureInsight | November 3, 2003
[PureInsight.org] The most challenging aspect of my life at this point is balancing two worlds. Balancing my relationship, job, friends, family, society and being a Dafa practitioner is the biggest challenge of my life. I feel I am finally making progress in this. I've had more peace of mind and feeling more harmonious than I've ever had. Why that is happening is that I have gotten better at letting things flow naturally - no expectations. I don't get upset over the small stuff anymore and less so with the big stuff. Knowing that everything is in order and not fighting the river but flowing with the river has made the difference. Looking back when my husband and I were having problems, I now clearly see how my human notions and sentimentality had such a strong hold on me. The biggest being thinking what I thought was always best and I was always right. Now when my husband wants to do something or thinks differently about something I really try to see his side and not insist that we do it my way. I try to look at it from his perspective. Before when he would do or say something I didn't agree with I would really get riled up inside but would just be silent. Now it seems I don't get upset or in turmoil. My understanding from the Fa is that it is not good enough to simply not react, but that your mind must be right. I feel I've made good strides in that area. It seems my mind has been tempered. It's like a little kid growing up and maturing and not throwing fits anymore.
I've gotten better at judging things from the Fa. I can actively participate in human society but everything I do I try to measure it from the Fa. I don't always succeed but I keep striving. I don't involve myself in things that a Fa-rectification practitioner shouldn't be a part of, always trying to remember that we are setting examples for the future.
When a tribulation comes up I strive to see it with the side of my original nature and to adjust myself to meet the requirements of Teacher's Fa-rectification. I try to remember to be strict with myself. I keep remembering Teacher telling us to not worry or think about anything. Just do what a Dafa disciple is suppose to do. I've gotten better at tempering my mind to get rid of those unnecessary thoughts. I keep reminding myself that if I have a strong intention, my wisdom is gone.
I was frustrated before at work because it was hard spreading the Fa in my situation. I work in an airport which does not allow public announcements to be displayed. I've been making the lotus flowers and they have taken care of that. I have them on my desk at work. Many people ask about them and I then give one to that person. I don't always get to explain what Dafa is all about, but again, with patience things come around. I've had several requests for teaching them to make the flowers. One fellow asked about the flowers on my desk and I didn't have to explain much and he was ready to read the book. I let him borrow the introductory book, Falun Gong. It just happens so unexpectedly. At our recent barbeque for all employees I had a basket of lotus flowers and that was a big hit. One lady from the airlines a few days after the barbeque came up to me and was so thankful for the flower and just kept raving about its beauty. So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't try to force things anymore. Putting some effort out without having any expectations of how I think it should turn out. When traveling I always make lotus flowers and many people (especially stewardesses) comment on them which opens the door for me to explain why I'm making them and of course they all receive one. One man was so intrigued by the flowers that he knelt down by my seat for a long time to learn how to make them, and he was very grateful.
I think being a good person at work and doing a good job and helping people as much as possible are the best example of a good Dafa practitioner. Even if people aren't interested in hearing about Dafa, at least you will set a good example of how a Dafa practitioner should be.
Another frustration I had was how to reach the Chinese people in China to clarify the truth. I did have some success with looking up the Chinese papers on the internet and getting into the classified section where there were email addresses of people who were renting an apartment, or selling something. I would email them and clarify the truth. Now I'm involved in writing the labor camps and prisons and reaching the people who have actually tortured and killed our practitioners. Maybe with writing these people something will click when they read letters from practitioners from the West, that they will have to pay back their wicked deeds, and how much karma they are accumulating. Each week I receive information on a particular labor camp. Usually we'll receive information about the names of practitioners who have been killed and how practitioners are tortured and mistreated, mentioning the names of those responsible. When I'm writing to these individuals I envision them opening the envelope and reading my letter. I also try to envision what these practitioners must have gone through. I have felt more of the "one body" from this experience. Now with the automated phone calling it will be so easy to make phone calls to China. I just want practitioners in China who have been tortured to know that there are many of us in the West who are diligently trying to change their situation. I have noticed when I send forth righteous thoughts that the evil is like eggshells, they break into pieces so easy, and takes little effort to eliminate them. This has all resulted in our "one body" working together.