PureInsight | May 16, 2005
[PureInsight.org] It has been almost a month since a local practitioner, Connie, told me that her son was ill. His situation was so bad that he could not even stand up. Finally he was sent to the hospital by their non-practitioner relatives. Connie told me that her first response upon receiving the message about her son was that she needed to be with him. However, Manhattan needed more people, and all the evil outside China was gathering in Manhattan. Truth-clarification in Manhattan needed the participation of practitioners. An additional disciple here means one more share of righteous power. Connie said to me, "What could I do for him even if I went back to him? Only Master and the Fa could help us. So, I asked for reinforcement of my righteous thoughts from Master. I decided to stay in Manhattan and deny any interference from the old forces." Everything was beyond words at that moment. I simply gave Connie a hug to show my support and respect.
I met Connie again a week later. She had lost some weight but was in high spirits. She held my hand and told me with eagerness that her son was getting better. I could sense the mix of a mother's love and a practitioner's determination.
Connie's concern for her son touched my heart. I understood why I heard her story. It is because I am also a mther, with the same kind of love for my daughter and the same sad burden in my heart. When we tell others our mental burdens, it is also the time we need our righteous thoughts. We all understand the Fa principles. We know to put the need of the Fa first is what Dafa disciples should do. How would it be that we don't want to stay with our loved ones? It's only that we place the mission to offer sentient beings salvation as a higher priority. This does not mean, however, that we don't care about our families.
My daughter left me when she was very young. And it has been eight years since we last met. When we were reunited outside of China, my daughter had already grown up. The eight years can never been made up, which left a regret in my daughter's heart. After we finally reunited, she never wanted to leave me again. No matter whether she went to school, or when I had to go out for work, she always felt sad when leaving me. As a mom, I often felt that I had let her down.
During the Fa rectification, many things are beyond our control. Although I do not want to, I often have to leave my daughter behind when I have to take care of many other things. My heart hurts every time when I have to face my daughter's unwillingness to let me go. I deeply bury my emotion and only let my daughter to see my "cold" side. Amid the brutal persecution, sentient beings eagerly wait for salvation. Dafa disciples' responsibility and mission leave me no choice.
When the Manhattan activities started, during the first several months I was very busy. I didn't have time to call my daughter. When my daughter encountered serious "illness-karma" situations, she hoped I could come back to her. She called me over the phone, "Mom, please come back; when can you come back?" Her voice hurt my heart. This time my endurance had reached its limit. At the same time other practitioners made several calls in a row to urge me to go back. This time I truly decided to go back. But once the thought emerged, I also developed "illness karma" symptoms. I I realized I was wrong for wanting to go back. Manhattan needed people the most at that moment. At that time, we only had three truth clarification locations in Manhattan, and each location had fewer than ten people. Only four or five Canadian practitioners were in Manhattan. In addition, the Associated Press had just published a slanderous "news" report on Falun Gong. The appeal by Canadian practitioners in front of the AP headquarters was our only response to the serious incident. Our persistence in front of the AP offices was just like a thread, which linked practitioners from different places into a bright "necklace."
The thread may be not that bright, but it can link pearls and make the pearls more magnificent. The function of the thread is sometimes hard to be seen, but it is indispensable. I decided to stay, to play the role of a thread. My decision hurt my daughter and disappointed other practitioners. My daughter's hurt was mixed with grievance; the practitioners' disappointment arrived in the form of complaints. I shed tears for my daughter's grievance, and I felt helpless to in face of practitioner's disappointment.
Although I tried to cultivate all encompassing, I finally chose to be strong: the choice to be a thread.
I remember that Master once said, "I remember that Nostradamus said that there would be a period of time that gods and mankind coexist in the world." ("Falun Buddha Fa—Lecture at Mid-Us Fa Conference"). What kind of era this is? The divine realm is cleaning the dirt off people. Human bodies are practicing a god's oath. One moment we have human notions; another moment we have divine thoughts. The weight of human notions, the sanctity of divine thoughts - how many people can truly experience such a vigorous clash in these opposites? How many can understand the sorrow and pain behind the wonder. After I experienced certain difficulties I had some new understandings on cultivation: Remove human notions, cultivate the Buddha body.
A mother's love, the purest passion in the human world, is now endowed with new meaning along the journey of cultivation. When I saw my daughter's emaciated face, I knew what she gained was the salvation of more beings and the elevation of her own realm. Now I can experience a mom's happiness. It is a Dafa disciple's motherly love.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2005/3/27/31723.html