PureInsight | July 18, 2005
[PureInsight.org] After several years of cultivating in Dafa and following the path of Fa-rectification, I had been taking on more and more Dafa work. I had to put aside or even give up many "finer" things in life that everyday people enjoy. On the surface, it seemed that I had given up my attachment to fame and self-interest. Whenever there was too much Dafa work and not enough time, I would put aside my study and work and devote myself to contributing to Dafa and helping sentient beings.
But as time went by, people around me won recognition and reward for their hard work one by one. My attachment to "gain and loss" made itself known again. Facing the choice between Dafa and ordinary work, I decided to concentrate on my studies for a while. I hoped to complete my degree and end my current state of "not being a success."
Thus, any Dafa activity that saves sentient beings and promotes Dafa became of secondary interest to me. I just showed up to the activity and then quickly went back to the lab to take care of the cells. When practitioners were extremely busy and needed my help, I just picked up the phone and told them that I was too busy with my studies and couldn't help them. I thought by working as hard as ordinary people, I would be as successful.
In spite of all my hard work, one week ago I found that the data obtained from several months of effort on my part couldn't be used. I was in shock. I did not know what to do after looking at the results. Several months of hard work had been in vain. I thought that I had most likely chosen the wrong cell line, or the experimental design was wrong. Or, I was out of luck. This time I chose to work hard like ordinary people, so the results were governed by the ordinary human world's rules, "results by trial and error." I suddenly understood clearly that although I wanted to balance Dafa and ordinary people's work well, I had not done it with righteous thoughts and I had simply gone from one extreme to another.
I decided to position my heart correctly. My life was filled with Dafa work once again. This time, I did not feel exhausted, but joyous, no matter how hard I had to work. I truly understand now that all efforts that I contribute to Dafa are opportunities and glory bestowed by Dafa. At the same time, I no longer push aside my lab work. I try to balance both well. Surprisingly, in the past while doing Dafa projects I could not find any practitioners to help me and was saddled with all kinds of issues. Now this was no longer the case. Practitioners came up with helpful ideas. Some other practitioners were also often able to resolve technical issues, which helped me out a lot.
Everything is suddenly so easy when one positions one's heart correctly. I had once unconsciously thought, "How remarkable I am depends on how much Dafa work I do." Now I have finally let go of that attachment, and I am amazed by how comfortable and at ease I now feel.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2005/6/15/32751.html