PureInsight | January 23, 2006
[PureInsight.org] Part One:
I went to bed later than usual last night. Early this morning I didn't want to get up when it was the time for sending righteous thoughts. Therefore, I sent righteous thoughts by sitting in bed. I fell asleep immediately. When I woke up again, it was already half an hour past the time that I was supposed to send righteous thoughts. I felt that I still hadn't had enough sleep, so I lay down again. I had several dreams when I went back to sleep the second time but I could only remember two of them.
During one dream, I was looking for a hotel to stay in. The receptionist told me there was no room for me. In my dream, I thought there should be a room for me; therefore I had an argument with the receptionist. I asked her why there was no room for me. She looked at me and finally told me the answer. She said that the manager of the hotel had told her that if I couldn't do well, then there would be no room for me.
During another dream, a contract I signed in the past couldn't be fulfilled for some reason. So I had to sign another contract.
I felt terrible after I got up. In the future, I should definitely do the things that I am supposed to do. I shouldn't slack off any more. If I had signed a contract in the ordinary society and couldn't fulfill it, there are ways to remedy the situation. However, the historical oath that I had made to assist Teacher with Fa-rectification can't be altered. Furthermore, there are so many sentient beings who are anxiously waiting for me.
I read a chapter of Zhuan Falun every morning. Recently, sometimes I fell asleep when I read or my mind wandered off. I was not in a right cultivation state. So I stopped sitting on the carpet when I read the Fa. I sat in a chair or stood up and read it out loud. That helped me to not fall asleep and I was able to focus more.
Then I noticed another issue. When reading very fast, no matter whether I was reading alone or in a group, I wouldn't fall asleep because I was focusing on reading, I focused on reading per se, and didn't fully understand the meaning of the Dafa book.
So yesterday I started reading the Fa with full attention. Although sometimes I was going slowly, I was able to almost understand the meaning of each sentence. The impact was good. It was the same when reading Zhuan Falun or new scriptures.
For example, yesterday I read the section about "jealousy." Prior to this, I thought I did OK on this aspect. I was better than ordinary people. I wasn't jealous of any fellow practitioners or other people. However, recently some hot research topics I was interested in were assigned to two new employees. Therefore, I was not happy. I couldn't figure out why I was treated this way.
In Lecture Seven of Zhuan Falun, Master said, "A few years ago, absolute egalitarianism was practiced, and it has disordered people's thinking and values. Let me give you a specific example. In the workplace, a person may feel that others are not as capable as he. Whatever he does, he does it well. He finds himself indeed remarkable. He thinks to himself: "I'm qualified to be a factory director or manager, or even a higher position. I think that I could even be Prime Minister." The boss may also say that this person is really capable and can accomplish anything. Coworkers may also express that he is really capable and talented. Nevertheless, there may be another person in the same working group or sharing the same office with him who is quite incapable of doing anything or is good for nothing. Yet one day this incompetent person gets a promotion instead of him and even becomes his supervisor. He will feel in his heart that it is unfair and complain to his boss and coworkers, feeling very upset and quite jealous." (From "Jealousy" in Lecture Seven of Zhuan Falun.)
In the past, when I read this paragraph, I thought I understood. Now I have a deeper understanding. Although it hardly showed in the past, my cultivation state was displayed when things occurred suddenly. If some colleagues have obtained rewards, but you didn't get the share that you deemed appropriate and you feel uneasy, will you realize that it is due to the notion of "absolute egalitarianism?" When someone who you think has fewer skills than you but now receives a promotion, and you have some indescribable uneasiness in your heart, is there any issue of jealousy?
I felt that I enlightened much when reading this paragraph, but now cannot express myself precisely. In short, when I read the Fa wholeheartedly, I understand much more from the Fa.
Going back to the example at my job, if it had happened because of discrimination based on Falun Gong practice, as has been the case in China, then it's another issue. Regardless, we need to validate the Fa under all circumstances. This is to say it's not enough when we think about or talk about it. We have to achieve it in our actions.
When thinking about it quietly, I realize the value of Dafa. I realize the preciousness of Fa study. In fact, we only have so much for Fa study everyday. If we can realize that the Fa is the most precious thing in our life, how will we handle Fa study?
I still remember a sharing several years ago with a fellow practitioner. She said we usually find excuses when we don't do well. In fact, all these excuses cannot fool others. They only cheat us. Therefore, we need to spend each day clearheadedly and solidly in accordance with the Fa.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2006/1/9/35263.html