PureInsight | November 29, 2017
Greetings fellow practitioners
Sometimes it's hard to keep my mind stable and undisturbed by negative factors. I have thoughts that things are not moving forward in the way that I wish. It could be that the effort I put in as a cultivator in saving people appears to be giving little results, or about the difficulty in reaching people, or a feeling that I cannot complete my mission as I should, to save more people on a large scale.
This is not a correct state, because it makes me passive and I do not do things wholeheartedly.
Cultivating without any pursuit gives the best results. Because of these thoughts in my mind, negative things are also getting an opportunity to enter my field. After a while, I can feel uncertain about myself and question, "Is my cultivation going in the right direction? How do I know if I'm doing the right thing?"
I have read many stories about practitioners who had been very diligent in their cultivation and very active, who had passed away, because many of their attachments hadn't been cultivated away. Nobody had been aware of their attachments; they had not been clear about them themselves. How do we know whether what we are doing is good enough?
If I do not maintain a determined heart to cultivate, as I had in the beginning of my cultivation, bad thoughts try to make me doubt; they whisper that I had better slow down and spend time living life well, spend less time exercising, and so on. This is the result of negative factors entering, having seen some doubts.
When encountering these kinds of thoughts, I am aware of them and know that my main consciousness must be right. Eliminating those negative factors during the first five minutes of sending forth righteous thoughts is very powerful and helpful. After a while, the negative thoughts in my field disappear and at the same time, I become surer of myself and my cultivation. I realize that this is also what Master mentioned in Zhuan Falun, about how we will be tested time and time again to see if we are determined in cultivation.
In Your mind must be right, in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun, Master says, “At a certain point in time, you will be made unable to discern clearly whether something is true, whether your gong exists, whether you can practice cultivation and make it, or whether there are Buddha's and if they are real. In the future, these situations will surface again to give you this false impression and make you feel as though they do not exist and are all false—it is to see whether you are determined.”
I realize now that this is a part of my cultivation. I have to improve my xinxing, so that the bad things can be removed and my level can move up.
In this complicated environment of everyday people, I do not always behave like a practitioner.
One example is that I don't always have a heart of compassion towards all beings and towards my fellow practitioners. It can have the same effect of creating negative thoughts about others and myself. When encountering this state, I have found that the best way to move forward is to send forth righteous thoughts and have more compassion towards others. Sometimes, I try to turn this sense of compassion into a kind of habit, so that I can always maintain the state; but at the same time, the difficulty of maintaining such a state becomes clear. Often, I forget about compassion, especially when living my life in this world of illusion.
I also know that this is because my level has not reached a place of purity and that I should focus on cultivating my xinxing. Entering into deep tranquillity when doing the meditation is not a problem for me, but I don't always have the sense of compassion that I feel I should have.
A while ago, when doing the last exercise, thoughts about another practitioner's attachments came into my mind. I couldn't understand why that person acted that way. Right after having that thought, I realized that it was not right and that my mind should not have any negative thoughts; it must be empty. Straight away, in my mind, a very pure looking boy between 7 and 10 years old showed up, crying. I wanted to help him and went closer. When looking at him, I could sense everything that he was thinking and he also knew all that was on my mind.
I saw that the child was crying over the attachments of the same practitioner that I was thinking of. It was not in a way of condemning the person, but because of really feeling helpless and not being able to find a solution or a way to help.
When looking deeper into the boy's mind, I saw that he was crying even more for me; for the negative feelings that I had towards this practitioner. He showed me that I was creating more karma and difficulties, for my cultivation and for the one body. He saw that my heart was not one of compassion, but of condemning and that was the reason he had been crying.
I could see that the boy was feeling terrible for not being able to help us and was really worried. Looking at him - so pure and really anxious for us - made me feel ashamed and tears rolled down my face. The difference between us was enormous. The boy had nothing to do with the fellow practitioner or myself, yet he worried about both of us, and wanted to help us give up our attachments and return home.
His compassion had been something that I had never experienced before. It is hard to reach that state in this human dimension, but I must do my best; At least, I must try to have a heart of forgiveness towards everyone and be able to be thankful when being treated unfairly.
I need to have a heart of compassion instead of condemning other people's attachments or things that look wrong to me. I can try to find a solution to help or let them realise the problem. That would be real compassion.
Saving More Sentient Beings
Because time flies, I often try to think of ways to reach more people. Participating in a parade seemed to me, like a good way to let many people know about the beauty of Falun Dafa. I contacted the organizer of a local parade, which was being held annually. We had already participated in this parade five years ago. The organizer was very happy to have the Tian Guo Marching band back in the parade. When I met with him, he still had three lotus flowers hanging on his wall from five years ago. I knew that it would not be easy for us to organise our entry, because we would be hosting Shen Yun just over a month before the parade.
For quite some time, I had been having a strong desire to build a boat on which several practitioners could meditate. Last time, we'd used a small wagon, which was pulled, with only one practitioner sitting on it. But this year, I wanted to make it more beautiful.
My wife was not so happy with the idea in the beginning, because we had just bought a brand new car and I wanted to build the boat around it. She was worried that the car would be damaged, but I promised her that it would not be. It was all new for me. I didn't want to use other practitioners’ time, because of Shen Yun, so I started to work on the boat by myself, whenever I had time.
Because there was also promotion work to do for Shen Yun, the work on the boat was delayed. After Shen Yun, it became clear how much still needed to be done. There were also many other things to organise, like hotel arrangements and food for the marching band. The involvement of other practitioners was needed. As the deadline for finishing drew nearer, I became more anxious. It came to a point where my forbearance was at its limit and my state was not stable anymore. There were moments when I wished that I had never started building the boat.
This was an indication of my xinxing level. I regret those moments when I was hard on other practitioners and even on everyday people. I hope that they can forgive me.
During this difficult time, I had a dream. In the dream a huge ship was waiting a short distance away. It was so huge that I couldn't see its top, its back, or its front. It was not in water, but on the ground. Together with my family and many, many other practitioners, I was trying to persuade all people we encountered to believe in Falun Dafa. We were trying to convince everyone to board the ship that would bring them to eternity. Our practitioners were in a hurry and many people had already taken their place. We all knew that there wasn't much time; once the ship started to leave, the opportunity to save the people in that area would be gone. There would not be a second chance. I had an unbelievably happy warm feeling for every person I could persuade to board. After a while, the ship certainly started to move and nobody could stop it. It was gone in a second; we all felt sad for the people we could not persuade and who had missed the opportunity.
I believe this dream was to encourage me to go on with my efforts and to not slow down. There are still so many people walking around, not knowing the truth.
Looking back at all these troubles, all of them were arranged. All these things had come together to test my xinxing; testing how much I could endure. I can see my shortcomings during difficult situations; even as I was losing my temper, I was aware of it - all of my problems are caused by my attachments. Doing things without difficulties is not cultivation. Maintaining a harmonious state of compassion while encountering difficulties and staying in that state, is what I am trying to accomplish.
The parade went very well. When seeing all the happy faces of those attending - smiling and applauding - watching practitioners as they made an effort to let everyone know about Falun Dafa, the difficulties and problems that I had encountered before vanished, as if they had never existed.
This is only my understanding. Please point out anything not related to the Fa.
Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/239963