PureInsight | August 22, 2026
[PureInsight.org] A few days ago, while eating watermelon, I accidentally bit the root of my tongue quite badly. A small lump, about the size of a grain of rice, formed there, and whenever food touched it, it hurts. As a cultivator, I knew this was not a coincidence. Biting the root of my tongue seemed to symbolize "chewing one's tongue" — wasn't it a sign that I had failed to cultivate my speech? I reflected on everything I had said over the previous few days and quickly found the cause: I had spoken negatively about an ordinary person behind her back. Then I looked deeper. Why had I spoken ill of her? I realized it was because I had been harboring jealousy for decades.
Half a century ago, when I was in middle school, my teacher appointed me as an assistant class monitor. A female classmate who served as the academic representative was unhappy with the decision. She believed I was unqualified and that she was more capable than I was. She was determined to become the class monitor herself. To achieve that, she rallied several mischievous boys in the class to make trouble. They insulted me every day, throwing the class into chaos. Eventually, I no longer wanted to serve as class monitor, but my teacher refused to give up on me. Later, I was promoted to a student leadership position for the entire school, while she remained the academic representative. Everyone in the class knew that we were constantly at odds with each other, and our relationship was very poor.
After finishing high school, I struggled with poor health and achieved little in my career. I loved reading, and after reading extensively, I developed a passion for literature and began writing as an amateur. Over time, I became somewhat well known in my local area. Meanwhile, that former classmate advanced steadily in her career and eventually became a leader in her profession. Many of our classmates admired and respected her, but I never did. Whenever a classmate praised her, I felt unhappy. Whenever someone criticized her, I felt pleased.
Throughout my nearly thirty years of practicing Falun Dafa, whenever someone mentioned her, it felt as though a lump of cotton was stuffed inside my heart, leaving me uncomfortable and weighed down. Yet I never realized that I had been concealing such deep jealousy, and therefore I never paid attention to eliminating it.
Two years ago, I learned that her husband had passed away from illness. Outwardly, I expressed sympathy that she had lost her life companion in her later years. Inwardly, however, I felt happy and even experienced a sense of satisfaction at her misfortune.
Earlier this year, a classmate told me that she might remarry a widowed retired male classmate. I said that I thought it would be a happy marriage for them. But in my heart, I looked down on her. I thought she was ridiculous—already in her seventies and still looking for a husband. I considered it improper. While chatting with a close female classmate, I mocked her, making sarcastic remarks and using insinuations to portray her negatively. The more I talked, the more I wanted to continue, speaking enthusiastically and almost nonstop.
Master said in Zhuan Falun, "or those discussions on some social issues that one is excited about. I hold that these are all attachments of everyday people. I think that in these areas we should watch what we say—that is the cultivation of speech we refer to. " Comparing myself with the Dafa, I had clearly failed to cultivate my speech. No wonder I bit the root of my tongue. This was Master's "warning," using this incident to enlighten me that deep within my heart there still existed a strong attachment of jealousy.
Master also said in Zhuan Falun, "The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile. There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not."
Master's teachings seemed directed precisely at me. I came to realize how frightening jealousy truly is. I carefully searched for its root and found that it stemmed from being bullied and hurt by her during our school days. Those experiences left emotional scars and painful memories. If I were an ordinary person, perhaps it would be understandable to feel jealous, since ordinary people are immersed in human emotions in their lives. But I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, someone who seeks to transcend ordinary human standards. Fifty years have passed, yet I was still jealous of her. Doesn't that show how deeply rooted this attachment had become? Isn't this a serious attachment that should be eliminated?
Master has also taught that a cultivator who cannot let go of resentment toward those who once opposed them cannot achieve Consummation. Master has also said that cultivators have no enemies. Yet I had created an enemy in my own heart, hiding my jealousy beneath the surface. Was that cultivation? No—it was not. If a cultivator does not cultivate this aspect of the heart, how can Consummation even be discussed? Failing to cultivate it is simply not acceptable.
I am writing this article to expose my jealousy so that I can eliminate it completely. After practicing Falun Dafa for nearly thirty years, I feel deeply ashamed that I have done so poorly in cultivating my speech. Only now have I discovered this hidden jealousy, an attachment that was difficult for me to recognize and uncover.
I sincerely thank Master for this strict guidance and his compassionate salvation. My understanding is limited to my current level. If there is anything in this sharing that deviates from the Fa, I respectfully ask fellow practitioners to kindly point it out.
Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/303251
