PureInsight | October 6, 2003
[PureInsight.org] To me, a bosom friend is someone who knows what you think, and understands what you mean when you tell him/her something, and the converse is also true. A bosom friend can only be found through chance, and the reason that two people become bosom friends is also determined by their predestined relationship. Actually, in one's whole life, one may meet several quasi-bosom friends. Yet, the congenial interest is more or less different in scope. For example, some of them have the same viewpoints as yours on family issues, some of them share common thoughts on love and marriage, and some of them agree with you on the issue of children's education. On the other hand, if this person shares a close view of life and belief with you in all of these areas you have then truly met one of your life's bosom friends.
I think I am a lucky person knowing that I was predestined to unexpectedly meet this kind of bosom friend. Every second of the conversation with a bosom friend is so incredibly wonderful. As soon as your words flow out of your month, the friend would immediately say with a deep understanding from her heart: "Aha, it is exactly what I want to say." Or, when you try to explain yourself, the friend would say gently, "Actually, I understand even if you don't say the words." I always treat such kind words as the very best nutrition for my spirit.
Yue is the first practitioner I met after I came abroad. Since we met in a community center we have become each other's bosom friend. I don't even know how our friendship developed. In fact, you needn't do anything intentionally to build a true bosom friendship; no matter how long the two individuals are apart, once they are together, their two hearts will stay so close and share the same thought without prior exchanges.
The path of cultivation is full of hardships. Many times, we need help from fellow practitioners. Usually it's easy for us to see through others' attachments, but hard to find those of our own. If someone who doesn't understand your circumstances very well gives you an overwhelmingly blunt comment, you will not be convinced in your heart even though you don't say anything, and you will still need some time to release the depression, and then look inside calmly. Yet, if a bosom friend gives you a gentle comment and kindly points out your attachments, you will remember the advice in your mind and be absolutely unwilling to commit the same mistake again.
One time I told Yue that I had done a lot for others and, as a result, I lacked time for my own practice. As if contemplating something, Yue, slowly responded, "I remember a story and don't know if you have heard it or not. It is said there was a cultivator who wished to practice cultivation since he was very young. In the ancient times, cultivators needed to dig a cave in which to do their meditation. This person just finished digging a cave when an elder person came and said to him, 'Young man, would you please give this place to me? I am already old, perhaps I have not much time to cultivate. There is still ample time for you, so it won't be too late to dig another one.' The cultivator replied, 'All right, this one is for you.' He then started digging another cave, but when he finished it someone else came along and took it. In this way, the caves he dug were always given away to others. When he was very old, he spent a lot of effort to dig one for himself; he thought he could finally cultivate diligently this time. Unexpectedly, when he had just finished digging the cave, a young fellow came over and said to him, 'Hi, old man. I see you are at such an old age. How can you still cultivate? It would be better to leave the chance for me.' The cultivator could do nothing but shake his head and say, 'All right, you can come in.' By then he was extremely old and had no strength to dig a cave for himself anymore. But, he felt relieved looking at the caves he fixed for others. He thought to himself, 'Isn't it also one kind of happiness to see so many people cultivating in the caves I dug? There is no need for me to cultivate. Soon afterwards, an elder with a long beard appeared before him and proclaimed with a smile, 'You have already reached consumation.'" Yue continued to say, "Cultivation is not limited to formality, but what is in your heart. Your xinxing is already at that level if you can consider others first in all situations." I nodded with agreement, and the unhappy feeling in my heart was swept away.
It also brings a wonderful feeling beyond the description in words to be a faithful listener between bosom friends. Many times when I felt gloomy in my heart and needed to pour out my feelings, the friend on the other end of the telephone listened quietly and attentively. Without realizing I was solving my own problem while talking. Finally, I hit the mark with a single comment, and simultaneously I heard the giggles on the other end - both of us had a complete understanding.
Yue said to me recently, "We two really get along very well. Actually, it is only because we can mutually tolerate each other's short comings. It would be good if we could treat other people with such compassionate hearts." This is precisely what I wanted to say.
There are many kinds of happiness in life, but the conversation with good friends actually exceeds many others. Lu Xun, a famous Chinese writer, once said, "It is enough to have a good friend during one's life time, however it is very fortunate to have a bosom friend ones' whole life". Throughout the ages, so many writers literally sought every way to find the truth as well as a close friend. Yet in the end they could only sigh woefully at its difficulty. I have obtained Dafa and also met this close friend; therefore there I should not have any regrets.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2003/9/2/23284.html