Experience of Stepping Forward

[PureInsight.org] My name is L, and I'm 58 years old. Ever since I was a child, I have never stopped taking medicines, and have always been sick. Counting only the diseases I had in my chest, I had lobar pneumonia, pleurisy and hydrothorax. The fluid in my chest extended to the seventh rib. The doctors extracted 1,200 milliliters of fluids at one time. Afterwards, I developed lung cancer. After a lobe of the lung was removed, the tumor was removed. I was a well-known chronic invalid, a young long-term patient. However, despite developing angina pectoris, I was predestined to become a Falun Dafa practitioner.

Master has guided me during the several years of practice However, I was like a mischievous child who, every once a while, will pause, chase butterflies and kick the pebbles on the roadside. This happened when I was not diligent in my cultivation. I staggered along and moved on. Before the Chicago Fahui, one local practitioner asked me to write about my experience of how I stepped out for Dafa. This was an honor, and also an opportunity to look back on myself. I know that everything that I have is given by Master and Dafa. My crude understanding is obtained through cultivation in Dafa. Every slight progress of mine is also the manifestation of Dafa in my body. I understand that writing down my experience is a form of Fa-clarification and a process of advancement. This is why I have written this paper.

I am not married, which means that I am not tied down by family chores and family sentiments. Many years ago, I accompanied my mother to the U.S. to visit my younger brother's family. Being unmarried, I also applied for a visa with mother, since these two would fall perfectly into the category of "having immigration tendency." However, just as everyone believed it would be a miracle for us to be granted visas, I was granted a visa the first time I applied, and came to America. Afterwards, I also smoothly received my green card. In 1999, using my limited English, I passed a test, and became an American citizen. My American friends were amazed. People thought that I got all these because of luck, nothing but luck. But I was very clear regarding this. This was destined. After I started to cultivate, it became even clearer that Master arranged all these events. Hence, I have been able to go to Geneva five times in five years between the years of 2000 and 2004. In addition, it has also been possible for me to take part in large-scale of Fa-rectification activities, such as going to Germany, Russia, Iceland and Paris. I had much less trouble doing so compared to others. Why did I want to frequently participate in these activities? During the "Lecture at the First Conference in North America" in New York City in 1998, I sat on the carpet in front of the platform. When Master was answering practitioners' questions, several times after reading the questions, Master said, "Study the Fa. Study the Fa." Afterwards, when Master was still reading the questions, I whispered, "Study the Fa." When Master replied again, "Study the Fa," I couldn't help giggling. Then Master said, "You thought you understood, but actually you didn't understand anything." Master also said something else. I was the only one who knew why Master said that because of my laughter. He was actually talking to me. At that time, I indeed did not understand the importance of Fa-study. Since Master had emphasized several times to practice outside and keep studying the Fa, I needed to do what Master said. By then, my mother had already gone to New Zealand with my younger brother's family. My own personal housework was extremely simple. Therefore, every day, besides going to work, all I did was practice, study the Fa and watch Master's lectures on video. In 1999, Jiang's regime started to persecute Falun Gong. This persecution also disrupted my cultivation. Now, in retrospect, I understand the real reason why Master asked us to constantly study the Fa. During that period of studying the Fa without pursuit built me a solid foundation. That was why whenever I needed to go out of town to participate in some activities; I usually had no hesitation at all, because the side that had obtained Fa was clear. The enlightened natural disposition automatically knows what to do. I am a particle of Dafa. When there were large-scale of Dafa activities that required Dafa disciples to participate, I must go and stand in the position that I should. It is as natural as humans needing to breathe. From the beginning when the rumor spread that Jiang's regime was intending to extradite Master back to China, I went to Washington DC with some other practitioners to express my concern, and tell the truth to Chinese Embassy. After the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I repeatedly went to Washington DC, New York, Chicago, and I also went to Salt Lake City, President Bush's ranch in Texas, etc.

To take part in all these activities demands time. How have I arranged my time? First, in these years, all of my holidays, personal days and paid sick leaves have been used to participate in Dafa activities. Most often, I would use weekends. I usually would leave on Friday evenings after work, and come back on Sunday evenings after the activities. On Mondays, I would still go to work on time. Next is accomplishing my own work. Before leaving, I would do a lot of preparatory work, so that the others wouldn't have too much trouble, and be more relaxed. At the meantime, I would tell my department head clearly where I was going and what I was going to do, thus to obtain their understanding and support. Moreover, I also used the favorable conditions the best that I could. For example, my company has a rule. If a family member is sick, or has some big accident, or someone is going back to one's native country, he or she is permitted to have extended vacation time without pay. But it won't be counted as an absence. I used it twice: The SOS walk and going to Russia and to Iceland. When I asked for leave for urgent rescue walk, I wrote down on the application form the reasons why I needed to participate in the walk, and the situation in China. When personnel department's people told me that there had never been cases like this before, I told him the persecution of Falun Gong was a significant factor in my life. The walk to rescue practitioners was more important than family members' sicknesses. The manager of the personnel department was still a little unwilling and said that I had to get the department head's permission. Because I was determined, I was all prepared on Sunday morning. I even had my hair cut short so that it would be easier for me to walk. On Monday morning, I went to talk with the personnel manager. Seeing that I had already had my haircut, he was a little surprised, and said, "You are ready to go?!" I said, "Yes!" Of course, I had explained clearly to the matter to the department head. He then signed, and allowed me to leave. On Tuesday, we started the 20-day SOS walk. From this experience, I realized as long as the truth has been clarified, our own will is firm, and when it conforms to average people's principles, we can accomplish what looks difficult. Actually, the key to the issue of whether one can come out or not lies in our own thoughts. One of our local practitioners has two young children. Her husband is not a practitioner. When I shared my experiences of going to Geneva and Europe, she told me that she also wanted to go to Geneva. Immediately, her husband started to have back pain, and her children developed a high fever. She called me and said, "Aunt L, walking out is really difficult. What can I do in this kind of situation?" I reminded her that it was all because of interference, and was only the surface appearance. I also told her to try to strengthen her desire to go. Very soon, her husband's back pain disappeared. Additionally, he even supported her going to Geneva, and the children's fever disappeared as well. But by then, the airplane ticket's price had gone up to more than $800. That evening, she called again and asked what if it cost too much. I told her that it would all depend on herself; whether she was sincere and determined to go. If she wholeheartedly wanted to go, there must be some way. Hearing this, she cried out on the phone, "I really want to go, even if it will cost me $1,000." Because of her righteous thought, she finally bought a ticket that cost only about $500. It was even cheaper than the one I bought earlier. She only needed to leave one day earlier. This kind of arrangement actually was very good, because arriving there earlier; she was able to join the activities with practitioners from other nations. This broke the boundary of the normal regional practice. Afterwards, she told me that she learned many things only after she had come out. Through this experience, she really achieved a lot.

Now, I will talk about cultivation and progress in the process. During the SOS urgent rescue walk three years ago, I truly walk out of my self-centered self, formed in this human world. There were four of us who walked the entire journey. One was a Western practitioner and three were Chinese practitioners. I was the oldest. As I had been weak before, I was unaccustomed to physical exercise. I had no experience in long distance walking and walked extremely slowly. This plus my stubbornness caused many conflicts to occur. We were not familiar with each another. The Chinese practitioners did not speak English well and communication was not smooth. Plus the burning hot weather, the occasional thunder storms, and the need to catch up to participate in press conferences, I was not only suffering physically, but also in my heart. At that time, I had a Walkman with me. I would listen to Master's lectures while walking. "When your xinxing is upgraded, your Gong will increase." As more attachments were eliminated, my body also changed. In the beginning, I used a walking stick and my feet hurt. So, I discarded the stick on the third or fourth day. On the firth and sixth days, I gradually caught up with the group's walking speed. After ten days, things were greatly different. My body and mind were all in good condition, and my steps were lighter. I did not eat much; neither did I need much sleep. Days of exhaustion gave me spirit; every step brought me closer to Truthfulness–Compassion–Forbearance. The skin shed one layer after another. Through that period of conflicts, with my own changes coupled with everybody looking inside himself, the overall situation changed. First, the Chinese practitioners tried to speak little Chinese, and struggled to use simple English sentences to eliminate the barrier between the Chinese and Western practitioners. The only Western practitioner was also the spokesman. We called him our "team leader." After we got to know one another well, the attachments were eliminated and we became more harmonious.

We started from Cincinnati at the southern tip of Ohio and walked to Cleveland at the north end of the State, a distance of about 360 miles. We held total of 23 press conferences along the way. We felt like we were sowing machines, spreading the seeds of Dafa to people. Our images of enduring the hardship of a long journey, the waving of small yellow flags carried on our backpacks and the SOS banners, all left deep impression on the residents along our journey. Twenty days' walk left many moving stories. I once wrote: "Moving Thoughts along the SOS Walk:"

"Start the journey in the morning when the sun has just risen, keep walking at night when the clouds of stars accompany us. Dafa disciples are carrying a historically huge responsibility, climbing the mountains, walking through the towns, clarifying the truth, delivering the blessed message of Dafa.

Each flyer [passed out to the beings] shows our benevolent heart, traveling in the human world to assist Master for Fa-rectification. Sending forth righteous thoughts, eliminating evil. Few people walk on the country roads. Occasionally the cars passed by and, often times, we could hear cheering honks from the drivers.

Waving our hands and gladly greeting them, beings awaken from their dreams, no ways to express our gratitude toward Master, except for feeling His enormous compassion."

Before cultivation, I had pain and illness all over my body. After cultivating Dafa, I was able to walk this 20-day journey. This is my best way to validate Dafa. Everyone who knows my past and saw my pictures today instantly knows the truth of Dafa, since in the photo I am so healthy, strong and energetic. By the way, my mother moved to U.S. to live with me at the end of 2000. After seeing my changes, she also became a Dafa practitioner. During the 20-day SOS journey, as mother and daughter, we passed xinxing tribulations at same time. I endured both physically and mentally, letting go so much of my strong-willed personality. When my mother is left at home by herself, she endures the hard test of loneliness. The old lady said that the reason that she could live to be 80 years old is because she has been waiting to attain Dafa. We feel so happy that, as mother and daughter, we are blessed by Buddha's Great Compassion the same time,

Regarding my trips to Geneva, Germany, Russia, Iceland and Paris to participate in Fa-rectification activities, many fellow practitioners shared very nice experiences. I would like to talk about how I let go of some of my attachments. I formed some habits through decades of leading a single life. For example, I didn't want other people to touch my bed, let alone sit or sleep in my bed. I need a very quiet environment to sleep; other people were not allowed to enter my bedroom. Therefore, when I was traveling I ran into some troubles. I recall the first time to I attended a Fahui and had to share a bed with another practitioner. I lay there quietly whole evening, neither moving nor sleeping. After I attended more Fahui, I started to get use to this kind of situation. Last time, when I went to Germany, in order to send forth righteous thoughts at a close distance, we had to run back and forth between two places. One day, because we needed to rush and were not able to find a place to rest, a few hundred of us could only stay in a gym, where we could only go after midnight and had to leave before 5 o'clock in the morning. Easterners and Westerners, male and female, elders and younger ones, all stayed together. We could only lie on the floor with our clothes on to rest for a few hours. At the time, I really didn't know how to deal with the situation. I sat there for quite a while, and then I asked myself, what if I were a wandering monk, what would I do? So I bit my teeth and closed my eyes and finally lay down to sleep. When we were in Russia, over a hundred people stayed in a small art school, SFRT intensively for 4 days without walking out the door. Apart from SFRT, all we did were the exercises and Fa-study, and, when we were really tired, just found a place to lie down. We ate instant noodles and cookies sent by Russian practitioners. All my everyday life's rituals were interrupted, and I couldn't care about any things that I would normally be particular about. Since my name was on the blacklist provided by the Chinese government, I was unable to enter Iceland. So I staged a sit-in at the Paris airport overnight to protest. All these activities totally changed me. Now, as long as I feel tired, I will even fall asleep in my chair in front of the computer. This was absolutely inconceivable before my cultivation of Dafa.

In the past, I always followed other fellow practitioners when I went abroad. I relied on fellow practitioners and did not need to take care of anything myself. This spring when I went to Paris, I had to go around by myself after two fellow practitioners left me. Fortunately, on the flight to Paris, I had twice read Master's "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference." Master said:

…if you don't possess that kind of mighty virtue, haven't blazed your own path, and don't know what to do when you need to do things independently, that won't do. So I have deliberately given you this period of time, so that you can have opportunities to temper yourselves and become mature.

Thank you, Master, for giving me this opportunity. I stayed at a place by myself alone. However, I did not encounter any communication problems, even though I don't speak French. I have learned how to solve problems independently without relying on others and arranged my own itinerary of all Fa-rectification activities in Paris, including going to the Second World War Museum with Spanish practitioners. There was an annual attorneys' meeting there and we went there to clarify the truth to them.

The last story I would like to share with you is the one in Russia. Just now, I mentioned the last night when we were at an art school in Russia. A practitioner from Washington D.C., and I taught Russian practitioners to sing the song "Falun Dafa Is Good." Those who learned the song and those who taught the song were both very attentive. Different languages did not hinder our communication. One glance, one gesture and one smile made our hearts close. We sang the song "Falun Dafa Is Good" till the next morning. The living conditions of the local Russian practitioners are poor, but they still do their best to save some money to clarify the truth of Dafa and save people. They really admired North American Dafa Dizi who are able to see Master frequently. We invited them to come to an experience sharing conference in U.S. They shed tears and said, "We would really love to but we don't have money. That little money has to be used for printing Dafa materials!" All of us could feel their pure heart. On the last day in Russia, 12 foreign and 4 local practitioners were stopped by Russian police because of our distributing Dafa newspapers. The police asked us to put down the newspapers and then leave. Of course, the Russian practitioners refused. As a result, all of us were taken to the police station. First, they checked our passports first. Twelve of us had American passports and one of us had the British passport. After having checked a few passports, the police simply asked us, "Who carries a Chinese passport?" Upon hearing this, I could not hold my tears any more: "Dear Compassionate Master, before our departure, you told us those who have Chinese passports better not go to Russia. You cherish us more than we cherish ourselves!" After the police left the room, we shared our thoughts briefly and concluded: Since we are here, we must validate Dafa and eradicate all the evil forces. We all sat down on the floor and started sending forth righteous thoughts. Immediately, the energy field became very strong. Inside the room, there was stillness. The policemen outside the room were amazed by our tranquility, calmness and kindness. What a group of people! We neither cried nor protested. Although they were elderly and could not speak Russian, they were not afraid of anything and just sat there motionless. One policeman came in and said, "We will let you leave if you symbolically turn in some penalty fees, just a few American cents if the fines are changed to U.S. dollars. All us said that we would not turn in a cent. Falun Gong is a legal organization in Russia. We did not break any laws. Since we did not accept any fines, they did not know how to release us. Later, they asked us to go to court. At court, every practitioner said, "Falun Dafa Is Good." If we have another opportunity to come to Russia, we will still say, "Falun Dafa Is Good." The practitioner who spoke first at court made an excellent presentation. She said, "Falun Dafa is really good. Falun Dafa teaches people to be good and improves people's health and morality. I have benefited a lot from Dafa. There is old Chinese saying that one drop of favor should be returned with a flowing spring. I will tell people the beauty of Falun Dafa wherever I go. If you don't believe it, they are all written in the newspapers. Then, she put the newspapers in front of the judge, police officials, translator and a secretary. Finally, the judge said, "This case needs to be treated as an exception. You do not need to stay here, and you can take your newspapers with you." Some practitioners wanted to take photos in the court carrying the big bundle of the newspapers. The judge also agreed. What a great arrangement! We, a group ordinary elderly Dafa practitioners were able to clarify the truth of Dafa in a Russian police station and at court. Before we left the court, we gave many hongfa bookmarks to the policemen. They were all very pleased to accept them. I witnessed the might power of Dafa.

Whenever I participate in Dafa activities, I can always see the aspects where other practitioners did better in cultivation than I. In this way, I can find out my own shortcomings that need to be improved. I know that my ability is limited. All I can do is to hold banners, send froth righteous thoughts, do Falun Gong exercises and distribute flyers. Now every second of the time is precious. Each trivial thing within Fa-rectification looks very ordinary; but in the other dimensions it must be spectacular and magnificent. Each opportunity comes only once. Thank you, Master, for bring me out of hell and cleaning me up gradually. Thank you, Master, for selecting me and leading me on the path of Fa-rectification cultivation. Using all the words in the heaven and earth, I cannot describe your immense compassion.