PureInsight | January 3, 2005
[PureInsight.org] Recently I realized that I was fundamentally attached to attaining the "righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism." (From "Non-Omission in Buddha Nature" in Essentials for Further Advancement.) Because of it, when I saw sides of fellow practitioners that hadn't cultivated well, I frequently thought of giving up my cultivation practice because I doubted whether Falun Dafa was capable of transforming me into a good being. I was appalled by my doubts about Falun Dafa and my lack of introspection. Did I follow what Teacher and Falun Dafa require of me as a Falun Gong cultivator? No. I have always watched how others cultivate and fixed my eyes on others. I constantly forgot to seek inward unconditionally for areas of improvement. I constantly forgot that everything and everyone I encounter contain elements of cultivation practice. How could I allow the evil to exploit upon my attachment to self and to manipulate me with their demonic illusions?
Because of this fundamental attachment to attaining the "righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism," I also forgot that safeguarding the Fa and validating the Fa should be my foremost responsibility as a Falun Dafa disciple. As a result, I often tried to "validate" myself when I should have been validating Falun Dafa. Because my heart wasn't pure enough and there was selfishness hidden deep inside of me, even though I didn't recognize it at the time, my attachment compromised the sacredness and results of my contribution to Dafa. I may have been very active in offering Teacher's salvation to the world's people. But many of my secular attachments often surfaced and sabotaged the work, such as the attachment to work, zealotry, the mentality of showing off, ego-inflation, the attachment to compete with fellow practitioners, and the like.
Teacher! I am so sorry! I am sorry for doubting your compassion and the mighty power of Falun Dafa. When the doubt came into my head, it pained me a great deal, but it did exist. It was because I really hadn't genuinely followed what you and Falun Dafa require of me. The root cause was that I never really understood the profound meaning of the words "validating the Fa." Consequently, I did not regard Fa-validation as the mission that I was born to do. It was caused by the fundamental attachment that I mentioned before. Because I was attached to me, the basis of my action was not righteous. On the surface, I was doing truth-clarification work to save the world's people, but I was actually doing Dafa work to satisfy my ego. I was doing Dafa work in order to validate the meaning of my existence and make myself feel happy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to a selfless and altruistic being, but one will not reach such a state if one becomes overly attached to the goal of being a selfless person. It's like a high school student will not be admitted to any college if he only dreams of going to college but does not put any effort in his studying. A person will ultimately become a selfless and altruistic life as he continues to solidly cultivate himself.
Why do we cultivate ourselves? It is because as lives forged by Falun Dafa and as particles of Falun Dafa, we are supposed to unconditionally be selfless and altruistic! A Fa particle should naturally assimilate itself to Dafa! Otherwise, how could it be considered a Dafa particle? Each of us bears an important mission on our shoulders. We must validate Dafa and offer Teacher's salvation to the world's people. If we do not cultivate ourselves well, would we be able to carry out and would we deserve to carry out such an important mission?
A person who has completely let go of himself does not have any omission or any attachment. Will he have any problem concentrating when he tries to study the Fa or send forth righteous thoughts? Will he have impure motives when he offers Teacher's salvation to the world's people? Will he have any attachment to zealotry or competitiveness? Saving the world's people will be a natural manifestation of his compassion. A completely selfless and altruistic cultivator will naturally validate the Fa with each and every thing he says and does.
This is my personal understanding on this subject. Please kindly point out anything you might find erroneous.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2004/11/17/29931.html