PureInsight | October 31, 2005
[PureInsight.org] Preface: In my current life, I have a very bad attachment – I am sometimes ashamed of myself and want to give up on myself. It seems that this warped notion came with me when I was born. After I started my cultivation, I have been able to remove a lot of it. But from time to time it still re-surfaces. When my righteous thoughts are not strong, it is able to control me to the point where I feel that I am almost going crazy. It is probably the biggest warped element that lies within me. It wasn't until recently that I have become to realize the origin of this most warped attachment. Actually I know that I shouldn't carry this state of mind with me when I write about the ancient Greek civilization for the first time. It is not quite appropriate. But I don't see any other way around it. I have decided to write my experience down, hoping to truly eliminate this extremely bad element in me. It may not be the right thing to do. I hope, dear reader, you can forgive me.
The ancient Greek civilization is a shining chapter in the history of this round of human civilization. The Island of Crete (Κρήτη) in the middle of the Aegean Sea is considered the point of origin of the ancient Greek civilization. The Empire of Minos was founded on the island before or around 1800 B.C. One can still see the splendor of the royal palace from its ruins. From that, one could catch a glimpse of how advanced its civilization was at its prime.
Around 1700 B.C., the crown prince of the Empire of Minos was named Xuanan. He was a very kind and optimistic person. He had a very forgiving and understanding heart. At that point, the Empire of Minos was very powerful. The smaller countries around it had to pay tribute to it every year bearing gifts. Xuanan had an uncle named Yihan who was more than 10 years older than him. Yihan appeared to be a very kind and honest person on the surface but he actually was evil and unscrupulous.
Once, the king took his soldiers to the northern part of Greece to put down a rebellion. Yihan tried to get someone to assassinate the king but didn't succeed. Six months later, the king returned safely. Around that time, Xuanan, the crown prince, went on a trip to the coast of the Aegean Sea and met a very beautiful girl named Ailun there. She was the daughter of a fisherman. She was as beautiful as a fairy goddess. Xuanan fell for her the moment they met. They began to spend every minute of the day together. Yihan became jealous. He began to make more plans to usurp the throne and break up Xuanan and Ailun.
One day Xuanan and Ailun took a boat out on the ocean to enjoy themselves. They were caught in a storm, and ended up spending several days drifting in the ocean. Yihan took advantage of the opportunity. He made a false report to the king claiming that Xuanan and Ailun had been captured by an enemy of the kingdom at sea. The king believed him and personally led some soldiers out to sea on an expedition to rescue Xuanan and Ailun. While the king was away, Yihan seized the throne and executed all the officials loyal to the king. He was also very cruel and vicious toward the people in the kingdom, and everyone was suffering a lot. The king and Xuanan didn't know what was going at home. When they finally returned to the island, they realized what had happened. But it was already too late. They were immediately arrested by Yihan's followers. The king was murdered right away. Xuanan was locked in a cage. Yihan took Ailun away. He had also fallen under the spell of her beauty. He threatened Ailun and told her that if she was willing to be with him, he would make her his queen, otherwise he would make her suffer.
Ailun was a girl who was rather superficial and yearned for a life of luxury. Once she realized her situation, she immediately agreed to be Yihan's queen. She had been a virgin until that point, and she gave herself to Yihan that night. Yihan wanted Xuanan to suffer even more. His followers suggested Xuanan be put on a remote island with guards to watch him, and let him suffer in the wilderness. Yihan thought it was a great idea. So he ordered guards to take Xuanan to a remote island known as Malta today (it had a different name at that time). By that point, Xuanan was on the verge of a mental breakdown. His own uncle had murdered his father, and then had tied him up in ropes. He was about to get expelled to a remote island. His own beloved fiancée had abandoned him at the key moment. He couldn't accept the cruel reality no matter what. He became very depressed and wanted to give up on himself. He developed a deep hatred toward his uncle and Ailun. But he hated himself even more. He hated his own kindness and how he used to believe in people so easily. He became very sarcastic and developed a horrible temper.
He was placed on a ship to Malta under guard. On the way there, he almost became insane. He tried to kill himself several times but didn't succeed. After he arrived at Malta, he felt that even a ghost's life would better than his. He talked to himself all the time as if he was carrying on a long conversation with another person. Sometimes he would sit a piece of rock and talk to hilltops across from him that bore some resemblance to the human shape. One day maybe because he was frustrated that he was not getting any reply back, he became angry. He became half-mad and wanted to give up on himself. So he ran toward a hilltop and tried to hit his head on a piece of rock. But because he either didn't position himself properly or his eyes were playing tricks on him, he not only didn't die, but his head became much clearer. He gradually became more rational. He thought to himself, "I have nothing left. I will never be able to leave this remote island for the rest of my life. Rather than living out my life in a daze, I should try to have some joy and meaning to my life." He then realized that there were too many guards around him and he must not let them see that his mind was returning to normal. So he began to act as if he had gone crazy in front of the guards. A short time later, those guards felt that he had indeed gone mad and there was no longer any need to watch him. So they asked Yihan for permission to leave Xuanan alone on the island. By that time, Yihan and Ailun had already had three children. Yihan gave the guards permission to return to Greece but asked them to make sure Xuanan knew about his and Ailun's domestic bliss.
After Xuanan heard the news, he indeed suffered a mental collapse. He truly gave up on himself. Soon after the guards left, one night a heavy rain fell, and he decided to drown himself in the sea. Before he died, he heard a voice above his head asking him, "You have experienced too much suffering in the human world. Do you want to find a tranquil place in search of a way to escape all this?" Xuanan replied in tears, "I have no way out in this life other than death. If a tranquil way to escape all this truly exists, it will have to wait until my next life." Then he drowned himself in the ocean.
After he died, the primordial spirit of Xuanan was reincarnated and went through many lives in many different places in the world. He had practiced cultivation in many of his lives. But because he had suffered too much damage in this life, his tendency to give up on himself still appeared in his other lives. In my current life, I still have that tendency. It is very strong. It is not only a bad element, it has also been accumulated throughout my various lives. Today, I am writing this past experience down to expose the origin of this attachment so I can eliminate it. At the same time, I also want to share with readers the fact that our attachments in this lifetime often have their historical origins. I have said enough. So I am ending the article here.
By the way, Yihan is still one of my relatives in this lifetime. He is still an evil person and has caused a lot of suffering in my family. Ailun and I have the same surname and might be distant relatives in this lifetime. Neither of them has obtained the Fa. Next time when I get a chance, I will still continue to clarify the truth to them. After all, no matter what had happened, the three of us meeting again in this lifetime show that we still have predestined relationships.
Translated from: http://zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2005/10/6/34119.html