PureInsight | August 29, 2006
[PureInsight.org] (2006 Experience Sharing Conference in Ireland)
Under the protection of our merciful master I am fortunate to obtain
the Fa during this Fa rectification period. I am also fortunate to be
bestowed with this sacred task: assisting Master and validating the Fa,
as well we saving sentient beings, and becoming a Dafa disciple during
the Fa rectification period. Looking back on this cultivation process
over the past three-years, I deeply appreciate Master's salvation. I
want to thank Master for providing me with this chance to cultivate,
and also give me this chance to sit down and look back during this last
moment of Fa rectification, so that I can summarize my experiences,
find out where I fall short, carry forward good result and walk well my
path in the future.
1. Experiences in reciting the Fa
From Dafa websites I know that many practitioners recite Zhuan Falun from memory. Zhuan Falun
is a heavenly book and is truly priceless. I thought, "Why not recite
this book and put it into my mind?" I remembered that during Fa study
Master enlightened me to this principle and helped me memorize Zhuan Falun
during my first year of cultivation. I began to memorize, but stopped
after only 20 pages. At that time, I thought it is too slow to memorize
the Fa, and thought that this might even influence my Fa study. During
that period, whenever I had time I would go to the Chinese embassy to
send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil, and thought I
couldn't calm down to learn the Fa, so I stopped. In fact I stopped
because I was afraid of it being difficult and I had an attachment to
the length of time left in Fa rectification. I hadn't improved myself!
Looking back at these three-years of cultivation, although I never
stopped studying Fa, my improvement was so slow. Especially, when I
couldn't concentrate on studying the Fa. It seemed as if I was
studying, but I was not dedicated, and was affected by some bad
thoughts. However, memorizing and reciting the Fa can solve this
problem, because you can't do this when your mind is not calm.
Master told us again and again that it is useless if our minds are not
calm when studying the Fa. My understanding is that it is difficult for
us to grasp the boundless connotation of the Fa when we are not calm.
Studying the Fa well is the basic guarantee of doing the three things.
We all know Master is rectifying the Fa, and recreating the universe
using "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance." Dafa disciples have come
here to assimilate to the Fa representing their own worlds and we also
have great responsibilities to help Master validate the Fa. The
sentient beings can enter the new universe only after they become
assimilated the Fa. After our consummation, we will be Kings or Gods at
different levels of new universe, so we should take a complete Fa back.
My celestial eye is not open, but I believe those sentient beings will
do things together when we recite the Fa; they will assimilate to the
Fa and will have an essential guarantee for them to enter the new
When I had this new understanding, I began to move forward in memorizing the Fa. Master said in Zhuan Falun: "And whether you can cultivate, that all depends on whether
you can endure, whether you can make sacrifices, and whether you can
take the hardship. If you're able to steel your will, no difficulty can
block you, and I'd say it'll be no problem."
Reciting the Fa should be done little by little, and I do it according
to experiences shared from other practitioners. The first attempt at
memorizing is done paragraph by paragraph. Here I recite smaller
paragraphs as one whole part and I divide larger paragraphs into
several smaller ones and recite them one by one. I repeat every
paragraph three to five times until I remember them. I repeat previous
paragraphs when reciting the later ones. This is because it can be
frustrating when memorizing in that you feel as if you have almost
forgotten them and this will affect your memorizing. In the beginning,
there was a lot of interference and it was very slow. It almost took
two hours to recite one or two paragraphs. Later, it became faster. My
understanding is that all sentient beings from the macroscopic to the
microcosmic in your world are assimilating to the Fa and evil being are
eliminated when memorizing. Those bad things, those attachments would
be thrown off, those parts which have been cultivated well will also be
isolated by Master. Then the interferences decreases, and the speed
becomes faster. This is the power of the Fa. I will keep doing this and
memorize all of Zhuan Falun.
I often find during the memorizing that my body and mind are hit upon
and purged and that attachments can also be found more easily.
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa
can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts".
(From "Drive out Interference" in Essentials for Further Advancement II).
At this last moment of Fa rectification, reciting the Fa can find those
deeply hidden attachments, can change those bad things and will let us
walk our path well during the process of validating Fa.
2. Harmonizing my family
Speaking of family, I want to introduce some of my family situation. I
came to Ireland in 1999, and was separated from my husband and two
children for about 7 years. Last Christmas we were finally reunited.
When I first tried to help them come to Ireland my application was
declined because I had not completed all of the requirement details. I
wanted to give up. Later, by studying the Fa, I realised that I get a
lot of benefits through my cultivation, but my family members are still
in China, and they do not know the truth. If they could come to
Ireland, they could learn the truth and might cultivate together with
me. It would be the most wonderful thing to them. Separation is
persecution from the old forces and I want to walk the path arranged by
Master. Also, harmonizing my family is a manifestation of the Fa at the
level of ordinary people. I applied again with the help of friends and
fellow practitioners. At the beginning, everything seemed fine but
after a long period of time there no progress was made. One time, when
taking part in an activity to rescue orphans of Falun Gong
practitioners, my heart was shocked and tears fell. My two children
were in China, and I could not do my duty. After going home, I knelt in
front of Master's picture and asked for help. Maybe Master saw my
suffering as they received their visa's several days later. Finally, we
were reunited. Thank you again Master!
After they came to Ireland, our whole family lived together with three
other practitioners, and our two children also went to school. Because
we were separated for 7-years, we were like strangers and needed to
once again understand one another. My two children have not lived with
me since their early days, and they had some bad habits which I
disliked very much. At the beginning, I asked them to correct their
behaviour in this way or that way. I also imposed my opinions and idea
on them. They could not accept this. Especially when the two of them
did not do well, I didn't treat them as the sentient beings, nor
educate them from the standpoint of the Fa. Instead, I always
complained about them. So, there were a lot of conflicts between us.
Every time, when I found shortcomings in my children, I never searched
Before I practised Falun Gong in Ireland, I was a kindergarten teacher
and I liked children a lot. I also got along very well with them. But
now, I found it difficult to get along with them. Fellow practitioners
saw the conflicts and kindly talked with me, but I didn't want to
listen to their suggestion. I always compared their behaviour to mine
and the conflicts became larger.
At that time, besides work and doing the three things, I seldom spent
time with my children to help them learn or to play with them. I even
did not cook for them. I always compared them with my childhood and
wanted them to be independent and to have them help me with the
housework. However, I found I was selfish and was going to extremes. I
didn't want to spend time on ordinary things, and I was afraid that
that would delay my cultivation and affect my own consummation.
Our Master said: "Many students understand only that doing the
exercises and studying the Fa are cultivation. Yes, with those you
directly engage the Fa. But as you go about truly cultivating yourself
in your day-to-day life, the society that you come into contact with is
your cultivation environment. The work and family environments that you
spend time in are both settings in which you are to cultivate
yourselves, are part of the path you must walk, are what you must
handle, and handle correctly at that. None of these should be glossed
over. When you have made it to the end, [a question would be]: How did
you travel the path that Master arranged for you? When all is said and
done, these things have to be taken into account. And in the course of
your cultivation these things have to be looked at, too. So you
shouldn't neglect anything" ("Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006")
Doesn't this relate to me?
"For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday
people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests." ("A
Cultivator is Naturally Part of It").
Yes, everything we meet with during cultivation is not accidental. It
has been a long time and I still haven't searched inside. When I looked
inside, I realised that I was cultivating "Truthfulness Compassion
Forbearance", but I didn't treat myself as a true cultivator and
required myself strictly according to this standard. I lost my temper
when the children didn't do well and I didn't like to be criticized. I
would also get worked up when I was criticized. Why could I find all
those bad things in my children. Was it accidental? Did I search
inside? Did I look inside? Which kind of attachment of mine was hit
upon? When looking deep inside, I understood that the behaviour of my
children is just my current state of cultivation, and all my stubborn
attachments were exposed completely before my children. They were a
mirror and just helped me to improve myself. For such a long time all
those attachments stayed in my own field and I missed many chances that
our Master arranged for me to improve. I don't know how much Master
endured for me.
Actually, when I truly took care of them, educated them positively,
they would feel happy even when I just did a little for them. They
became understanding and thoughtful. I remember that one day my
daughter forgot to take her lunch and I sent it to the school She was
very impressed. I may seldom take care of them but I believe that I
should think more of them while allowing them to make their own choices
because they are grown up and have their own thoughts.
There are conflicts between my husband and me from time to time as
well. They are mostly because we didn't trust each other in the past.
At the beginning, I was suspicious of him after finding out that he had
made a lot of phone calls to China. I thought that he must have had an
affair with somebody in China and he couldn't forget about her. On one
occasion, I called the kindergarten in which I used to work in China to
tell a colleague about withdrawing from CCP. This colleague told me
that he once saw my husband with a girl. Although I knew it was a test
for me, I couldn't conduct myself properly. My heart was badly stirred
up. The mentalities of suspicion, jealousy and sentimentality all came.
I couldn't calm down to study the Fa or send forth righteous thought at
all. Even my husband couldn't sleep well all night. I didn't calm down
until the next day. After sending forth righteous thought, I realised
that I didn't maintain my xinxing when I encountered the tribulation,
and let the old force take advantage of a loophole. The attachments of
suspicion and jealousy which should not be part of me were exposed; I
discovered my attachment to my husband.
Then it came about that my husband didn't trust me. I bought a car with
a male practitioner to deliver materials and other equipment for street
activities. My husband couldn't understand this or when a male
practitioner came after work to share with me and help me with some
tasks. He just didn't trust us. He thought that I was having an affair
with the head of a sinister gang. He wouldn't believe my explanation
and kept taking these to heart.
One night, a male practitioner came after work to install equipment for
me. The equipment was to clarify the truth to mainland China. My
husband was again furious, and he cried out my name from upstairs. The
practitioner had to give up and leave. When I went upstairs, there was
the smell of alcohol. He let out a torrent of abuse, was flustered and
exasperated, and he wouldn't listen to any explanation. He punched me
on the face and my eye swelled up immediately. I sat down on the bed
and kept sending forth righteous thought to eliminate any dark hands
and evil spirit of the wicked party that might be trying to control him
to wreck my family.
He calmed down after a while. He found my eye swollen, and rushed
towards me to rub it. I pulled away from him and went downstairs to
study the Fa. He followed after a while, and apologised sincerely. He
said he didn't do it on purpose. I forgave him and started to clarify
the facts to him seriously, letting go my attachment of sentimentality.
I told him about the changes in my mind and my body though cultivation.
I told him that I would never give up this precious chance. And if I
did anything not in keeping with Dafa, I would miss this chance. I
asked him to forgive me if I hadn't harmonized well. And I wished that
he would understand and support me. I would continually cultivate
myself and try to balance things better.
Then my husband said that every time before we quarreled, he felt
pressure, just like many demons were around. (I realised that these
were dark hands and demons interfering with my family and my
cultivation in Fa rectification all because of my attachments.) He also
said that he saw the Falun I sent forth when I Sent Forth Righteous
Thoughts. I told him this happened because he wouldn't believe it, so
Master let him see the Falun as a hint to him. I also told him that it
was a predestined relationship that he shouldn't miss. Now my husband
understands me and supports me more and more. Sometimes he even urges
me to study the Fa and do exercises and sometimes buys me international
call cards so that I can make truth clarification phone calls to China.
He also tells the children to do some housework to give me more time to
study the Fa and do the exercises.
Experiencing these tribulations, I enlightened to the fact that the
first thing a cultivator should achieve is not to hit back when hit, or
talk back when insulted. However, I did not achieve this. When
tribulations came, I usually couldn't maintain my xinxing, and didn't
treat myself as a cultivator, didn't look within, and couldn't withdraw
from the conflict. And then I had to deal with the next tribulation
when the last one was still not broken through. Tribulations became
larger and larger, and conflict became more and more penetrating.
Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S.
"When a problem occurs, it is because that person is
stubbornly going against the Fa principles. Go and find where the
problem lies, let go of that stubbornness, and sort
things out. When you encounter something, the best approach is not to
charge forward and contend with others, push your way to the front, and
rush forward to chase down the solution. Let go of
your attachment, take a step back, and then resolve it. (Applause) If
whenever something happens you instantly jump into
who's right, whose problem it is, and how you have done, then while on
the surface it looks like you are resolving the conflict or tension, in
reality that's not the case at all. On the surface
it looks plenty rational, but in reality that's not rational at all.
You haven't taken a step back and fully cast off your attachment, and then thought the issue over. Only after a person
calmly and peacefully withdraws from a conflict and then looks at it
can he truly resolve it."
So everything we encounter in cultivation, no matter how it looks, is a good thing. They all contain factors to help me improve.
In conflicts with my husband, many of my attachments have been exposed,
such as the attachment of suspicion, jealousy, being competitive, not
liking to be criticized, impatience and sentimentality. These conflicts
all seem to be caused by a lack of trust, but after looking inside, I
found that although I didn't actually do anything. I didn't purify
every single thought I had. Sometimes I even allowed these thoughts to
run wild, which is a big loophole.
Over one certain period, I couldn't even concentrate when sending forth
righteous thought. I had constantly sent forth righteous thought to
eliminate the demons, but my field must be not have been pure enough,
so it is made possible for the old forces to create conflicts in my
family to interfere with my cultivation during the Fa rectification. I
could not firmly recognise this. I am Master Li's disciple, and I only
want what my Master has arranged, not anything from the old forces.
Also, I should thank my husband and children, who Master has utilised
to make me realise my attachments and to help me upgrade my xinxing. Now I can really feel that harmonizing my family is also on the path that Master arranged for me, so I have to do it well.
"It is, rather, the path that Dafa disciples must take as they
cultivate. So everything that you do, be it your balancing well your
family relationships while you live among ordinary
people, balancing well your relationships in society, how you perform
at your workplace, how you conduct yourself in society, etc., none of
these are things you can just go through the motions on. All of these
are part of your cultivation format, and are serious matters."
("Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006")
Finally, I would like to share with you one of Master's poems from Hong Yin 2:
Do not slack off, keep looking within and strengthen your righteous thoughts
Be clearheaded of your disadvantages and cultivate with further advancement