Are You Kind?

Tian Cheng

PureInsight | June 27, 2010

[] While I was busy, my practitioner wife asked how she should deal with a small bug in the house. Not waiting for her to finish, I told her to just throw it out, saying to kill it if need be. Irritated, I blamed her for not handling this matter well.

She commented calmly, “Are you kind?” I said it wasn't a matter of whether or not I was kind; the bug had no business being in the room. My tone of voice was impatient.

My wife said, “Do you treat me kindly?” I realized that she wasn't talking about the bug; instead, she wanted to know whether I had treated her kindly. I was stupefied. Am I kind?

While busy, I simply failed to understand what she was talking about and thus assumed an answer, translating as a lack of respect for others. Besides, my incensed tone was unkind.

I looked within to find why I had behaved this way. I treat others and strangers with courtesy. Why had I not treated my practitioner wife with whom I live closely the same way? I have a loophole! I hadn't treated her as a practitioner and was too casual. The root for my casual demeanor: I didn't regard myself as a practitioner. I considered the relationship between spouses more important than that of between fellow practitioners. This is a manifestation of not placing Dafa as top priority.

This also reflects my lacking solidity in cultivation; all the loopholes are thoroughly exposed at home. I do not regard the home environment the same as the outside environment. My behavior at home seems less of a concern as that on the outside and is the truest manifestation of my mindset, and something that I often overlooked. I consider home as the place to be relaxed and not an environment for cultivation.

A cultivator, man or woman, should always be good and considerate of others, and shouldn’t behave one way at home and another way outside.

As Master said, "A Dafa disciple should consider others first in everything he does." (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston”)

Presenting a good image outside one’s home is for others to see and is phony when the behavior at home is bad.

I need to correct the relationship and consider the home as a cultivation environment and solidly cultivate myself without being superficial. I need to truly change my genuine nature and reach sublimation deeply within my heart.

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