Resolving Family Conflicts With Kindness

Dafa Disciple in China

PureInsight | December 11, 2013

[] When family conflicts arise, how do we Dafa practitioners deal with them? The evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has systematically indoctrinated the Chinese people with very aggressive ways in dealing with people in conflicts. Whenever there is a conflict, the Chinese people have been told by the CCP to always look for faults in the other party. As a result, when problems occur, the Chinese people tend to complain and criticize everyone else except themselves. They often emphasize that they are the victims and are correct. Sometimes, the Chinese people will even resort to violence to try to make the other party yield. It’s very obvious we Falun Dafa practitioners should never adopt such ways in dealing with any conflict, because such approaches will not only fail to resolve issues, but most often will aggravate the situation.

As Dafa practitioners, we should use the kindness we have cultivated from the practice of Falun Dafa to deal with any conflict, including family conflicts. Only through kindness can we get the problems addressed. Following are a few real stories that had happened to some local Dafa practitioners in our area. These practitioners all used kindness to deal with potential family conflicts and the outcomes were amazing.

One senior lady has been very diligent in doing truth clarification work. Her husband, on the other hand, had some concerns for his wife. Whenever she was about to go out to do clarification work, she would first hide various materials in a safe place so her husband wouldn’t find them. If the husband saw the materials, he might stop her clarification work. One day, she had sorted out all the materials and hid them under the front windowsill of the family house. The lady went out on some other business and when she returned, the truth clarification materials were gone. The lady immediately realized what had happened. Her husband must have found them and now he was hiding them somewhere. The lady knew what to do next. She found her husband in a room and asked: “Did some thief visit our house?” The husband was taken aback at first and then replied: “No.” The lady continued: “Then, how come I couldn’t find a package that I left under the front windowsill earlier?” The husband hurriedly said that he didn’t see anything. The lady asked the husband with a calm and kind voice: “Hey, isn’t it true that you can do some magic predications? Why don’t you use your wizardry and see where that package might be now?” The husband indeed appeared to start to use his magic and counting his fingers he then said that the package was in another room. The lady went directly to that room and found the package there. She took the package with her and went out to do the clarification work.

Another female Falun Dafa practitioner had just started to practice recently. The husband of this new practitioner was not very supportive as he had been heavily influenced by the CCP’s propaganda. He was afraid that his wife might be imprisoned. As a result, the husband was very angry when he saw his wife practice Falun Dafa at home. One day, this new practitioner was again doing the Falun Dafa exercises and her husband saw and threw a fit. The practitioner didn’t say a word and simply waited for him to calm down. After the husband calmed down, the practitioner said: “Look, prior to my practice of Falun Dafa, we used to fight all the time. I would never yield to you. Now that I am cultivating Falun Dafa, I will always try to follow Master’s instructions to look inward whenever there is a conflict. I want to know what I have done wrong; I don’t want to fight with you anymore.” The husband nodded: “Yes, you are different now. You don’t want to lower yourself, you want to elevate yourself instead.”

One day, this practitioner’s son coughed all day long while in kindergarten. When the practitioner went to pick up her son, the kindergarten nurse told the practitioner about his coughing and asked the practitioner to send her son to the hospital for a check-up. The practitioner brought her son home and told her husband what had happened. The practitioner didn’t want to go to the hospital right away and that irritated her husband very much. The practitioner said to the son: “There are two options now. The first one is to murmur ‘Falun Dafa is good’, ‘Zhen Shan Ren is good’; the second one is to go visit the hospital. Son, which option would you like to take?” The boy thought for a while and replied: “Mom, I want to recite ‘Falun Dafa is good’, ‘Zhen Shan Ren is good’.” After dinner that day, the son was laying on his bed. The practitioner started to read stories from those truth clarification materials about ancient traditions in China as well as stories of those people who had avoided disasters due to their belief in Falun Dafa. The son listened attentively to those stories and kept saying how wonderful they were. When it was almost ten o’clock, the son still wanted to hear more stories. The practitioner told her son to sleep because he needed to go to kindergarten the next day. The son fell asleep and that night he didn’t cough at all. The next morning, the husband was completely amazed. The first words that came out from his mouth right after he got up were: “I am going to watch TV now, you go ahead and do your Fa studies.” Ever since then, the husband has supported his wife.

In the article “Clearheadedness” from Essentials for Further Advancement, Master says: “I have not only taught you Dafa, but have also left you my demeanor. While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could! If others are not convinced deep down inside but only superficially comply, they will still conduct themselves according to their own will when no one is around to see them.”

In “Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Master also says: “The greatest manifestation of shan is compassion, and it is an expression of tremendous energy. It can disintegrate all that is not right.” Master continues on in the lecture: “The greater the compassion, the greater the power. Human society never had true principles to guide it before, so man has not resolved his problems via shan. Instead, man has always resolved things through fighting and conquest, and that has thus become man’s norm. If man wants to become divine and transcend the human state, then he must forsake that frame of mind and use compassion to resolve things.”

At this critical moment of saving sentient beings, there are still some Dafa practitioners who have not yet turned their family problems around. Practitioners’ families are also sentient beings that need to be saved. In order to solve family problems, we will have to use our compassion. The pure mercy that we have cultivated from the practice of Falun Dafa is very powerful. As long as we use our compassion to deal with family issues, we will be able to solve such issues and our families may be saved.

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