PureInsight | October 15, 2018
[PureInsight.org] I would like to share my shortcomings, circuitous paths, experiences, and lessons from my cultivation these past few years. It is to encourage Fa-rectification fellow disciples to be diligent together, walk our remaining paths well, take less circuitous paths, and minimize interference and persecution. Master said in Fa Teaching Given at the New York Fa Conference Celebrating the 25th Anniversary of Dafa’s Spreading, “Of course, divine beings cherish greatly the Dafa disciples who have journeyed through the years of trials and tribulations, and I keep saying that those who have made it through from July 20, 1999, are extraordinary. So as a disciple yourself, you should cherish yourself and your journey, and rid yourself of anything that is filthy or bad. And by doing so you will achieve the Way through your righteous enlightenment that you established, and it will be what earns you your majestic virtue. And it will decide, for each of you, your heavenly rank.”
Only recently did I realize the severity of my attachment to showing off, which would display itself in multiple ways. Master specifically discussed the attachment to showing off in Zhuan Falun, and he also mentioned it many times in other lectures. Of all the attachments, Master has discussed the attachment to showing off the most. I therefore enlightened that the attachment to showing off is a huge problem for cultivators. Every time Master brings up the attachment to showing off, he would discuss its multiple manifestations in a serious way. Master said in Zhuan Falun, “Wanting to show off is a strong attachment, an awful attachment, and one that someone with spiritual aspirations should break.”
Dafa disciples live and work in ordinary societies and therefore cannot avoid interacting with ordinary people. This is especially true of Dafa disciples who still work. For me, working with ordinary people occupies about half of my day. Because I cultivate Dafa, Master gave me wisdom. Dafa disciples can easily solve many things normally considered difficult for ordinary people. Because we focus on our work and take our responsibilities seriously, we have high efficiency and quality. Colleagues above and below all admire us.
Calmly looking inwards, I found that the attachment to showing off is often interwoven with many other attachments. Its root is very deep and by eliminating this, other attachments will surface and can be dealt with as we progress with our cultivation.
The most obvious case is its relation with the attachment to fame. Showing off is in essence a manifestation of seeking fame. Master said in Zhuan Falun, “A tendency to show off can be a part of many actions, including even good deeds.” I teach a professional skills course at a vocational school. Sometimes if my courses are brilliant, my boss, other teachers, and students will express their praise, which makes me very delighted. The academic leader of the school will also encourage new teachers to sit in on my lectures, which makes me even prouder. I even take photos of what I write on the board and upload them to the QQ platform hoping that other teachers will notice. When discussing with other teachers, my lofty attitude also reveals itself when I show off.
I also frequently publish tutorials on professional technical forums in order to show off rather than to sincerely share with and learn from my peers. I can understand such complex problems and share them with others; how amazing I am! When someone follows me, I am very happy and this again reveals my vanity.
The attachment to showing off also reveals itself when I make truth clarification material. Fellow practitioners also think I do a good job: I am busy at work, yet I make many truth clarification materials, help practitioners upload lists of names that have quit the CCP, download material for other practitioners, and also teach other practitioners how to print. I feel very capable and amazing. These are all manifestations of seeking fame. Master said in Essentials for Further Advancement – A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It, “For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.”3
Furthermore, showing off is deeply tied to sentimentality. Showing off always manifests in the ordinary world with the purpose of validation by others. Under the influence of lust and desire, I may inadvertently show off in front of the opposite sex and become more excited when the other person notices and I will get carried away. If the other person gives a compliment, then I feel as if the other person understands me, and I view the other person as perfect. I would also create situations for the other person to notice me. I like music and play the guzheng. Every day I play “Falun Dafa is Good,” “De Du,” “Deng Gui Tu,” and other Dafa pieces to encourage myself to be more diligent. However a month ago, a female teacher at school began learning the guzheng every day at noon in the office. Out of a consideration for inappropriate interactions with the opposite sex, I did not approach her, but my attachment to showing off led me to upload some beginner guzheng material to QQ for her to notice.
After I realized these things, I began to check myself. I stopped using QQ and professional technology forums. I became more aware of my behavior in front of colleagues and fellow practitioners. I talked less, listened more, and showed off less. I also noticed that a strong attachment to showing off led me to not watch my speech. I would talk about anything I did for fear of not being recognized by others. I only talked about my strengths and covered up my shortcomings. I also showed off in a selective manner. Several of my articles were accepted by Minghui and Zhengjian, but I did not want nearby practitioners to know that I wrote them. Why not? Because I only wrote about my shortcomings. My vanity caused me to not want to expose my deeper attachments and bad notions around nearby practitioners. I only wanted practitioners to see my good side. At this point, I mocked myself, and am ashamed at my low realm. Would a great god show off? Also compassionate Master saved me. It is my mission and responsibility to assist Master in Fa-rectification and save sentient beings. What is there to show off? Everything I have was given by Master. Master said in Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference, “Some are more capable when it comes to one thing, others with another--you definitely shouldn't let your thoughts run wild based on that. You say that you have such great abilities and so on and so forth, but that was all bestowed upon you by the Fa! Actually, it wouldn't work if you failed to attain that level of abilities. Fa-rectification required your wisdom to reach that point, so you definitely shouldn't think that you're so capable. Some practitioners want me to check out their abilities and skills. But actually, what I think is, all of that was given by me, so there's no need to look.”
A practitioner should do things in good faith and humility, maintaining a calm heart under all circumstances whether interacting with ordinary people or practitioners. This is the ideal state. Only by solidly cultivating and eliminating vanity and zealotry can we truly elevate our realm.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/245131