PureInsight | December 18, 2018
[PureInsight.org] The in-law relationship has been very complicated, subtle, and hard from ancient times. Sometimes some silly trifles might cause the whole family bedlam. Many people got headache but felt helpless. It was not surprising that divorce happened because of the incompatible in-law relationship.
I had a similar issue at the beginning of my four to five years’ marriage. The whole family was often like a battlefield filled with smoke. Because I was a selfish, indifferent and narrow-minded person, I couldn’t listen to the criticism from others. Even if I was wrong, I wouldn’t allow others to point out, and not to mention that my mother-in-law had a sharp tongue. Whenever she gave me yell, I always fought back without lying down even when I was trembling and cold because of anger. I had left home one night because my mother-in-law prevented my husband from lending money to my brother. I also had an awful fight with my husband just because he gave $10 more to his Mom. Then I went back to my Mom’s house, leaving my few months old baby at home. Because of the inconsistency in taking care of the baby, I turned against my mother-in-law several times. Looking back, it was really miserable!
Fortunately, I practiced Falun Dafa since February 1998! I gradually understood a lot of unsolved problems by continuous Fa study. I tried to follow Master Li Hongzhi's teaching "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" to be kind to everyone! Since then, my life has undergone tremendous changes and my daily life has been easy and happy! I was very peaceful without blaming others or caring about their faults. Even if I was really wronged, I learned to tolerate. One night, my mother-in-law came with her niece. On entering the room, she complained that I wronged her grandson. The thing was our second brother’s son enrolled in my school. My colleague reminded me that he seemed to have a girlfriend. I told my husband; but didn’t realize my mother-in-law was listening. Instead of guiding that boy positively, she came to blame me for making it up. (A few years later, it turned out that they were really in a relationship at the time.) Although I was very wronged and angry at the time, I remembered Master’s lectures in Zhuan Falun, “As a practitioner, the first thing you should be able to do is to not fight back when you are beaten or sworn at—you must be tolerant. Otherwise, what kind of practitioner will you be?” I didn’t fight back as before. After they left, I couldn't help crying. My husband panicked at the side. If I didn’t practice Dafa, it would be definitely a battle; even my husband would be my punching bag. How can I suffer this kind of anger? I also endured several times in similar situations. However, I did try hard to bear it, but still not in a calm mood.
As my cultivation continued, I became more and more open-minded; and understood the relationship between people. So I could stand on the side of my mother-in-law to be kind to her. Once a colleague couldn’t understand why I purchased clothing for my mother-in-law. She asked me suspiciously, “Your mother-in-law has four daughter-in-laws, why you are the only one to buy her clothing? Do you want to benefit more?” I knew she couldn’t believe it. If I didn't practice Dafa, I couldn't do it either!
We used to share the same yard with my mother-in-law. In 2001, we bought a house. My husband told me not to let my mother-in-law stay with us because he suffered a lot from us fighting. On the day we moved, my mother-in-law came to me with tears and said, "I hate to part with the grandson. He needs to be picked up and dropped off every day. How could you handle it since you all need to work?” My mother-in-law had a deep affection for my son because she took care of him since he was born. Taking my son away equaled to emptying her heart. She would rather stay with us by leaving her husband at home. I could understand her and agreed without hesitation. My husband looked helplessly because he didn’t believe we could get along with each other. In fact, we were perfect together. I always required myself with truthfulness-compassion-forbearance by looking inward in front of the contradictions. As Master told us in Falun Gong, “Cultivation focuses inward, and a cultivator should cultivate him or herself and look within to find the source of problems. You should work hard on yourself and try to improve in the areas you haven’t done enough with.” My father-in-law came to join us at the beginning of winter. My mother-in-law cooked and my father-in-law was responsible for picking up and dropping off my son. My husband and I felt relaxed. It was so good without any contradictions.
Later, my father-in-law and mother-in-law bought a single house nearby to us. A dozen years passed, the walls in the house were a little dirty. Since the old couple loved cleanliness, they planned to scrape the house. Scraping house was a dirty and tiring job, and they were too old. None of their sons would like to help. I talked to my husband about helping them. But he didn’t respond. I could understand that he had a taxi job, and even no weekends off. Although his three brothers were more relaxed, they wouldn’t help. Later, my husband and I finished scraping the house within one day with the help of two hired young guys.
When my husband took the two young men to lunch, my father-in-law wanted to pay for the lunch. I told him not to worry about it. One guy asked if I was his daughter. My father-in-law and the mother-in-law answered happily: "She is our daughter-in-law." The guy was very surprised. During the middle of the day, my mother-in-law called our older brother and our third brother for help. They came to take a look and left. I felt unbalanced and thought, "Why don't you come to help?" But I immediately thought that I was a cultivator. I should require myself with high standards, not like ordinary people. Most people in the current society were struggling for their own children. Who could think about their parents? If I didn't practice Dafa, I couldn't really honor my parents, not to mention my mother-in-law and father-in-law.
My father-in-law has always admired his neighbor an elderly lady because her daughter took turns to clean her house at the end of each year. I thought I could help even though I was not her daughter. Plus it would be very dangerous to let them clean the house, wipe the window by climbing up and down. So it was my responsibility to clean their house since last year.
Two months ago, my mother-in-law fell in the toilet. It was very dangerous for her because of her nearly 200 pounds weight. Fortunately, she believed in Falun Dafa and shouted at that time, "Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness, compassion, and Forbearance are good! Master saves me!" Then she slowly stood up and the whole family witnessed the magic of Dafa! I believed I could do something for her. Then I bought two underwears and two pairs of comfortable lightweight shoes. My mother-in-law was very happy and wanted to give me money. Since I didn’t accept, she believed I was silly because her money was for everyone. I believed it was moral obligation to look after them. It was from the heart not for the money. Master told us in Zhuan Falun, “While we’re cultivating in the ordinary world we’re supposed to respect our parents and be good to them, just as we should teach our kids and discipline them. In every situation we should be good to others and be kind to people, let alone your family members. We should treat everyone the same, be good to our parents and our kids, and always be considerate of others. Then your heart isn’t a selfish one when you do that, but a compassionate one—it’s compassion.”
Cultivation in Dafa is amazing. I can’t imagine I am the same person who raised yell ten years ago just because my husband gave his Mother $10 more. I purchased all expensive stuff such as washer, down jacket, sweater, thermal underwear, glasses of 500 Yuan, etc. Sure, my mother-in-law is treating me better trusts me. She gives me her ID, her cash and bank details just in case. It is more like a modern version of the myth because I couldn’t imagine this kind of relationship between us before.
"Truthfulness-compassion-forbearance" now illuminates my soul, and dispels the fighting smoke between us. It makes our relationship so beautiful and harmonious. Thanks to Falun Dafa! Thank you, Master Li Hongzhi!
Translated from http://www.zhengjian.org/node/246503