Hidden Mentality of Showing Off

Qing Feng

PureInsight | November 29, 2019

[PureInsight.org] A long time ago, I saw a movie about how an eloquent lawyer argued in court and won. I liked the movie very much, and I still remembered certain lines from the movie. Since then, I have fallen in love with watching movies about lawsuits and courts. Watching this type of movie always excites me.

After the persecution started, I actively clarified the truth. I was unfortunately arrested. When I was in the detention center, the scene in the movie lingered in my mind. I imagined how well I would do if I went to court. Therefore, when I actually went to court, I did what I saw in the movie and did not really care how long I would be sentenced. Several years after, I was released. I became passive because of the time I lost in cultivation. Nonetheless, I was still proud of how eloquent and well-behaved I was in court. After I restarted cultivation, I imagined again what I would do if I went to court. Consequently, I was arrested and sentenced again.

After I got released, I looked within. I realized I did not study enough Fa. I did not truly cultivate myself. Instead, I equated truth clarification projects to cultivation. I therefore did not have enough righteous thoughts. I then started to memorize the Fa. During the process of Fa memorization, I realized my hidden mentality of showing off. When I was in jail, I sometimes consciously or unconsciously talked to people about my experiences in court. I liked when people gave me thumbs up. Is that not the mentality of showing off? It is not merely the mentality of showing off but also the attachment of pursuit. I pursued persecutions. I wanted to cultivate when facing persecutions to show my abilities; in other words, I did what the old forces wanted me to do.

I then realized such pursuing thoughts have a root in my mind. Even though my celestial eye was not open, I felt that I was a Christian and a Buddhist monk in my previous lives. I did the same thing when facing persecutions. Such thoughts were rooted in my mind, which was skillfully arranged by the old forces. After I realized this point, I negated those thoughts: Those thoughts are not my true thoughts. I should not even be persecuted. I should not even think of how to behave well in court.

Chinese version: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/253684


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