My So-Called Kindness

Man Cang

PureInsight | May 2, 2005

[] I have been cultivating in Falun Gong for five years. I have always thought of myself as a kind person.

On Saturday March 6, 2005, fellow Falun Gong practitioners informed me that the German government had scheduled to deport Mr. and Mrs. Jiang Renzheng and their two kids, a family of new practitioners, back to China from the Frankfurt International Airport. At first, I decided to go to the Frankfurt Airport to clarify the truth about Falun Gong on the behalf of the Jiang family, but then I remembered the train ticket to Frankfurt was very expensive. "Going to the airport is just the same as sending forth righteous thoughts for them at home." I thought to myself. Thus I stayed at home instead of going to the Frankfurt Airport.

Later I learned that Mr. Jiang has been sentenced to three years in Benxi Forced Labor Camp in Benxi, Liaoning Province after the Jiang family was deported back to China.

Today a fellow practitioner called and told me that a Falun Gong practitioner in UK would be deported back to China this afternoon. At first I decided to call all the fellow practitioners I knew and asked them to pitch in and help rescue the practitioner. But at that point, I looked down on my cellular phone and saw that my signal was weak and I was out of the home network of my cellular phone plan. I would incur a lot of roaming charges if I made these phone calls from my cellular phone. "Perhaps all the practitioners in Europe have always learned the news," I thought. So I decided not to call anyone and started sending forth righteous thoughts at home.

But for some reason I had difficulty calming down and concentrating on sending forth righteous thoughts. I remembered an ancient Chinese story regarding Zeng Zi (or Zeng Shen), one of the best disciples of Confucius. "One day a guest came to their house when Shen went to the mountains to gather firewood. His mother didn't have anything in the house to entertain the guest. She longed for Shen to return. When he still didn't return after a while, she bit her finger, drawing blood. At that moment, Shen suddenly felt a pain in his heart. He bundled up the firewood that he had gathered and returned home immediately. Kneeling outside of their front door, he asked his mother what the matter was. His mother said: 'A guest came unexpectedly. I bit my finger to alert you.'" [1]

I immediately started crying. When I run into people who have not learned or accepted the truth about Falun Gong, I clarify the truth to them with compassion. When I read the stories about Buddha Sakyamuni that Teacher told us, my mind is filled with respect and admiration. But why do I repeatedly feel nonchalant when fellow practitioners are in danger and in dire need of help? Why do I always put my own interests first? Where is my so-called kindness?

I was enveloped with a strong feeling of sadness and shame. I decided to share my story with fellow practitioners.

[1] Twenty-Four Examples of Filial Piety (3): Zeng Shen's Heartache When His Mother Bit Her Finger:

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