PureInsight | July 2, 2006
[PureInsight.org] In "Teaching
the Fa in Canada, 2006", Master says, "Many students only understand
that doing the exercises and studying the Fa are cultivation. Yes, with
those you directly engage the Fa. But as you go about truly cultivating
yourself in your day-to-day life, the society that you come into
contact with is your cultivation environment. The work and family
environments that you spend time in are both settings in which you are
to cultivate yourselves, are part of the path you must walk, are what
you must handle, and handle correctly at that. None of these should be
glossed over." I know this passage of the Fa points out the shortcoming
which I have not broken through in my cultivation.
I obtained the Fa almost five years ago. I know that I have been cultivating according to the Fa during the time and my xinxing
has improved. My friends all say that I have changed a lot. But there
is only one thing which I have not handled well--- I do not know how to
deal with my child. Probably it is very easy for other people to deal
with their children, but for me it has been hard.
When I first obtained the Fa, my child was just one year old. Since I
started to cultivate, I have tried to follow the progress of the
Fa-rectification with fellow practitioners. Therefore, during the first
several years of my cultivation, I had spent lots of time studying the
Fa and clarifying the truth, but I completely neglected to take care of
my child. Because my son was too young to express his discontentment, I
didn't realize that I was not doing well in taking care of him until my
husband and friends reminded me. I realized that I had completely made
light of my role as a housewife. When my child interrupted my Dafa
projects, I would always feel impatient and my ordinary thoughts would
all emerge. I have been trying to improve my shortcomings, but whenever
any conflict from staying with my child comes up, I can not maintain my
xinxing, and feel regretful afterwards.
Some months ago, one day when my child was playing with his classmates,
an accident took place. He got a deep cut on his face and received
several stitches. At that moment, I told him not to blame the
wrongdoer. I felt I should use the accident to teach him to maintain a
Dafa practitioner's xinxing.
But later, I thought about this accident again. I remember that my
child has been through many slight or severe tests of sickness, but why
was he injured so severely this time? Is there any problem I should
look inward myself. Later on when I was reading "Teaching the Fa in the
City of Los Angeles" concerning the issue of Dafa disciples paying
their debts, Master says that he will protect Dafa disciples and "what
happens will seem threatening but you will not be in any danger." I
know I was wrong and Masters is using a heavy hammer to make me
understand I should take
better care of my child.
Where does the problem originate from then? I thought about this issue
for several months, but still I was not doing completely well. I didn't
realize my problem until I studied "Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006." I
realized that the problem is that I never consider my child as part of
my cultivation environment from the bottom of my heart. I was not aware
that my child is actually a certain arrangement in my cultivation.
Therefore, it seems that I have been looking after my kid, but actually
I always felt that my freedom was restricted because of him. To put it
plainly, the problem is caused by my selfishness. Because I had not
positioned my heart correctly and dealt with the situation in the
context of the Fa, whenever a conflict between my child and I emerged,
I just used human thoughts to grind my teeth and bear it reluctantly.
Since then, I've tried to change my notions and accept my child as a
part of my cultivation environment, something that I am supposed to
face and deal with, and I feel the situation has been improved.
When studying the Fa today, I realize that, after living in countless
unnamed delusions throughout all our lives, we have been carrying many
attachments which we are even unaware of. Perhaps Master arranges a
little Dafa disciple besides me to help me dig up my attachments which
are actually hidden deeply. I want to thank Master for his arrangement
and also thank the little disciple for his compassionate tolerance of
me in these years.