rooting out my every thought of lust

An Overseas Practitioner

PureInsight | March 30, 2008

[PureInsight.org] Being a young female practitioner, I am too shy to speak my mind on lust and emotional attachments. Because of the influence of reading many love stories when I was young, I not only yearned for romantic love and a happy marriage, but also was accustomed to the habit of masturbation. I had much curiosity about sex. After reading many pornographic books, I had created layer upon layer of thought karma.

I used the excuse that we cultivated ourselves by maximally conforming to ordinary society for having intimate body contact with my boyfriend, even though we hadn't done anything beyond that. But I was emotionally attached to the feeling of intimacy, even thou I felt it was improper, but I still embraced it and was unwilling to let go. I used the excuse that we would be married as the excuse to exonerate myself.

In my daily surroundings, I not only looked at handsome guys but, also, I envied the pretty women. Furthermore, when the opposite sex praised me, paid attention to me, or showed interest in me, I couldn't help having a delighted and hot feeling. I was filled with joy and felt I had charm. In order to attract people, I spent more time on make-up and keeping up body maintenance to assert myself.

I was aware of my emotional attachments and lustful feelings for a long time. They made me overly emphasize my image and have filthy dreams. But I couldn't make the decision to look at my problem. Not only I was absent minded while sending forth righteous thoughts, but also I couldn't concentrate on Fa study.

Master said in "Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference:"

"Your path is, and I think you've all seen this now, actually very narrow. If you deviate just a little bit you won't measure up to the standard of a Dafa disciple. There's only one very righteous path we can walk on, and we can't deviate even just a little bit, because this is required by history, and required by the lives of sentient beings in the future cosmos. The cosmos in the future can't have any deviation or errors due to your having omissions during the Fa-rectification, so it's important for you to walk each and every step well during your own validating the Fa. It only looks as if it's ordinary. Don't leave any stain or regret on the path that you walk when you validate the Fa and during this period when you establish your mighty virtue. Those can never be erased."

The Fa-rectification is near the last stage. If I continue to let my attachments to go on, not only I will destroy myself, but also infinite numbers of sentient beings in the colossal firmament. Master has, again and again, given me hints with great compassion. I know I need to try hard to catch up and not disappoint Master's arduous expectations for and salvation of sentient beings.

Now that I have enlightened to this, I need to act on it. I need to pay attention to every single thought and constantly resist and expel any attachments to emotion, lust, selfishness, and other thoughts not in keeping with the Fa. I need to purify my own dimensions at all times and not have any human notions. I must recognize the meaning of my coming to this world. It is not to pursue a happy life or to validate myself.

Master pulled us out of hell and gave us every thing we have. Any thought of validating ourselves is filthy and lowly. I will not indulge in my attachments and add difficulties to the Fa-rectification. When I do not do well, I am actually helping the old forces. Not purifying my own dimension will create difficulties for fellow practitioners.

During this final stage of the Fa rectification, the requirements of Dafa practitioners are high. Any human notion needs to be eliminated, as any attachment cannot be brought to heaven. Any human mind will prevent us from ascending. I need to be clear and be responsible for sentient beings and myself and walk righteously on my final path.

Translated from:
http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2008/3/23/51913.html