PureInsight | May 14, 2010
[PureInsight.org] I am a Western practitioner who received the Fa in late 2006. Upon receiving the Fa, I immediately felt that it was good but quickly developed a strong attachment to over-joyousness and zealotry. From my understanding, Master has said that being overjoyed is an attachment that demons can easily take advantage of, and this became alarmingly apparent in my case. For the three years or so that I have been cultivating, I have been interfered with to the point of almost giving up several times and wanting to take my own life. I have felt that I was letting Master and Dafa down and wasn't worthy of being saved. Several times I "walked on fire and entered the demon" and I am so ashamed for not paying closer attention to Fa study and eliminating my strong thought karma with righteous thoughts.
This all changed last week, when I finally managed to quit smoking. I began enlightening and gaining levels at a rate that I was awestruck to experience. Master gave me Guanding to purify my body several times over the course of a couple of days and I felt warm all over, and safe and comforted for the first time in ages. Master's Fashen said to me, "What are you doing stuck at the Arhat level? Enlighten to it! Enlighten to it!" So I enlightened and again Master said, "What are you doing stuck at the Tathagata level? Enlighten to it! Enlighten to it!" A fellow practitioner told me recently that Tathagatas are the highest level of Buddhas that the ordinary humans are allowed to know about. We, as Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples, all come from immensely higher realms of different universes and unitary paradises. A Tathagata is a small Buddha compared to a True Cultivator of the Fa-Rectification Period in this—the Age of the Law's End.
Unfortunately, I spent the better part of the first three years of my cultivation failing the lust test over and over again. Master waited patiently for me to enlighten to it. I was being interfered with by the Old Forces and demons and meddling deities to the point where I began questioning whether I was a superior person or not. I recently enlightened that all of the True Cultivators in the Age of the Law's End are superior people! Master says in Zhuan Falun, "When a wise person hears the Tao, this person will practice it diligently. When an average person hears it, this person will practice it on and off. When a foolish person hears it, this person will laugh at it loudly. If this person doesn’t laugh at it loudly, it’s not the Tao." This passage of scripture helped me enlighten that I was, in fact, a superior person. I've always had a heart for cultivation and Master says to us in scripture that, "I only look at your heart." I just had such strong attachments and such massive thought karma from lusting and doing drugs in my youth that I couldn't tell my own True Nature from my demon nature. For the longest time, I thought my demon nature was me. This is, of course, not true. What is the real you is your Primordial Spirit, your Main Awareness. That's the real you and it's important that you're always aware that it's your Main Awareness that's cultivating. So this past week has been filled with great enlightenment and I would like to take this opportunity to share with my fellow practitioners what I have learned and enlightened to, on my attachments, emotions and desires: mainly fear, lust, jealousy and anger, which I had problems with throughout my human life and later in my Dafa cultivation.
I would also like to say a few things about eliminating thought karma that I hope will help those that suffer like I did. I would like to reassure fellow practitioners from what I have enlightened to that even if you do not do the Three Things well or cultivate yourself well for a time, if you have the pre-destined relationship with the Fa, Master will wait for you to catch up. Reading articles from fellow practitioners on Pureinsight.org and Clearwisdom.net helped me a lot. I would strongly like to recommend a series of articles entitled "What a Western Practitioner Saw in Other Dimensions" written by a fellow practitioner named Long Long (which means “Dragon” in Chinese). These articles are posted on the Pureinsight.org website (see the category, “Cultivation Stories”). I am immensely grateful to Long Long and his wife for writing and posting these articles, as they helped me a lot in understanding the things I had experienced and seen in other dimensions. I am one of those practitioners who cultivates with the Third Eye open and it has been tremendously difficult to distinguish Righteous Fa and Master's Fashen from the fake Fashen of the Old Forces and meddling deities, demonic interference, and most of all, my strong thought karma.
On a happy note, a fellow practitioner and I have been talking about our Within-The-Three-Realms cultivations this past week and together we have made diligent progress and are now both getting ready to leave the Five Elements! Isn't it marvelous? (Please forgive my strong attachment to showing off; I am working on eliminating it.) We helped each other by speaking about our attachments and experiences in cultivation and I strongly recommend that if you have not stepped forward yet, you should speak to other practitioners about why you are having problems stepping forward and validating the Fa. Master is waiting for you!
I also just wanted to share that it is completely possible to succeed at cultivation even if you haven't done well for a time. Some things I have seen in other dimensions have helped me, while other things have been interference from the Old Forces, and I have slowly begun learning how to tell the difference between them since they all "sound the same" sometimes. This has been particularly true with the demon of lust (si). That demon can disguise itself as anything and it has tricked me into thinking it was Master. In my state of strong interference and thought karma, the demon of lust was being used by the Old Forces to trick me and lead me astray. For months at a time I would unwittingly follow the Old Forces arrangement, not having completely rejected it in my heart. My righteous thoughts were not strong and I was not doing the Three Things well at all. I had a strong attachment to fear, sometimes panicking and not knowing what to do. Desperation became an attachment also. So did zealotry and becoming overjoyed, two attachments that will hinder you and allow demons to utilize these loopholes to persecute you. Don't let the evil gain a hold on you!
I would like to say a few things on lust and fear that I have enlightened to. Please correct any wrong thoughts, as my level is still quite limited.
Lust is a trickster and it lies and deceives. Of course, it's an evil demon but it's one of the worst! My strong attachment to lust had me fail Master's lust tests over and over again but Master's Fashen reassured me and said, "Master can administer the deadly test as many times as He sees fit!" Lust can present itself not only as (for me as I am male) a naked woman, but also as a family member that "cares for you" or a fake Fashen or any loophole in your xinxing that the Old Forces can find. It is one of the filthiest things, this demon, and my strong attachment to smoking, which is a desire, gave lust and the Old Forces the loopholes they needed to persecute and trick me into almost stopping cultivation entirely. Luckily, I've enlightened that my enlightenment quality and base (genji) are good, so Master has reassured me that the evil never stood a chance against me. I just had to strengthen my righteous thoughts and get rid of my strong thought karma. Master waited patiently for me, in His boundless compassion and forbearance.
Finally, last week, I had sharpened my will into helping me quit smoking! And like I said, after I quit smoking I enlightened and raised my xinxing very rapidly. I knew Master was urging me on and in His infinite and boundless compassion. He had forgiven me for my past mistakes and just wanted me to enlighten as quickly as possible so that I could perform my duties in other dimensions as was arranged in pre-destiny. My vows awaited fulfilling and Master reminded me that we have been here in delusion for billions of years. We, the Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples, descended together and followed Master into the slumber of delusion, only to be awakened when our pre-destined time arrived.
A few thoughts on fear: The way I see it, "Fear is the mind killer," and an attachment to fear can wreak havoc with your cultivation, as it allows evil to grab you. Master says in Hong Yin, Volume II (Translation Version A), "What's to Fear?" that, "Should you have fear, it will seize upon you. If thoughts are righteous, evil will collapse.” Several times during my Within-The-Three-Realms cultivation, I became possessed by demons, and they were riding me like a donkey and telling me to do things against the Fa that were just awfully base and evil, deprived. This was all because of my strong attachments to fear, doubt and suspicion. (They go hand in hand, these attachments. They are all manifestations of a weak resolve and lack of steadfastness and firm belief in Master.) The Master-Disciple bond was weakened by this, shaking my belief in Master when I could no longer hear his Fashen clearly over the noise that the though karma was making in my mind. (Lust and anger create massive thought karma; be aware of this!) If you have a problem with an attachment to fear, the only way to resolve it is to speak with other practitioners about what you are afraid of and get their point of view, and of course study Fa on a daily basis, and study with a calm mind. Sending forth righteous thoughts at the allotted times daily is also quite essential as it purifies your mind and strengthens the Main Awareness. A fellow practitioner recently taught me to read Zhuan Falun aloud, which helped a lot. In my current cultivation state, when we were reading aloud, I saw Falun rotate and fly out of our mouths with each and every word.
Like I said earlier, I am one of those practitioners that cultivates with their Third Eye open and I recently enlightened that my Third Eye was opened by a passing-by Master when I was but seven or eight years old. I went through life, my teens and early twenties, thinking that, "Everyone sees things in their mind's eye like I do," which was of course not the case. I have gone my entire life as a human before I received the Fa and Master woke me out of delusion thinking that people experienced the world the same way I did. I have had many disheartening experiences in learning that this is not the case, that like Master says, "almost everyone is born with karma built upon karma, and everyone’s body has quite a lot of karma" (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four), and this strong karma blocks them from hearing the Fa that is being spread by Master and us Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples. My father (in this lifetime) is unfortunately one of those people, and he is very angry, selfish and stubborn. Therefore, I inherited those attachments from being brought up in a way that was tough and very challenging and patience-trying. I have tried to clarify the truth to him but he thinks Dafa is "all nonsense" and he doesn't believe in anything spiritual at all. Master's Fashen has told me time and time again that "it's not his time, give it a rest, leave him to live his human life to the fullest, treat him with compassion and forbearance and just watch as he is reborn and saved at a later time in the future. He has a good heart but no pre-destined relationship with Dafa in the Age of the Law's End like you do."
I've also become more and more self-confident in clarifying the truth and have told about twenty people about Dafa in the past week alone. In the past, I was so paranoid and afraid about letting Master and Dafa down because I didn't know how to clarify the truth properly. Again, Master waited patiently for me to enlighten to it and even sent a fellow practitioner to tell me "don't force it, take it gradually and follow what feels natural" so that I could enlighten to that I just need to validate the Fa and Dafa with a calm mind and a pure heart. We are incomparably noble, after all. Nothing can stand in our way once we have ample righteous thoughts, as "Master has the power to turn back the tide” (“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin, Volume II)."
That is all I wanted to share for today. Please point out anything you feel is incorrect, as my level and xinxing are still very limited.