PureInsight | May 10, 2015
[PureInsight.org] When I was hanging Shen Yun special edition poster a short while back, I had a ferocious fall. This served as a profound lesson, spurning me to treat cultivation seriously and to walk well each step of my path hereafter.
At the time, my waist hurt very badly. I had taken such a ferocious fall, and knew that I had a huge gap that the old forces were able to latch on to. I also knew the reason that this calamity occurred. On the way there, a fellow practitioner was explaining the requirements and key points on hanging special edition poster. I immediately lapsed into a mood of criticism and complaint, and was even emphasizing the way I thought things should be done. Actually, as soon as I finished my ranting, I knew I was wrong. At the very least, this kind of behavior is not befitting a cultivator. But I also thought that no matter how badly I behaved, I am willing to cultivate myself, and must not concede to the old force’s arrangements. At the same time, I admitted my mistake to Master in my heart, and was determined to study the Fa well when I got back and quickly improve.
As soon as I returned home, I sat down and started to send forth righteous thoughts. Because it hurt so badly that it felt like two swords were cutting through my flesh, I sent forth righteous thoughts lying down. On the second day — Saturday, I continued to send forth righteous thoughts lying down. I knew that sending forth righteous thoughts lying down was still acknowledging the old force’s arrangements; I really shouldn’t acknowledge them at all. During 5:00 righteous thoughts time on Sunday morning, I resolutely sat up to send righteous thoughts. My waist ached and it was difficult to bear. At this time, I suddenly thought of the young fellow practitioners who dance for Shen Yun. Some of these young fellow practitioners would receive an injury, and yet they would endure the pain with a smile, performing as usual on stage. This is such powerful willpower. Could I really not get past this little thing? After thinking this way, the pain alleviated by a considerable amount — at least to the point that I could bear it. I then spent the entire day with my normal routine studying of Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and doing the exercises. On Monday, I went to the Aerospace Museum to clarify the truth, as usual. On Friday I went to hang the special edition poster as always. It can be said that I passed this test of my aching waist. But I also knew that the root of the problem not only needed to be resolved, but was even more important.
Through studying the Fa, I realized that on this matter, I had sunk into an ordinary person’s logic of who is right and who is wrong. Master said at the Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan in 2006, “The very act of using human thinking to stress who’s right and who’s wrong is in itself wrong. That’s because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others. As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important.”
What thing of mine was provoked in this situation that led such a demonic outburst?
I realized that I wanted to make it so that I didn’t have any responsibility or pressure. I wanted to be able to do Dafa work comfortably in a half-hearted manner. I also had the attachments to competitiveness and not wanting to be managed by others since I am older. I also had the attachment of self-interests, as well as to blaming others. As soon as I realized those requirements didn’t accord with my wishes and notions, I immediately lapsed into a demonic outburst, forgetting that I was a cultivator. I asked myself, “I do not want to have any kind of pressure, but have I thought about the enormous amount of pressure coordinators must have?” Did I really care about and worry about if the 150,000 Shen Yun special edition posters could be distributed in time？By being grouchy, I am not only not relieving pressure from the coordinator, but am actually increasing the pressure. In regards to the effectiveness of Shen Yun’s performance in DC, did I really realize how big of a responsibility I had? If I had really made Shen Yun the number one priority, if I had really made saving sentient beings the number one priority, would I still think of my personal losses and gains? If I had used the Dafa to correct myself, would I still indulge in my grouchiness? Instead, I would have calmly looked within and seen the huge gap within me. I would realize that I have to face up to myself and treat seriously my cultivation in the future. At the same time, I would feel ashamed that I had cultivated so poorly.
Master said in What is a Dafa Disciple, “Currently there are still some students who fall terribly short in terms of cooperating together. And not just short—it even goes so far as to sabotage one another. I will tell you, regardless of what your thinking is, anytime you serve to sabotage a Dafa disciple’s project or something that Dafa disciples should do, you are acting as a demon. It doesn’t matter that you may be thinking, “I’m a Dafa disciple, and I have done a lot.” The old forces are nevertheless writing entries into your ledger, one by one. Master’s Fa struck my heart, and I became more alert. If I have a negative effect in any situation, I am having a demonic effect in that situation, which puts me in the same category as the old forces. This is truly frightening, and is just so grave and serious.
Thinking back on the year and a half that I’ve been abroad, during this time I developed an attachment to leisure, my righteous thoughts lessened, my human attachments increased, and the number of things I found unsatisfactory grew. One time I made a telephone call to my son, and said that in China, the one troublesome thing was avoiding getting arrested by the police. My son said, “Now, though you no longer have to worry about the police, everything else is troublesome to you, isn’t that right?” I said, “Right. You are absolutely right.” Perhaps my fellow practitioner son had seen my gap, and yet I didn’t take it to heart. Whenever I encountered something troublesome, I didn’t look within, but instead blamed and cursed others. If today I had a problem with someone, tomorrow I would have a problem with someone else. I always pushed myself to be against the environment and yet I didn’t enlighten to how dangerous this is. Now that I think about it, it really is great that I had taken this fall; otherwise, I still wouldn’t be clearheaded.
In regards to how to correct myself and cultivate looking within; in regards to how to have a positive effect in any Dafa project I take part in, I must put in a great deal of effort in actual cultivation hereafter. I cannot make Master worry for me again.
Also, Master said in the 20th Anniversary Fa Teaching, “I’ll tell you, for years I have been continually saying that Dafa disciples’ abilities are tremendous, yet many people don’t believe this since those abilities were not allowed to be seen. Under the effect of righteous thoughts, everything around you, as well as you yourself, will undergo changes. Yet you have never thought to give it a try.” Master also said, “When Dafa disciples are able to send righteous thoughts with good concentration and strong enough righteous thoughts—give it a try—if you could do that today, half of all the evil that now exists would be wiped out. It is exactly because you have all sorts of human attachments, as well as problems cooperating, that it is able to exploit your gaps, prevent you from succeeding at what you’re supposed to do, and weaken your power as you go about saving sentient beings.”
I propose that we all rekindle the vigor we had when we first set out to validate the Fa. We must unify our strength. Starting from me, we must let go of all of our complaints and criticisms, use the Fa to change ourselves, and be understanding of and cooperate with each other. We must allow our faces to glow bright – bright with harmonious energy and even be filled to the brim with belief. We must never forget our responsibility and mission, and use powerful righteous thoughts to support Shen Yun ticket sales and every performance. Shen Yun’s performances in each local region would then definitely be overwhelming successes. Let us disseminate one by one our good news to our great Master, and allow our Master gratification.
My level is limited, please compassionately correct any mistakes.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/141564