PureInsight | August 21, 2018
[PureInsight.org] I am a Dafa disciple from Heilongjiang. I am grateful to Master’s compassion for allowing me to find my way home by stepping out of two fatal attachments.
Firstly, Eliminate the Attachment to the Family
I obtained Fa in 1997 when I was in school. Four classmates in our class were Dafa disciples. This should be a great fate because they were from all over the country. I was responsible to play music for collective practice in the morning, no matter rainy or windy. In the winter morning, our hands were frozen at the beginning of the practice but returned to normal at the end. We could feel Falun rotation around the body and experience a feeling of lightness like a swallow. I was diligent in Fa study and practice because I believed Dafa’s power. However, my family’s nonsupport made me very sad and uncomfortable.
After graduation, I joined a new practice site at my hometown and knew a lot more fellow practitioners. I practiced more diligently without family burden. My parents still opposed. Once, my father came to my dorm to force me stop practicing, but failed. I felt so bad because I couldn’t leave them alone. Master encouraged me by letting me see a Ping-Pong ball size Falun in pink red color on my way home. The color was transparent and prettier than any color in ordinary world. I also saw some pen tip size highlights around often. But I didn’t know it was from the old forces.
In the summer of 1999, the persecution was overwhelming. I was so confused and stopped the practice under inside and outside pressure. During those four years, I was like an ordinary person except reading new scriptures at fellow practitioner’s house occasionally.
In 2003, I suddenly understood and decided to cultivate again when I saw Master's teaching in the Greater New York area in a practitioner's home. On my way home, my body once again experienced the feeling of lightness and floating.
My wife couldn’t accept me to cultivate again and told both parents. My parent in law bombarded me crazily. My wife returned to her parents’ house. I was alone but firm on my choice. One night, I dreamed chariot chasing me everywhere under dark cloudy sky; a huge eye was watching at me. Sooner, my family members inveigled me back to imprison me at home for a long time. My Mom was crying every day; my Dad always threatened me and beat me. I couldn’t extricate myself from the pain of family entanglement. At that moment, I thought I probably couldn’t step out of this pain in my whole life because no family member supported me.
One night, I sneaked out of my house and ran crazily. I clearly remembered my heart was beating so fast that I was suffocating. Later I received phone call from the family asking me to get back because my parents were sick. When I saw my parents lying at the bed, I had mixed feelings and cried. My Dad held me crying and said he would leave me alone. From that day, I eliminated the attachment to my family. For a cultivator, it would be very hard to step out without courage and firm righteous thoughts.
Secondly, Eliminate Lust Attachment
Getting rid of the attachment to my family, I felt nothing could stop me in cultivation. Suddenly a bigger hardship pulled me to the gate of no-life. It took me 14 years to eliminate the lust attachment. Many times, I vowed before Master’s image to completely get rid of the lust attachment. I also exposed it many times to fellow practitioners. However, I repeatedly made mistake. I was desperate being unable to get rid of it. When the lust attachment came out, my every cell was irritated and unbearable. Although I did three things every day, I couldn’t cultivate diligently because of my impure status. I thought I couldn’t defeat it. Although I didn’t give up cultivation, I thought I was not worthy of being a Dafa disciple and unable to go home with Master.
This April, a wonderful arrangement made me realize I should eliminate this attachment completely. I woke up early to practice by defeating laziness. I read lots of sharing articles from fellow practitioners. After that, I realized not only the behavior was not right, even the desire between couple was imposed by God in the Three Realms. All behavior to release the essence of the body was to provide the energy and benefit for the demon of lust in another dimension. The Gods around us were recording our good deeds and bad behavior, even an evil intention. If it was concealed, the God who was responsible to record would be punished. I must eliminate those thoughts and action thoroughly, “til no single omission is found”, (from “Cultivating Amidst the Delusion,” Hong Yin) I shouldn’t have any omission.
At this moment, I clearly know that I must be able to pass this test. It made me not able to fulfill my sacred mission by killing all my confidence and my will. It’s like drugs to erode people’s will and mind by making people addicted to it. I couldn’t imagine without the Fa, and what extent shall I fall in my life? I believe other practitioners who didn’t do well in it can still get rid of it as long as they continue to cultivate.
Thirdly, Find my Way Home
I have so far twice cultivated successfully. The first was getting rid of the attachment to my family. The second one was getting rid of the attachment to lust, and I wasn’t scared to talk about this to any stranger. These happened within a month. I was not afraid of my own responsibility and consequences. After eliminating the attachment to lust, I didn’t have that emptiness state. But I found my own way of cultivation. Every Dafa practitioner got their own talents and strengths. They were assigned to assist our cultivation. I am good at speeches and conversation. They are very useful for truth clarification face to face. I should maximize this talent in clarifying the truth to classmates and colleagues around me. I look for all opportunities to clarify the truth and persuade them to withdraw from the Communist Party. I know the hardships and sacredness during the truth clarification. I remember clearly a fellow practitioner mentioned in his sharing: we should at least give an opportunity to people because their knowing side is eager to know it. We shouldn’t slacken just because few people don’t want to know the truth. It is our greatest mission in this life. Once I talked with my colleague about projects, I suddenly wanted to clarify the truth. Then I showed him the pictures taken by myself. He understood quickly but didn’t think the three withdrawals from the CCP were important. It took a long time for him to withdraw. Another co-worker and his wife also did the three withdrawals after my whole night of truth clarification.
In addition, I enjoy writing since I was a kid. However, for so many years I didn’t apply this to the Fa. It will be the greatest happiness to apply all my strong points to validate the Fa.
Finally, I want to end my sharing with a poem:
Fascinated for decades; desolation time only a moment;
Now if you wake up, a new sky is open for you.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/244087