Abandon Human Attachments and Cultivating with My Children

Bi Cheng, a disciple in Beijing

PureInsight | February 13, 2021


Greetings, revered Master!

Greetings, my fellow practitioners!

Dafa pointed me to the path of cultivation in 2012. In 2020, my wife and I could feel the connotation of such profound Fa teachings and mighty divine power of Dafa in the course of reciting the Fa. We’ve upgraded ourselves indeed.

As we need to work on weekdays, our grandmother and grandma help looking after our children. My wife sometimes works overtime. In 2020, she gave birth to a second child. I usually take care of the child by myself. In this process, I also let go of some human notions. At the beginning stage, I felt that looking after a child is a woman's business, and gradually I was able to truly understand my wife’s hard work. This little being can come into the world at the last moment of Fa-rectification period and enter a Dafa practitioner’s family, which is Master's arrangement.

1.    Looking Within

My wife and I obtained the Fa a bit late. Also, we don’t have much common personalities. Thus, I feel dissatisfied with her work role. Sometimes I found her selfish. Sometimes I blamed her because she neglected to take care of children when she was doing her own business. Then I would supervise our children actively. Gradually our children always wanted to be with me, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable.  

Traditionally, male hosts outside and female leads inside. Though both my wife and I have a job, my notion has never changed. When I saw a man playing with kids, I got confused. Why the kids’ mother did not carry out her task? The man may feel scared about his wife. Unexpectedly, I became such a person now.

The more frequently I played with my children in outdoor areas, the more I felt embarrassed when I ran into my relatives and friends. I was such a big man to coax kids. Also, I’m a leader in a small division at my workplace. The more I felt awkward, the more frequently I encountered my co-workers. My colleagues asked me, “Where is your daughter’s mother?” I felt embarrassed to tell them, “Her mother is very busy…”

The more I spent time with our children, the more I could not help but to make complaints to my wife. However in actual facts, I was dissatisfied with her taking care of children, so I was willing to raise the children by myself.  As time went by, I seemed to be obliged to raise children on weekends, which had made me feel uncomfortable. But as a cultivator, this perspective was wrong.

After looking within, I found that I cared too much about what others would think of me. It was the traditional notion that has resulted in the attachment of fame. That notion was acceptable among everyday people. However as a cultivator, I should assess this issue using Dafa. Master taught us that we should look inside when conflicts arise and be considerate of others. According to the Fa teachings, we should feel happy and thankful when having a hard time and abandon human notions. How can I distinguish right from wrong using everyday person’s perspective? When I became clearheaded, I was happy to take my children outside by myself. To my surprise, I rarely bump into acquaintances. When I did meet with my friends occasionally, they did not ask me about my wife’s whereabout. Everything seemed to get back to normal.

2. Cherish the Affinity with Dafa and Cultivating with my Daughter

Our lifestyle has undergone a significant change when the second little being came to our family. For instance, upon finishing our daily work, my wife and I should study Fa together, which has been maintained. However my kid was sometimes so naughty that he made noises to interfere with our Fa study. In the evening, it took a while to coax him to fall asleep. Because of this, we sometimes fell asleep to have missed the global times to send forth righteous thoughts. We had to send forth righteous thoughts again the next day. Moreover, we had to spend time playing with him outside during weekends. Sometimes I really felt a bit annoyed about these routines. Gradually, I was unable to concentrate on Fa study as before. I felt that my Fa study and cultivation was affected by my kid.

On one hand, I was aware that the kid came to my family due to Master’s arrangement. On the other hand, I should fulfil the responsibility to cultivate with my kid. But my cultivation seemed to be really affected. When I kept studying Fa, I found that selfishness played a bad role. Why I took my own wellbeing a top priority? Why everybody should serve my interests? This person was not the true self, but a postnatal self. We’re expected to cultivate ourselves to become great enlightened beings without any selfishness. Why I could not tolerate such a little kid? In the future, how can we behave when we need to look after a huge number of sentient beings?

In fact, the children of Dafa disciples’ families are different from everyday children. My child liked to watch the cover of Zhuan Falun. He sometimes wanted to kiss Master’s image. After he was able to speak, he always pointed to Falun printed on the cover of the book and said happily, “It was rotating! It was rotating!” One night, he suddenly said to us, “Mother, please endure a bit hardships. Father, please endure something tough.” Our eyes were facing each other. It was unbelievable that a child who was under three-year-old could talk about this. But I fully understood that he was helping us practice cultivation, which was arranged by Master. He really deserved our respect because he came into the world poisoned by the ten Evils during the Dharma-ending period.

We were thus gradually less affected by sentimentality. Since then, we have educated our child in a responsible manner in accordance with Fa teachings. As a result, he was happy to listen to us. He had undergone a positive change, which was due to Master’s mighty compassion and a divine power of Dafa.

Compared with fellow practitioners who are doing well in the three things, we have a lot to do in order to catch up. As long as we’re given opportunities to upgrade ourselves, we will treasure our fortune to cultivate Dafa, do a thorough job in the three things, and save more sentient beings and live up to Master’s compassionate salvation.


Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/264253




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