PureInsight | November 26, 2006
[PureInsight.org] (New England Fahui 2006)
As I began to write about various tests during the World Transplant
Congress, I realized how I had not stopped to look inside when
attachments surfaced. I regret leaving so many WASTED
OPPURTUNITIES. My son had been telling me every which way he
could about some of them. I am truly blessed to have son who is a
cultivator close by with his understandings and truth.
During the WTC my first test occurred during the press
conference. I was standing, holding a banner when all of a sudden
I had an incredible urge to speak. I remembered a few years ago at the
Democratic National Convention when I was in the exact same spot,
holding a banner and wanting to speak, but never made the attempt,
frozen with the fear of public speaking. This time was
different. I was actually heading to the front in hopes of saying
something. When I got there, as tough as those steps were, I was
told that I could not speak, and that there was time constraints and
that it would not be possible. In the past I would have gladly
ran back to my spot, but not this time. I responded that for a
practitioner, everything is possible. In a blink of an eye I was
told that there was a gap in time and asked if I was ready now.
As I frantically tried to write something on paper, I was told "you're
on." I thank Master for giving me another chance.
Another situation came about when I asked a practitioner for help in
moving the artwork to the Convention Center and he refused .My heart
was moved briefly, but I continued on my way. As I now look inside I
see my attachment to doing it my way or being right.
Another attachment that came to the surface was my attachment to
qing. When I was dropping off practitioners who came to help from
other regions at the airport, I felt a deep sense of loss and
sadness. Even though we only spent a few hours together I felt
more connected to them than any of my relatives. However, when my
daughter left for college this past September, I was again faced with
this attachment of qing, as I began to have a feeling of sadness.
The next things that I would like to talk about are some events that
occurred while we were at city hall. An ordinary person began
knocking down our display boards. One practitioner began to stop
her. As she moved away from this practitioner, she engaged an
older female practitioner with a loud antagonistic attitude. Because I
had not studied the Fa well, I acted like an ordinary person and made
joke to try to lighten the situation by squeezing the practitioners arm
muscle. I wish I had remembered this quote from Zhuan Falun,
"Even among everyday people, the middle aged or older people and those
with high level education also exercise self restraint and refrain from
disputing with others, not to mention our practitioners. How can
it be taken as being cowardly? I say that this is a reflection of great
forbearance and an expression of strong will. Only a practitioner
can have this heart of great forbearance."
I am sure that this is something I must pay close attention to.
While holding a banner, I was watching a practitioner engage in truth
clarification to a young man. I recognized this gentleman, as I had
previously clarified the truth to him myself in the Boston Commons. At
that time when I spoke with him there, I sensed that he might have some
metal problems that could be difficult for someone to detect by
appearances. I clarified the truth to him in depth that day, but there
are some people who have a weak main consciousness and can be easily
manipulated to waste practitioners' time, and prevent them from
clarifying the truth to others. I felt that this was the
situation. So I tried to relieve this practitioner from talking
with him as so many people were passing by. At a later group study,
this same practitioner expressed her concern about my approach. I had
not explained to her that I had encountered this gentleman before and
my reasoning for relieving her from this conversation. It was not until
recently, after reading an article on Clearwisdom that I came to a new
understanding that is less selfish. I deeply apologized that my
compassion was lacking that day.
The last thing I would like to share was an experience I had before
group study at MIT. A few minutes before we started to read, I
had noticed a Chinese practitioner eating some plain white bread.
You may think that this is trivial, but Master's arrangement for me to
see this was no mistake. What I saw in myself was my attachment
to comfort, my attachment to food, my lack of truly going beyond the
limits of forbearance. Knowing that this practitioner comes down
to Boston all the way from New Hampshire with no time to eat a full
meal, so that he can arrive at Fa study on time, I understand that this
practitioner truly understands this sentence that Master teaches in Zhuan Falun, "If one does not have any attachment, it is fine to eat just about anything to fill the stomach."
Another point is the true meaning of putting the Fa first. As I
know myself and other practitioners who live locally are not always be
on time, when we probably could be. This practitioner's actions
have left a deep impression on me.
Writing this experience has helped me tremendously.
Thank you Master, thank you fellow practitioners.
