PureInsight | June 28, 2007
[PureInsight.org] I found
myself slacking off and falling behind with my cultivation lately.
After I studied the Fa and thought further, I gained more understanding.
I realized that my cultivation state was unstable sometimes and my time
to practice was less than before. I made a plan to do my exercises for
an hour after studying the Fa and before I went to work every day. It
was pretty good in the beginning, but soon, I had to go to bed earlier
because I wanted to preserve the time to do the exercises, so I had to
trim some of work at night. In the morning, due to the time used to do
the exercises, I had to cut a little bit of time from studying. As a
result, I could not finish even one lecture in the morning and I had to
make it up during the day. In addition, because there were too
many things I must do, I had to cut short of the time for exercises.
After it went on like that for a while, I realized that the form was
not important; the important thing was my heart. Did I do one hour of
exercises to ease my conscience, to improve myself, or to save sentient
beings? Slowly the conflicting thoughts were resolved. I
slept a little later, so I could finish what I must accomplish for that
day. In the morning, I persisted in studying the Fa and doing the
exercises, so I felt energetic.
Sometimes I have an attachment to comfort and, in my subconscious, hope
that I can have success with my career and the like.
However, these are only my ordinary people's notions and the reality is
quite different. I started to complain about a lot of things,
regreting the mistakes I made in the past. In that way, I lived my days
in complaint, resentment, remorse, and wishful thinking. I did
not realize that those were signs of my slacking off in cultivation and
also of the hindrance to my moving forward in my cultivation path.
Actually, I should have recognized, from experiences of my own
and other practitioners, that a cultivator's firm belief in Dafa
and the degree of improvement has no direct effect to the cultivator's
economic condition and social status. I kept thinking that if my
economic condition improved, my cultivation would also improve.
That, of course, is a conditional cultivation which is beneath the
cultivation of a real Dafa disciple, With notions like that, even
if my economic condition improved, I would immediately acquire a new
attachment that would become a new barrier to my elevation.
Meanwhile, this notion will cause the old forces or other evil forces
to join in and add unnecessary interference, which will complicate
everything. With so many human notions, one goes further and
further astray from the path of cultivation.
For example, when I fantasize that I am getting a good job, I would do
this and that. The more I think about that, the harder it will be for
my condition to change, due to the close watch from the old
forces. Only when I can truly let go of fame and gains and do my
best to validate Dafa and save sentient beings will my condition change.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2007/6/23/44480.html