Peace: A Solution for Conflicts

Peng Suhua

PureInsight | November 1, 2007

[] Peace is a diluent for anger! Peace is an antidote for resentment. Peace is a cleaner for conflicts!

No one wants to waste time having conflicts with others because no one likes the consequences of conflicts.

Therefore, under certain conditions, if you can give the majority of
the benefit to the other party, the other party may be so moved that he
will get along well with you or be happy about your tolerance and you
may even obtain nice rewards in the future.

My motto for dealing with others is enthusiasm, sincerity, humility,
giving, and tolerance. I do not like to insult or have confrontations
with others. My principle is that when I think that there is a
difference in opinion or an unfriendly manner, I can always maintain a
peaceful manner. However, a recent unforgettable event has turned my
principle upside down!

I organized a speech and communication training class. There were over
30 smart young people and the professor was an expert in this field
whom I truly respected. Twenty minutes before the class, our professor
came in with a bright smile on his face and I greeted him with
enthusiasm. He took out a painting from his bag which was promised to
me when he had his art show. He spread the painting on the desk and
there are birds and flowers in the painting. I was excited and thanked
the professor.  Unfortunately, I found some dark spots of various
sizes on the painting, so I asked the professor. His answer was, "I
give it to you because it got dirty." He then added, "The five birds
with their mouths open representing your non-stop talking!"

His answer was like a thunderbolt. I could not imagine that someone
with a good reputation would utter such hurtful remarks in front of
thirty-some participants. I was so embarrassed and hurt that my eyes
were filled with tears and my heart was dripping with blood. My
emotions were at a boiling point. I almost took a defensive move and
accelerated the conflict. I wanted to curse him, tear his picture
apart, and so on.

However, I turned around and saw 60 big eyes watching us with the
excitement of watching a great performance. I decided that tolerance
was the best policy and kept the situation under control. I understood
then that anger and resentment were absolutely unnecessary. So I took a
deep breath and put a smile on my face. I said, "Thank you for the
painting. It is time for the class!" The following three hours, I
locked myself in the office and cried my heart out until the class was
over. I wiped my tears and respectfully sent the professor off with a

The following week, my heart was heavy like the sinking Titanic. I told
my husband about the incident. He exploded and wanted to tear the
painting to pieces. However, after I pondered what had happened for
several days, I could see it differently. I told my husband, "I am no
longer angry and I have decided to take that painting to the shop and
put it in the best frame. Then it will be hung in the most obvious spot
in our home to remind me not to make the same kind of mistake!"

That was a while back. Now, that professor often showers me with the
highest praise in public.  In addition, he gives me valuable
suggestions and full support for many of my activities.

From this incident, I am deeply aware of a few things:

1. If you cannot avoid being with people whom you dislike, you respect the other party.

2. Any actions or words come from an agitated heart are foolish.

3. What people say and what they do are from different frames of mind.

4. People normally forget what they said, but the listeners never do.

5. An ocean can contain many rivers because it is located in a lower spot and much bigger.

6. People avoid conflicts because they want peace!

There is nothing like peace in this world. It brings people happiness and hope.

Let's learn from peace to truly love life, people, and the world!

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