[PureInsight.org] When reading articles on Pure Insight, I found myself especially interested in articles about reincarnation and karmic relationships, for example the principle of good being rewarded with good and evil deeds meeting evil retribution. I also remind myself that we should not be too attached to such articles.
My celestial eye has been open since I was very young. I did not feel special about it, and instead thought everyone was like that. Sometimes a screen appeared in front of my eye. It was different from the screen in a movie theatre; it was instead like looking at scenes in the sky. The screen was in my forehead and the pictures were not big. After I began to practice, I asked practitioners about this, and they said that they had not experienced it. I then realized that my celestial eye had been open since my childhood. After starting to practice, the scenes I saw were more related to cultivation. Occasionally, there was some interference, which was sometimes severe. I followed the Fa and did not pay attention to them. For those related to cultivation, however, I tried to look within and improve.
I had one thought since I was young, that is, to die in order to get away from the sorrows of this world. I did not know where the thought came from. I once saw Beethoven's music in a store when I was in middle school, I bought some without thinking. I noticed many similarities between Beethoven and myself. Although I was a girl, I was irritable and eager to outperform others. Later, after beginning to practice, I accidentally learned more about his life and music. I could hardly read music notations, but I was able to understand his music and inner world. With strict and intensive music training since childhood, Beethoven's musical talent was associated with his mission—something from heaven. Together with his instinct and pursuit for wonderfulness, his music was very unique and earned him unprecedented recognition. However, being trapped in the earthly world, and due to a poor family education, he was loft with egoism. He also considered music sacred and not even a little contempt was allowed. However, other than music and his reputation, he had almost nothing. He never had much money, nor did he have health, a marriage, or any children. He was very sad because of this, and was tormented by jealousy of those who had money, health, and family. Meanwhile, he was very attached to his accomplishments and reputation. Composing music helped him briefly stay away from the heavy burdens in his mind.
Beethoven was strongly attached to family. In order to obtain the guardianship of his late brothers’ son so that his musical talent could continue to develop, he spent a large sum of money on a lawsuit. During that process, he was cold and selfish, and ignored the pain of his nephew's mother. Because of Beethoven’s high expectations and strict discipline, his nephew hated him, which caused Beethoven to suffer a lot. On a similar note, I did not realise my strong attachment to family until recently. My entire cultivation is in danger if I am unable to get rid of it.
I also noticed another shortcoming of mine. As a teacher, I have my own way of teaching students, but my expectations of them are also near perfection. I was so strict with them; I sometimes even made myself wonder why. From this, I realised I need to look within and do well as a Dafa disciple. After all, the most important thing for me is to treat others with kindness and save them.
Other than issues related to health, Beethoven was actually open-minded and humorous. His strong mind was blended with gentleness, especially religious sincerity towards love. I used to have similar feelings and I had to remind myself that, as Dafa disciples, we have to follow the Fa and let go of all these attachments.
As a musician, the feeling of being unable to hear music was beyond description, making one feel that he would rather die. That is why Beethoven wrote wills several times. Those sufferings echoed in my mind: if we truly reincarnate, I will not choose the career of a musician. Instead, I would rather be an ordinary person with health. Also, being an ordinary woman is simpler and the burden will be lighter. Better not to play musical instruments and not desire to outperform others. All that being said, were he able to choose again, he may still take the same path...
Practitioners are always excited when watching Shen Yun performances. However, I had an unusual thought, “That [acting in Shen Yun] requires a lot of effort. Since I have already suffered a lot in history, I would rather have an ordinary life now.” I shared this thought with other practitioners, and they disagreed with me. Nonetheless, when watching the Shen Yun orchestra perform, I was touched: after long periods of happiness and sorrow throughout history, I am relieved that music is finally used to validate the Fa...
Once when doing the sitting meditation, I saw Beethoven, and noticed his characteristic hair, and calm persistent face. I knew what he was waiting for; I felt I owed him a debt. With the Fa from Master, I benevolently resolved it with him. He disappeared from my dimension and his heavy burden was also gone. I knew he now had a peaceful mind and was waiting for me to complete cultivation and return. Since then, the thought of dying to get away from the sorrows of this place no longer bothers me.
Although my celestial eye has been open since childhood, what I saw was very limited. Most were pictures, or fragmented views. So I do not know who I have been in the past. Nonetheless, I do know Dafa disciples have played many roles in the past and have suffered tremendously. We need to cherish the opportunity of cultivation.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2011/11/16/78674.html