PureInsight | January 22, 2012
[PureInsight.org] I had a physical tribulation starting on October 12, 2011. The old forces attempted to put me to death. But with the Fa and help from other practitioners, we defeated the evil completely within two weeks. Here I would like to share what happened and my understanding on it. I also want to remind other practitioners who may have similar situations as mine.
1. Physical Tribulation
The physical discomfort began on October 12 including fever and a severe headache. I also felt powerless with pain all over. It was very intense and I could barely withstand it. I was at work and I immediately called my mother, who is also a practitioner. She came over and we sent forth righteous thoughts together. Some evil beings were eliminated and I felt a little better. As soon as we stopped however, the evil came again. I felt even more painful and powerless, and the fever also worsened. Mother had to leave to take care of another matter. I then from my heart asked Master for help. It took me a long time to get home from work. When I got home, I immediately went to bed after entering the house. I felt pain everywhere, from head to toe, from my internal organs to my skin. I was unable to sit up to send forth righteous thoughts. So I repeated the Fa-rectification verses and recited the Fa while lying in bed. The pain seemed to weaken somewhat. Mother came home around 10 pm. We continued to send forth righteous thoughts and eliminated more evil beings. The next morning, one relative called my mother for help on something and she then left. I felt uncomfortable again as if the pain was endless. By then, I realized that it was an arrangement of the evil, attempting to put me to death. In addition, my mother had to leave for this or that reason, and she was unable to help me send forth righteous thoughts. In the afternoon, mother came home again. She studied the Fa and sent forth righteous together with me. It did not work because the evil was too severe and I had too little righteous thoughts as a result of the pain. I could not do anything except to call Master for help. After suffering in agony for the whole night, I almost collapsed. Seeing my situation, mother was disturbed by sentimentality and wanted to take me to the hospital. Despite my weak righteous thoughts, I was determined in my heart, “I am a Dafa disciple. This is persecution from the old forces and it is not an illness.” I said to mother that I would not go to hospital even if I died. (When discussing this with other practitioners later, I realized that by thinking of death, I actually acknowledged the old forces. Thus I later sent forth righteous thoughts and voided such thoughts.)
Then, I thought about getting help from other practitioners and mentioned this to mother. She immediately called some practitioners. Five practitioners came and they sent forth righteous thoughts for a long time to help me. With their help, I got out of bed and sat on a couch to join in sending forth righteous thoughts with them. After a while, I began to vomit a lot.
2. Working as One Body
After these practitioners left, the local coordinator came over. After seeing my situation, she notified more practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts for me. In the afternoon, more than one dozen practitioners came. They sent forth righteous thoughts with me and studied the Fa with me. A big battle between the righteous and the evil thus started. I could feel that a large amount of evil was eliminated and then replaced by another batch. In order for more practitioners to help me, the coordinator suggested that I temporarily stay with my mother who lived in the metro area. I thus moved there and practitioners took turns coming to help send forth righteous thoughts. My mother lives in a tall building and practitioners made a lot of effort in coming to help me. They did it in three shifts a day, 7 to 8 am, noon till dinner, and 7 to 8 pm. We also studied the Fa together until 9 pm, followed by another round of sending forth righteous thoughts. In addition, some practitioners stayed at home or at the local Fa-study site to send forth righteous thoughts for me. We thus formed a strong one body to eliminate the evil. I knew Master was helping me although I had done poorly in cultivation.
My fever lasted about 10 days starting from October 12. Because of the extreme pain, I hardly had any righteous thoughts. In addition, I went deaf starting from October 15. I could not hear practitioners studying the Fa, nor could I hear the exercise music. I was very frustrated. Sometimes when sending forth righteous thoughts, I could not keep sitting. So I stopped and lay on the couch. With no righteous thoughts, I thought about quitting. Fortunately, other practitioners still continued and did not abandon me. Once, while I was sleeping on the couch while several practitioners still sent forth righteous thoughts for me I heard a demon above my head say, “We cannot win against them.” I sat up and said to the practitioners, “Let us continue with sending forth righteous thoughts, I just heard a demon say they could not win against us.” The practitioners were all encouraged. We worked together and eliminated the evil above my head. I also became more awake. Apparently, the evil planned to occupy my brain to weaken my main consciousness and righteous thoughts. It then deafened my ears to separate me from the Fa and fellow practitioners. This way, it planned to destroy my determination and ruin me. This was indeed a vicious and evil plot. Fortunately, our compassionate Master gave me the ability of clairaudience at that moment. After hearing the frustration of the evil, I strengthened my faith so that I could encourage practitioners to keep working together. I was very grateful for Master’s compassion. At that time, some practitioners helped me to read the Fa and recite the Fa, in order to increase my righteous thoughts.
In “Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference,” Master said, “‘I'm Li Hongzhi's disciple, I don't want other arrangements or acknowledge them’--then they won't dare to do that. So it can all be resolved. When you can really do that, not just saying it but putting it into action, Master will definitely stand up for you. What's more, there are lots of Fa guardians around Master, there are lots of Buddhas, Daos, and Gods, and there are even greater beings, and they will all participate, because forced persecution that's not acknowledged is a crime, and the cosmos's old laws don't allow it either--irrational persecution absolutely is not allowed, and the old forces don't dare to do it if that is the situation. So you should do things as righteously as you can.” Some practitioners reminded me to offer benevolent resolutions to the sentient beings that wanted to be saved. Some encouraged me with the Fa. I felt my righteous thoughts begin to get stronger.
During those days, many practitioners came to visit me. Some I did not even know; some lived far away and some were elderly practitioners. One practitioner was already in her 50s and she lived several kilometres away. Sometimes she came in the afternoon and sometimes in the evening. She came on a bike and had to carry a flashlight with her when she rode in the evening. One elderly practitioner was in his 80s. He came many times to send forth righteous thoughts with me and shared understandings with my mother on this. During the days when I could not hear, practitioners asked me to read first. When I was tired, they began to send forth thoughts and read with me. After I was able to hear a bit, I went to the local practice site. Practitioners allowed me to read more so that more Fa-principles could refresh my mind. We remembered what Master said in Essentials for Further Advancement II, “The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” When I thanked them for this, the practitioners smiled and said we were one body.
I also constantly opposed the evil with actions. In addition to sending forth righteous thoughts with fellow practitioners, I also kept attending the global sending forth righteous thoughts four times a day. Although I could not sit for a long time in group Fa-study, I nonetheless tried to join in as much as I could. In spite of the difficulty of reading the Fa with my weak voice, I kept studying the Fa with fellow practitioners as well as studying by myself. I also struggled getting up every day to join the global morning exercise. When the evil interfered with my hearing, I opened my eyes and followed the movements of my mother. Despite the difficulty in standing, I forced myself to stand and asked Master for help. When I could not raise my arms during the second set of exercises, mother supported my arms so that I could continue. Soon afterwards, I was able to do the exercises as usual.
3. Looking Within
As I continued to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil, my righteous thoughts strengthened. I followed Master’s words and began to look within. I found that I had a major loophole of lust and the evil took advantage of it. In addition, I also had other attachments, such as strong jealousy, showing off, and qing (sentimentality). I began Falun Dafa cultivation practice in 2007 and had not been doing well on the issue of lust. Master gave me hints many times, but I did not fully recognize the seriousness of this issue, nor did I cherish my cultivation opportunities. Because of the old forces, I had strong human notions: 1) I had only practiced for four years, and the requirements for me from the Fa might not be that high. 2) My husband works far away from home all year round. It is reasonable for us to “conform to ordinary human society” when he came back. This way, I found excuses to cover my lust and attachment to qing. When studying the Fa, I occasionally found Master talking about these issues and sometimes He spoke of them very seriously. I still thought they referred to those who had affairs, and I did not do things of this nature with people other than my husband. When reading articles on Clearwisdom on these issues, I thought I must do better, and let go of lust. However, I could not keep it up and this attachment still existed inside me.
During summer break, I went to visit my husband together with my child. I did not do well on the issue of lust. One time, Master gave me a real shock in a dream: because one layer of my body committed wrong deeds on the issue of lust, my lower body was subjected to the torture of being burned on an ironing board. My main consciousness was too scared and ran away from the scene. After waking up from the dream, I thought about this issue but still did not pay much attention to it. During the long holiday starting from late September, my husband came back home again. I sent forth righteous thoughts and specifically studied the section on the issue of lust in Lecture Six. But because of my strong attachment and because I had pursuit when studying the Fa, I still did not do well. My husband went back to work one week later on October 4. Not long after that, the old forces began to persecute me on October 12.
4. Opposing the Mental Persecution
In addition to the physical suffering, the evil also persecuted me mentally during that time. My husband and siblings all work in other cities far away. Because I could not hear or talk with them over the phone, they asked my mother and heard about my situation. They took turns to pressure me and my mother for me to go to hospital. They also called my uncle and tried to get him to pressure us. My husband threatened to return home immediately and throw away my personal belongings (he referred to my Dafa books) if I did not go to hospital. In my heart, I begged Master for help. I also sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil beings and elements involved in this.
During that time, my mother also suffered tremendously. She took care of me and was worried about me. Because of the pressure from family and relatives, she also tried to make me to go to hospital after practitioners left. I was in tears and said to her, “If you force me to go to hospital, you are pushing me to death.” One time, I begged mother in front of other practitioners, “Today, we have many practitioners here. Please, stop trying to make me go to hospital. Although I have done poorly in cultivation, I know Master will not abandon me.” I knew mother has strong sentimentality towards me and I often felt a heavy oil and smokey smell on her. So I said, “Mum, your sentimentality towards me is so heavy that it makes me hard to breathe. Please stop worrying about me and I will be fine. When reaching consummation in the future, you will go to your world and I will go to my world.” One practitioner told me later that after hearing those words, some practitioners were in tears. Other practitioners also shared with mother, and she began to understand the situation based on the Fa. Plus, seeing my determination, she stopped trying to make me go to the hospital. Later, my righteous thoughts became stronger and stronger. My mother had confidence after seeing this, and she began to let go of her sentimentality.
One day, my husband called me again. I could not hear him clearly, but I said, “You do not have to call me every day. I will recover soon.” One day, my sister said that my husband suddenly appeared much older because of me. My mother heard this and asked me to send a text message to comfort him. I did not want to do it since I attributed my wrong deeds to be partly his fault, so I hated him. Then, I realized that I am a practitioner and I had to be considerate of others. They were worried about me and they wanted me to get better. It was me who did not do well and caused this mess. I thus sent a text message to my husband, “I am sorry for the trouble I have caused. I also want to thank you for everything. I am doing much better now.” From my behaviour in the past several years, my husband already knows that Dafa is good. He called me not long after that. Master also helped me, so I could hear most of my husband's words. After seeing my improvement, he calmed down and no longer insisted on my going to hospital. From this, I deeply felt that Master is nearby all the time.
5. Voiding the Contract with the Old Forces
After sending forth righteous thoughts one morning, a practitioner shared her understanding with me, saying that we might have signed some contracts with the old forces. She asked me to send forth righteous thoughts to void all possible agreements with them. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts for several days. Then one evening, with my eyes open I saw several evil beings sitting there. One of them asked me, “Where is your paper?” I immediately realized it was referring to the prehistoric contract I had signed with them. I said, “I only acknowledge my agreement with Master Li Hongzhi. I will void all contracts with you. All of you will be destroyed at every level, all of you!” The biggest evil immediately jumped at me. I called aloud, “Master, please help me!” Then I could not see the scene any more.
I kept sending forth righteous thoughts in the following days to completely oppose any prehistoric contracts I had with the old forces. I thought that Master knew I had those contracts. That is why he gave me the hint through other practitioners so that I could pay attention to this situation and void them. About 10 days later, through their celestial eye, a practitioner saw that a black layer was removed from me. From that day on, my fever diminished.
6. Completely Opposing the Persecution
Practitioners continued to study the Fa with me and sent forth righteous thoughts with me. My righteous thoughts also became stronger and stronger. I began to realize that I am a disciple of Master Li Hongzhi. Master has given me everything and arranged everything. All attachments can be rectified by the Fa and it has nothing to do with the old forces. In addition, all old force beings will be eliminated and they are not qualified to persecute me. Plus, we Dafa disciples have the mission to assist Master with Fa-rectification and the salvation of sentient beings. It is a sin to persecute Dafa disciples. This way, my situation improved after 13 days. I could hear the exercise music, Master’s audio lectures, and practitioners studying the Fa. Not long after that, I returned to normal. I could eat as usual, I was able to walk downstairs and I was able to go for a haircut.
Now I am able to join other practitioners to validate the Fa and assist Master with Fa-rectification. Both my mother and I are very grateful to Master, as well as the help from fellow practitioners. Because we worked as one body, we were able to break through the arrangements of the old forces.
Through my tribulation, I came to understand that no matter how difficult it is, we have to remember that we are practitioners. We can never lose faith in Master and faith in the Fa. Moreover, we have to examine our thoughts, really look inward, and eliminate all attachments. We also need to oppose all arrangements of the old forces, any contracts, and the old forces themselves. I also felt the power when we practitioners join together as one body.
There were two incidents after my recovery. One was due to my zealotry, and the other was due to my attachment of sentimentality. That is, because I relied on mother, I still expected her to help me after my recovery as if I was indeed a patient. Because of these two reasons, my condition was unstable for a few days. But through Fa-study, I soon removed these attachments and improved my xinxing. This is a lesson I want to share with everybody.
There was a lot of interference when writing this article as well. For example, I had headache, feeling powerless and so on. When I almost finished writing the article, I forgot to save the file and I had to start all over again. But finally, I overcame all this interference and finished writing. I cried many times when writing this article, for the compassion from Master and all the help I received from practitioners. I will do the three things better to fulfil my mission of saving sentient beings.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2011/11/27/78864.html