PureInsight | August 31, 2017
[PureInsight.org] I've realized that I have a strong dependence on others; I feel very lonely when other practitioners leave me alone. Apart from when clarifying the truth, I hardly communicate with other people. I normally talk more than other disciples when clarifying the truth, but I still need someone by my side to feel safe.
I obtained the Fa as I was about to get married. My sister in law had just obtained the Fa as well. When I stayed at her house, I could hear various music playing from Master’s photo and it lasted for more than four hours. That music was beyond anything in the human world. I have been saved by Master countless times until today. I'm unable to imagine Master's huge compassion in completely cleaning me up from the human world.
There are dozens of villages near me. I decided to go out and clarify the truth by myself. Due to the shortage of Dafa disciples, nobody had ever distributed anything there. I planned to take more than 100 materials with me, although I was a little concerned, because a few disciples had been arrested there. But when I was on my way there, I did not think much. If anyone had asked me previously about my deepest regrets, I would say that it was that there was no one to take care of my daughter when I was arrested. Now, I would say that not memorizing the Fa is my biggest regret.
During a nice season weather-wise, I can easily meet people to speak to and materials can be distributed door to door within an hour. How relaxed I felt! Selflessness brought me a sacred feeling. I also felt that Master and many Gods were with me as I distributed the materials.
A magpie was singing as I drove my electric car back home. They may have been congratulating the saving of beings. The next day I planned to go clarify the truth 20 miles away, where local disciples had been clarifying the truth for half a year. I didn’t feel much dependence now, but I found an evil notion in myself; it was a kind of comfort that I wouldn’t be the only one if I was arrested. Many of my attachments came from this evil idea. I will trust Master and the Fa, and eliminate it.
I am very picky about who I clarify the truth to. In my opinion, people who lead a good life do not accept the truth easily, because they pay more attention on profit. Young people are also deeply poisoned through computers and are hard to be saved. Moreover, my last arrest came after truth clarification to a male--I needed to be careful with males as well. Because my attachment to lust hadn't completely been eliminated, I couldn’t have a huge heart of compassion to save beings. There was a big gap between other disciples' truth clarification and mine. I had to memorize more Fa and cultivate myself diligently.
My daughter was out when I returned home. After sending her a message, my cell phone had a message for me: "create a stage for yourself even if you are the only one on it."
--Yes, it is my individual vow and cultivation journey to help Master save beings.
Translated from http://www.zhengjian.org/node/158769