PureInsight | October 14, 2022
[PureInsight.org] Since August 2020, I felt painful in my right knee, and it worsened within a few days. What was the matter? I increased my practice of the five exercises. After afternoon Fa study, I practiced an extra hour of the Falun Standing Stance exercise. Although the pain alleviated a little, it was still there. Squatting down was okay, but it hurt when I stood up. Still, I had no problem walking, but the pain persisted the whole time, which was really annoying. Slowly, my left arm began to feel a faint pain, and lifting things became difficult. When I did the exercises, I did not feel any pain, but when I did not do the exercises, there was a faint pain. This situation continued until March of this year.
I knew I had some cultivation issues, but I did not know what the problem was. That is until one day, after having studied the Fa, I stared at my legs in a daze for a while, and suddenly a thought came up: “Resentment.” Do I have such strong resentment? I looked within carefully and found I did harbor strong resentment, as well as fighting, jealousy, impatience, disdain for others, lust, attachment to benefits, etc. There were really many attachments! I was startled that I was that terrible, why didn't I find all these out earlier? I often read practitioners' sharing articles about removing resentment, but I did not look at myself, I treated it as irrelevant, and thus failed to truly cultivate myself.
Before I practiced Dafa, I resented my parents in-law for favoring their youngest son. My husband is the oldest child and works out of town. Since I got married, I have lived with my parents in-law, they gave us a set of furniture, a TV, and that is all. Everything was very simple. A few years later, when my brother-in-law got married, he got a new house, fully furnished, TVs, and kitchen appliances. That is why I always complained in front of my husband, but he just did not speak, and sometimes he would say, "There are no wrong parents in the world." I had nothing to say. So during that time, I was unhappy all day, my heart felt very tired. Every occasionally I complain. Many little things had accumulated in my mind, so the more I think, the angrier I got. My husband said I was having periodic seizures.
Since I started cultivating Dafa, I have treated my attachments lightly. As a result, our relationship has become harmonious. I also know that I had endured so much hardship to obtain the Fa; but there is still resentment hidden in my bones! I reflected on my words and deeds, and found that I did not do well in many areas, such as not considering others. This resentment must be removed. Fa-rectification is almost over, can I reach consummation with such strong resentment? Can I go to heaven with so many attachments? After looking within, I felt relieved at once. I felt so relaxed like I had never been before! Looking within is so great!
I remembered one more thing. On March 17 this year, my brother-in-law was on a business trip. His son and daughter-in-law work out of town, and his wife took care of their one and a half year old grandson at home alone. She was too busy, her little grandson was mischievous, and she could not even cook, so she called me to help out when I had time. I complained about her before, about how her family was always asking us to help. Yet, when I was laid off from my job, neither she nor my brother-in-law offered me any assistance. Later on, I went to work for another company, and it took me a long time to calm down. Now I am retired, I have more time to cultivate, and my schedule is full every day. However, on the day of writing this, I did not think too much about my past grievances. I rode my bike in the rain to get to her house. She wanted me to mind her child. Playing with the child on the first day was a bit tiring, but it was okay.
On the next day, the little grandson woke up at 5:30pm in the afternoon. After playing for a while, my sister-in-law told me to give the grandson a bath. After the bath, I was ready to go home. It was getting dark and the rain just stopped, so I was in a hurry to go. When I went downstairs, I accidentally rubbed my foot on the edge of the stairs. It was a little painful, but I did not think much of it. I proceeded to get on my bike and ride home. But when I got home, I noticed a large piece of skin had rubbed off my heels, and there was blood all over my heels and socks. When my husband saw it, he said, "It's already like this. Are you going tomorrow?" I answered loudly without thinking, "Of course, she can't do it all by herself. If I don't go, how can she manage?" My husband did not say anything after he heard that. The rain became heavier after dinner. Listening to the heavy rain outside, I thought to myself that the weather forecast stated continued heavy rain for tomorrow, so what should I do? I did not want to think about it anymore, and decided to just study the Fa. I had not studied the Fa the whole day. While studying the Fa, my sister-in-law sent me a text message saying that my brother-in-law would return the next day, which meant I did not need to go back.
After studying one lecture of Zhuan Falun, I hand copied the Fa. I had hand copied Zhuan Falun twice before. I ended up stopping on the sixth lecture on the third time of hand copying the Fa. On the day of writing this article, I decided to continue hand copying the book. The night was very quiet, and I was able to hand copy Zhuan Falun with an attentive mind. Some sentences' meaning seemed new to me, as if it was the first time for me to hand copy the book. The next morning during exercises, when I was holding the arm in front of my forehead, I saw a big black bear stand up and walk away from my field. After doing the exercises, my arms and legs did not hurt at all. My heart had never been at peace like at that moment. Cultivation is really wonderful! When I talked to my husband about this, he said loudly, "You didn't complain this time." I was shocked, it was clearly Master gave me a hint through my husband’s words.
In fact, I only did a little better than before. It was Master who took away the karma that had tormented me for half a year. Thank you Master! I do not know how to repay Master, the only way is to study the Fa well, do the three things well, and return to my original true self with Master! Thank you Master!
If there is anything inappropriate, please correct me with compassion.
Chinese version: https://www.minghui.org/mmh/articles/2022/6/26/445322.html