Ordinary People's Rejection of My Clarification Efforts Reflects My Own Attachments

A Falun Gong Practitioner in N

PureInsight | February 19, 2006

[PureInsight.org] While
clarifying the truth towards my friends and families, I've discovered
that their view of Dafa and questions relating to my
truth-clarification efforts often reflect my own attachments.

It was either last year or two years ago when The Epoch Times
reported the truth of what really had happened after Japan invaded
China during the World War II. The Chinese people in Mainland were
taught that the army of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) was the one
that defended the country, while the Nationalist army not only didn't
fight against the Japanese invaders but fought against the Communist
army instead. In reality, the truth is completely the opposite. I took
one look of the report and felt that it might be too difficult for
ordinary Chinese people from Mainland China to accept it. That was
because, even to me, I felt that the history taught in the history
books in Mainland China had taken roots in the Chinese people' minds,
and it's impossible for them to change their view. So I thought that I
shouldn't clarify the truth about the evil nature of the CCP on this
point. I told myself, "Besides, we can use a lot of other facts to
clarify the truth and reveal the real nature of the CCP, why do we have
to use this?" I liked using what I was familiar with, such as June 4th
in Tiananmen Square and the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners, to
clarify the truth to people about what the CCP is really about.

Because of that thought of mine, my husband would get extremely angry
whenever the topic of the Nationalists, not the Chinese Communists,
being the ones that fought the war against the Japanese during the
World War II came up. He thought that we are so anti-CCP that we have
to make up lies against it. He didn't even want to hear me talk about
it or read the facts. Later on it was his friend, a non-practitioner,
who talked to him about this matter. He listened and realized the
truth. I feel that his one-time beliefs that we are "anti-Communist"
and that we "made up everything bad about the CCP" were created by my
own attachment, as I frequently worried about how the non-practitioners
would see us. My worries then became realities. Now I do not worry
about such things anymore, because I know what we tell people is the
truth, and we don't make anything up. The CCP has written its own
history. We have never said anything untrue about it. By its own
nature, it is evil.

When "The Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party" were first
published, it took me quite some time before I started reading it. It
was because at that time I wasn't too clear about the evil specter of
CCP and its evil nature. When I read that "The Nine Commentaries"
contains words such as "the thuggish nature of the Communist party" or
"evil nature of the Communist Party," I initially felt that those words
were too strong, and non-practitioners might not accept them. So
whenever I handed out "The Nine Commentaries" to relatives, they said
the same thing when they read the chapter titles, and said that it felt
like we were cussing. But now I don't think that way anymore. If we
call a good person "thuggish," then it's cussing. But the Communist
Party itself is thuggish. This term is very objective when it is
applied to the Communist Party and not strong at all.

Last year I wasn't clear about what "The Nine Commentaries" said that
the Communist Party's rule is illegitimate. I thought, "Although the
CCP used a violent mean to seize power, hadn't all dynasties in the
history of China gained power the same way? How do we say that the
CCP's rule is illegitimate?" So whenever I talk about "The Nine
Commentaries" to others, the same comment was repeated to me. Later on,
I re-read "The Nine Commentaries" carefully and realized that the
reason the Communist Party is illegitimate is because they sided with
the Soviets and sold out China and didn't fight against the invading
Japanese during WWII, so it could preserve its strength and gain power
one day. That is to say, they used all kinds of despicable means in
order to gain  power. But many rebellions in Chinese history took
place because people were trying to overthrow a corrupt emperor. They
were fighting for justice. So they are completely different from the
CCP in its campaign to seize power.

Once I corrected my wrong understandings, changes took place around me.
The changes are the most obvious with my husband. I found out that
whenever I worked through an issue in my own mind and understood it
completely, he then became very willing to listen to me when I
clarified the issue to him. Some of the things might appear to be at
too high a level, but he seemed to have no problem accepting them as
long as my convictions were strong. But whenever I was wishy washy or
when I was concerned about too many things, he would have a lot of
questions.  I realized that it's very important for my mind to
focus on the Fa. Especially since the speed of the Fa-rectification is
very fast, our truth-clarification has to be all-encompassing. None of
the topics that we raise while we clarify the truth to the public on a
large scale is by accident. They are truths that need to be revealed at
different stages of the Fa-rectification. We have to view and support
them with righteous thoughts. All of our doubts, human notions and
concepts can create obstacles in the way of non-practitioners'
understanding the truth.

A year after we began to clarify the truth in Manhattan, I didn't have
the guts to tell my husband that one of our goals was to urge large
American companies to stop funding the CCP's persecution against Falun
Gong practitioners. I felt that he wouldn't understand it and might
feel that I didn't love my country, etc. But this was an omission,
because everything we do is done in the open and we have nothing to
hide. If my mind is not solid, or if I am afraid of letting others know
about certain things, those must be omissions that I have to cultivate
on. In addition, it's also a reflection of my own lack of understanding
on those issues. I must still have deviated human notions. 
Otherwise I wouldn't be worried about what others might think.

Last time I was talking to my mother about how it's wrong for foreign
companies to send money to Communist China, because the CCP has been
using a quarter of the country's wealth to persecute Falun Gong
practitioners, and they shouldn't support the persecution. My mother
reacted negatively against what I said immediately. She asked how we
were showing our love for the country and said, "Isn't a lot of the
money being spent on improving the lives of the Chinese people?" I
realized that the reason she thought that way was because I had been
thinking along the same line and was wondering how to answer the
question if someone asked me that. Because of that, my mother
immediately asked that question. Because I was always trying to avoid
that question in my mind, it immediately came out of my mother's mouth.
I thought about it over and over again, and realized my own notion on
the issue had been warped, as if it is acceptable to spend a part of
the foreign investment money to persecute people as long as some money
is spent on building the country. Using a part of the money on
persecuting Falun Gong practitioner is wrong and against the will of
Heaven, not to mention it's a quarter of the entire country's income.
In the future, if people ask me the same question, I plan to ask them
if they still lend money to others if they know that they are going to
use ¼ of that money to do bad things, such as committing murder, arson
and drug-dealing, etc.

This year my family's desire to watch the CCTV Chinese New Year
Performance was also created by my own unrighteous thoughts. It is
because two days before they told me they wanted to watch the
performance, I had overheard my friends talking about their plans to
watch the performances and was worried how I would be able to convince
my family not to watch it if they expressed an interest. I felt that I
wouldn't know how to handle the issue and it might be difficult to
convince them not to watch it if the topic came up. It indeed came up
two days later. I used to think that I had no interest in the CCTV
Chinese New Year Performance and I knew that the evil is behind it. But
when my family raised the issue, it made me realize that I must have
omissions in this area and must look within myself to find out what my
problem is.

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