Pay Attention to Insights of Fellow Practitioners - Even If They Are Related to You

Ming Tien

PureInsight | May 2, 2007

[] My husband
became a practitioner in 2004.  I considered him to be a newcomer
so, whenever I had problem, I liked to talk with other veteran
practitioners.  Yesterday, we were talking about cultivation
environments in China and outside of China.  I believed that
practitioners in China are better at letting go of human notions.
Another practitioner said that it was about the same and gave various
examples. On the surface, I agreed but, in my heart, I still insisted
that practitioners in China were better. Perhaps, they have various
attachments but, in that environment, they know better what cultivation
is. I did not feel comfortable and even pointed out that practitioners
here tended to criticize others during sharing. The other practitioner
also said that if I did not feel comfortable, it indicated that I had
an attachment.  I was also aware of that but I could not let go of
my human notions.  I carried my heavy heart home.  

While we were arguing, my husband was silent and said that he did not
understand much. I was quite arrogant about it and I thought that he
was new and what would he know anyway. After we got home, I started to
do chores and sighed occasionally. My husband suddenly said that we
were all wrong today. I was startled and said, "What do you know?"

He said, "I did not know what you were discussing, but I only knew what
you said did not comply with the Master's lecture. Master said that in
China or outside of China is the same and so why were you arguing? Even
you have a different opinion, you should not criticize others behind
their backs. Sharing is exchanging what is in your mind. If you see
someone is lacking, you should point it out in a kindly way. Your tone
of voice did not comply with "truthfulness, compassion, and
forbearance." I am a new practitioner and should maintain my xinxing. You are a veteran practitioner. Shouldn't you do the same?"

I was startled and speechless, so I stared at him.  

He asked, "Did I say the right thing?"

I said," Yes, absolutely!"

I asked him why he didn't talk to me before.  He said that I
looked down on him because he was a newcomer. I was shocked that he was
right. I considered him my husband and not my fellow practitioner. As
time passed, I was getting more arrogant since I considered that I had
been through so much and cultivated for so long.  I have forgotten
the most fundamental principles and fallen into my own fantasy. I want
to stay away from new practitioners and ordinary people.  My two
feet are off the ground and I forget to cultivate my xinxing.  Meanwhile, I am also waiting for Master to take me home.  How dangerous that is!

We continued to share a lot more.  We have been married for four
years. I have taken good care of him in our daily life, but we rarely
talked about the principles of the Fa. Recently, published
the book "Cultivating the Mind, Severing Desires"
and I am thinking, "Why did I want to get married?" Now, we have a
really good relationship, so it is getting more difficult to let it go.
This is despite the fact that in our four married years, we have been
low in desire and gone to bed separately at night right after sending
righteous thoughts. However, our relationship is getting better. Isn't
this looking for trouble? Sometimes, when I look at him, I think that
if I let go of him, I would not be moved, no matter what happened to
him. Now I think about it and find it laughable. Trying to make
something to happen is also action and, currently, I cannot meet the
requirements of the Fa.

I found purity and tranquility after the discussion with my husband.
What a deep predestined relationship we share in order to cultivate
together! I realized that this predestined relationship is of my own
choosing, but I must walk my own journey.  I understand how
difficult it is to cultivate in Dafa when I recite the Fa daily. 
It is harder than any other cultivation system. In temples, all the
monks are separated from the outside world and are forced to give up
their lust and desires.  Here, we are rolling in the world of lust
and yet we have to remain pure like lotus flowers.  When I recite
"People with great inborn quality," there was only one word in my mind:
"difficulty."  There are too many attachments that I need to let
go of.  I also understand Falun Dafa is the strictest and the most
difficult cultivation system, but it also enables us to reach the
highest level.  Cultivating in ordinary society is something no
one has dared to try in the history of mankind. Our Master, however,
has brought us the harmonizing Dafa. On the surface, it looks simple
and easy but, in reality, it is extremely difficult.  
Whenever I find my attachment, I feel pain. I ask myself why my
tolerance is getting lower.  Now I understand the reason: the
requirements for us are much higher.  My heart is not broad enough
and I am not even nearly as good as the new practitioners. No matter
how far I have traveled and how much I have experienced, if I don't
cultivate my heart, then I am doing it like an ordinary person.

Family members are also fellow practitioners and they have deep
predestined relationships with us.  I used to mind little ordinary
matters when I was with relatives, but never shared the
Fa-principles.  Bystanders can see better. When I was lost in my
own attachments, a few words from a fellow practitioner can bring me
back.  However, I discount the ones right next to me.  A
cultivator is always in a cultivating environment, so please don't
overlook the environment and fellow practitioners at home.

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