PureInsight | September 23, 2012
[PureInsight.org] Being able to see and listen to venerable Master’s lecturing at Fa conferences once a year is the wish of every Dafa disciple, and especially the millions in mainland China.
The conference rooms have limited space, therefore it is difficult to assemble the practitioners in one conference hall. The conference must then be held in separate halls which means practitioners in rooms off to the side of the main hall are only able to see and listen to other disciples’ sharing via television screens. In certain areas, especially where there are many practitioners and despite the coordinator’s best efforts, it is hard to distribute tickets fairly. Thus, complaints, hard feelings, and various opinions among a portion of practitioners prevail.
Initially, I thought the problem had nothing to do with me and I was unattached. But after this year’s DC Fa conference, I thought about what Master said in his lecture: “I sometimes think about how if you don’t get a lot out of a Fa conference, it won’t have been worth it. That’s because you spend a great deal on your tickets and your travel. The reason I don’t want to hold too many large-scale Fa conferences is precisely because I want to reduce your financial burdens as much as possible.” It was only then that I suddenly discovered that my own attachments regarding this matter were by no means small and that it was time to make breakthroughs by searching for and doing away with them.
A few years ago, when I had just arrived in the U.S. from mainland China, my outlook toward attending the Fa conference and listening to venerable Master give his lecture was most pure and respectful. I had a very solemn and dedicated attitude toward attending the Fa conference as well. Several years have since passed and that excellent state of mind ought to have improved, being ever-more steadfast. But upon close self-analysis, I found an added degree of sentiment existed in wanting to hear Master lecture. My desire to take part in the Fa conference and listen to fellow cultivators’ experience sharing began to wither.
For instance, one year I attended the Fa conference and found myself taking a gamble to overlook the minimum age restriction for allowing young children into the main hall. I went so far as to barge in through the main entrance. When another practitioner pointed out the misbehavior, I tried justifying it, saying something about my child being quiet and well-behaved. At the time, I was totally ignorant of my incorrect thinking and behavior; it was in fact worse than that of an everyday person.
Another time, I noticed some fellow cultivators with whom I was acquainted eating lunch inside the conference hall in order to occupy the front rows of seats so they could be closer to see Master more clearly. This kind of human guessing on whether or not Master will come is in itself a show of disrespect. However, I not only ignored their mistake, but I thought myself unfortunate as I had brought a child and had no way of doing what they did. When the DC Fa conference ended, once again I felt upset and at the time did not think to get rid of those thoughts. I had told my husband to go to the main conference hall, but afterward I became irritated saying that he was selfish and didn’t think about me and our child, etc.
Now, when I look back and search within myself, I break out in a cold sweat. Master says in “Leaping Out of the Three Realms” in Hong Yin (Translation Version B):
“Not caring about human pain or joy
Is a cultivator
Not attached to gain or loss in the world
Taking a look at myself during that time, my behavior was far from that of a cultivator. Isn’t it disturbing?
Looking inward is a treasure of the Fa, it is a treasure to all those truly aspiring to become Dafa disciples! I absolutely want to seek out and discard those bad things that the old forces want us to keep. I want to wake up and seek out the original me in the midst of the Fa.
Our purpose in attending the Fa conference is not to see Master, nor to hear Master once again give a lecture on some new aspect of the Fa. It is for mutual discussion to rise up in cultivation. Our purpose in participating in activities is not for congregating together to chat and eat, but to intimidate the evil and to quickly bring an end to the persecution, reaching consummation and returning with Master.
In fact, upon finding my attachment, I realized that to cultivators there is no difference between the main or side conference halls. It is our own attachments that cause this illusion to arise.
Master brought up many times—in Zhuan Falun and in lectures—that disciples’ “minds must be right,” and requires us at all times to regard ourselves as cultivators. So I say to myself: I must absolutely not forget Master’s lesson, and must at all times regard myself as a cultivator, a cultivator of Falun Dafa!
The above sharing is solely from my own personal experience. May fellow cultivators point out with compassion any portion that is lacking in righteousness.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/111914