Complaints – Touched – Shame

A Dafa Disciple

PureInsight | April 13, 2013

[] The urgent project of making and distributing Shen Yun calendars to save sentient beings is close to the end. As the saying goes, “Time does not wait for anyone.” We have rapidly entered the year 2013. Reflecting upon the process of saving people is very intriguing and makes me ponder, giving me a deeper understanding of cultivating in Dafa.

Our materials center created only a few calendars last year. Distribution was also limited to friends and family. Very seldom were they distributed to people on the street. In late November last year, we began progressively producing and distributing more calendars. In the beginning, when we ordered calendar boards, we limited the order to two or three hundred, being afraid of ordering too many, and not being able to distribute them all. One time, a fellow practitioner sent us a thousand calendar boards, which immediately made me and practitioner A nervous. We thought, “Can we distribute these many?” But before we could agree, practitioner B said, “Leave them. We can distribute them all.”

I was so worried! Each day, I thought about quickly producing and distributing them, and not putting it off until the New Year. I therefore forced myself to distribute them in person on the streets.

One day I took the finished calendars out to distribute them, and at one point, I saw a woman who wanted to initiate a conversation with me. I quickly overcame my attachment of fear and I said to her, “Hello! Mascot calendar! Free gift!” I turned quickly to leave after she took the calendar. Suddenly, I heard her say, “Wait!” I turned back, and saw her running towards me. She quickly embraced me and cordially said, “We’re the same.” At first, I froze, but then I quickly understood: she was a practitioner, too. I had given the calendar to a fellow practitioner. Looking at the calendar with great admiration, she said, “I don’t have any.” I replied, “This isn’t for us.” She quickly explained, “It’s for saving people. Our group doesn’t have any calendars to give to sentient beings.” Passion for the calendars poured from her eyes. Upon seeing the fellow practitioner’s urgent wish to save sentient beings, I gave her all my calendars. She took the calendars and said softly, “You’re doing a great job.” As she happily left, I felt warmth inside, even though the weather was really cold.

Around late December the calendars were all given out. Almost all of them were given out face-to-face. Therefore, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. However, practitioner A said, “Practitioners B and C worked well together, and brought in another 1,200 calendar boards.” I ran out of patience. I thought to myself, “Could we possibly distribute them all with only a week left in the year?” Worried, I began to complain and cynically said to practitioner B, who was in the process of making calendars, “Why didn’t you just bring in 12,000?” I forcibly restrained the rest of my complaints.

In spite of my complaints, as the calendar boards came in, we had to make and distribute calendars. Dafa disciples must let go of self in order to work as a whole body. It was actually quite miraculous. Every time I returned home from the materials center, I would bring back lots of calendars. Though they were very heavy, I felt like I had lots of strength. When I went back to work, I felt even more invigorated than before. Also, when I went out to distribute calendars, I was much more proactive and braver. I also distributed more than I had done before. The distribution process also became smoother.

One time I brought along far too many calendars, and they were just too heavy. So I found another practitioner to help carry my bag. A few days earlier, the same practitioner brought a little over ten calendars with her and walked for a long distance, but didn’t hand out any of them. This time when she saw that I distributed many calendars in a short period of time, she was very encouraged. The second time, when we went out together to distribute calendars, she was able to hand them out face-to-face. I was very moved when I saw that she had made a leap forward. Had practitioners B and C not ordered so many calendars, and if I hadn’t so much fear of not distributing all the calendars, would we have had this opportunity to make a break through? Would there be more sentient beings receiving calendars and being saved? I thought of the female practitioner whom I had met when distributing calendars. Her words were constantly in my mind, “I don’t have any… We don’t have any calendars to deliver to sentient beings… You’re doing a great job.” I don’t know when I stopped complaining about practitioner B. However, before my eyes emerged the scene of sentient beings and their expectations of the truth, as well as their happiness of receiving the truth. I saw practitioners cooperating as a whole: practitioners silently accommodating the needs of other practitioners regardless of the time of day. I saw practitioner B’s tolerance towards other practitioners and his fearless courage, as well as, his sense of responsibility whenever practitioners, or sentient beings need him. I gradually felt extremely moved.

In "Fa Teaching at the U.S. Capital", Master said, “The focus for you right now is simply to find ways to do better, to be more efficient, to have a greater impact, and to save more people.” “Aside from what you as individuals need to go through and establish on your final road to Consummation, what is most important for you and most significant right now is to save people.”

In the process of producing calendars to save sentient beings around the New Year, I didn’t think of the urgency of saving people. I was more afraid of not being able to distribute the calendars. On the other hand, other practitioners were thinking about how to save more sentient beings. How big of a gap is this? Even if there were lots of calendars, fellow practitioners were thinking, “Saving one more sentient being, is one more life that will not perish. Also if there are too many calendars, we’ll just distribute them together.” Such righteous thoughts and righteous actions are admired by the Gods very much. With such being the case, how could evil continue to exist? In retrospect, isn’t this Master’s arrangement for us to cultivate? Isn’t this all Master’s care in paving our heavenly paths?

After reading Master’s lectures, and seeing other practitioners’ righteous thoughts and actions, I feel very shameful about my complaints and emotions.

This is my sharing with fellow practitioners. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.



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